Difficult Interactions
Friend & Cook
Chapter 11
Overview
Conflict and resistance are two challenging aspects of communication that all helping professionals must learn. Being comfortable with disagreements and learning to channel energy toward effective resolution entail patience and letting go of your own point of view in order to truly hear another's. Piece of cake. Right?
Conflict
Think of conflict as friction. Necessary to enhance growth.
Conflict occurs when individuals or even groups of individuals hold different perception about similar events.
One or both parties generally feel the other is in the way of the goal they are trying to reach.
Conflict in Schools
Different frames of reference exist about the process of schooling
New recognition of the importance of affective development
Shared leadership roles-collaboration means there will be conflict as roles are re-negotiated.
Conflict Benefits
Neutral:
Quality enhancing:
Ownership:
Thinking is sharpened
Trust levels increase because difference are heard.
Conflict Mastery leads to professional maturity.
Causes of Conflict
Different Goals: wanting different outcomes but must agree upon one.
Competing Goals: Same goal but only part of the group will achieve their needs.
Within Individuals
Beliefs clash with emotions
New experiences do not match expectations, etc.
Management Styles and Conflict
Differing styles impact likelihood of conflict: too rigid (authoritarian) or too loose (laissez-faire) increase conflict.
Clarity:.
Communication Patterns: open & informed versus closed & exclusionary,
Conflict Style Response
People have developed characteristic ways of resolving conflict (THEY DO NOT HAVE TO REMAIN the only way of resolving issues!)
Thomas and Killman handout identified four: Avoidance, Accommodation, Competition, and Collaboration.
Avoid conflict and practice accommodation of your instructor by knowing these definitions and strengths and weakness with each style.
Resolution Processes
Negotiation is ______
Mediation is ______
Understanding Resistance
Occurs as reaction to interpersonal changes
“the ability to NOT get what is NOT wanted”
If I drag my feet long enough the other person will give up mentality…..
Resistance is
A defense mechanism mechanism that prevents us from undertaking changes that is too risky for our sense of safety.
Causes of Resistance
Concerns about Proposed Changes
Expectations
Concerns about Personal Impact
Fear of failing
Tolerance for frustration during learning
Loss of autonomy
Concerns about Others Involved in Change
Who is asking for the change?
How will relationship be altered?
Homeostasis
People and systems often try to keep things the same even when change is warranted.
Indicators of Resistance
Deferring Change to a Future Time
Relying on Past Practices (p. 266)
Assessing Whether to Address Resistance
Appropriateness of the Resistance
Is this person telling you they are not safe, or ready to make the deisre change?
Is it warranted?
Is the timing of the requested change be feasible?
Other’s commitment to change
Is the other person sincere or merely agreeing to end the discussion?
Conflict Communication Skills
Understand the other’s and own frame of reference
Know when to use feedback and indirect questioning
Presupposition
Ample use of open questions.
Persuasion techniques P. 269+