The Stress Relief Triangle

Using the definition of stress that…

Stress is the perception
that the demands you face
outweigh the resources you have to handle those demands

we can see that there are three factors involved when we're feeling stress. I call it The Stress Triangle. The 3 factors are…
1. the demands we are facing
2. the resources we have available to us, and
3. our perception of the situation

The key point to note is that the demands we face are not inherently stressful. It's our perception of our ability to handle the demands that createsour stress response.

So, to reduce and relieve our stress, we can address these 3 factors with 3 approaches. I call these The Stress Relief Triangle. The 3 approaches are…

1. changingour perception of the situation,
2. reducingthe demands we are facing, and
3. increasing the resources we have available to us.

EXAMPLES:

1. Changing our perception of the situation:

  • Deciding the situation is not as bad as we first thought
  • Taking time to breathe and calm ourselves so we can respond calmly and think clearly
  • Reframing the situation from a chore or threat into an opportunity
  • Taking the long term or bigger picture view of a situation
  • Focusing on the end result rather than the process (or vice versa)

2. Reducing the demands we are facing:

  • Deferring tasks and postponing meetings
  • Withdrawing from commitments
  • Saying no more often, particularly when we really don't want to do something
  • Passing on the task or responsibility to someone else
  • Decide that 'good enough is good enough' instead of aiming for perfection
  • Stop trying to rescue people, be the 'good girl' or be 'superwoman'
  • Simply stop doing particular tasks

3. Increasing Our Resources:

  • Asking for help. Having someone assist you with a task or project
  • Looking after your physical health so you are calmer and have more energy
  • Changing how you do things, egordering groceries online vsin-supermarket shopping
  • Simplifying your life so you have more 'breathing room' physically and/or mentally
  • Increasing your skills so tasks or interactions are easier and less daunting/frustrating/stressful

EXERCISE

Take some time now to apply the Stress Relief Triangle to the things that you're currently experiencing some stress about.

  1. Make a list of the things you are often feeling stressed about.
  1. Go back to each of the stresses in this list and ask yourself 3 questions about it:
  2. Can I change how I look at this situation?
  3. Is there a way to reduce the demands this is placing on me?
  4. What can I do to increase my resources to handle this situation?

Stressful Experience / Approaches I Can Use to Relieve This

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