Raw Content Feedback Form

Please provide general feedback on the raw content of my essay—these are my ideas, stories and thoughts that I’ve not edited in any way. Iam farfrom the proofreading stage, so please don’t worry about the length of the content, paragraphs that don’t flow, typos, grammar, etc. I’m just trying to see if the general content works.

Please don’t tell me what to write or change–just tell me what does or doesn’t work, and perhaps why. Keep in mind that a college essay is not the same as a school paper. Its job is to give the reader a strong sense of who I am as a person.

If you like a phrase, sentence or idea, please highlight it and tell me why! I need to know what stands out.

Pretend you don’t know me. What does this material say about me?

Is there anything that leaves a negative impression? If so, please let me know exactly what and why.

Does this sound like my voice?

Does it reflect who I am? Is this me?

Does it show these personal strengths, either through the story or the way it’s written?

(If there aren’t ten strengths from my character strengths survey listed, please ask me to fill them in!)

10.

Do these three types of content appear in the essay? What type (if any) could be beefed up? (There may be just a bit of one type and a lot of another, or equally balanced. They also may be blended into the same thoughts or sentences.)

Stuff That Happened.There are specific events, conversations, places…this is what gives the reader a sense of “oh, I’m in a place and time and can visualize what’s going on.”
In-the-Moment Experience. This is what I was thinking and feeling; what was going through my head at the time of the event or action?
After-the-Fact Analysis, Insights, and Perspective. This is what I understand, think and feel today as I look back at the story and experience in the essay. Is this a generic essay, or is it uniquely mine? Is experience is personal and individual?

Without telling me specifically what to write or think, is there anything I should write about more? What am I missing?

Any other comments?