The Presbyterian Church of Toms River

THE PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH OF TOMS RIVER

POLICY FOR PLANNING WEDDINGS

A wedding is, first of all, worship of the God who calls a man and woman together in marriage. Recognizing, as you plan your ceremony, that God ordains marriage, you will have a clearer vision of what your wedding service should be.

The first steps toward a joyful wedding and a happy marriage are taken long before the ceremony begins. The time of engagement is a time when the couple thinks about the ceremony, but more importantly, a time when the relationship itself is examined. During your dating relationship and especially during your engagement, the process of learning and growing together --in love and in faith in Christ --has already begun.

A wedding is a celebration and should be an act of joyful worship. As an act of worship the wedding should not become a display or production to impress friends or to conform to social convention.

For your assistance the following guidelines are prepared:

WHO MAY BE MARRIED AT THE PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH OF TOMS RIVER

It is expected that at least one member of the bridal couple is a baptized Christian and that both bride and groom are looking forward to a marriage which will be blessed by God and sustained by a close relationship with a community of God's people, either this or another congregation.

THE CHURCH

SCHEDULING THE CHURCH FACILITIES

You may inquire about the use of the church facilities by calling the church secretary and discussing with her the date and time desired for the rehearsal and wedding. Our Sanctuary seats approximately 500. Our Chapel seats 100. A wedding is considered scheduled only when a letter of confirmation is received from the church office.

TIME OF SERVICE

Members of the church may request any day or time for your service, with the exception of Holy Week, or after 2:30 p.m. on Saturday. Ordinarily weddings are not scheduled on Sundays, holidays or holiday weekends. December Sanctuary weddings will require special approval, due to the high use of the Sanctuary at that time of year. Wedding services for non-members of the church are not performed during Advent or Lent.

WEDDING HOSTESS

In order to have a smooth and orderly rehearsal and wedding, one of the church wedding hostesses will assist the pastor and the wedding party. This hostess will help with all aspects of the ceremony at the church. Any other hired wedding planners will not have any responsibilities during your time at the church.

REHEARSAL

The rehearsal date should be scheduled in coordination with the church calendar as soon as possible following the confirmation of the wedding date. The bride and groom are responsible for notifying all members of the wedding party of the hour of the rehearsal. Emphasis should be placed upon all members of the party being present and on time. When everyone is on time, the wedding rehearsal should take no longer than 45 or 50 minutes. The minister of music is not present at the rehearsal.

THE PASTOR

As a service of Christian worship, the marriage service is under the direction of the minister and the supervision of the Session [Directory for Worship, Presbyterian Church (USA)]. When the building reservation is confirmed, the wedding party is assured that one of the pastors of The Presbyterian Church of Toms River will conduct the wedding.

REQUESTING A PASTOR.

If you wish to request a particular pastor of The Presbyterian Church of Toms River, please inform the church secretary, who will inquire with that pastor as to his or her availability.

Sometimes because of church and personal scheduling, a pastor is unable to commit to a wedding earlier than six months in advance. If you do not have a preference for a pastor, one will be assigned.

OTHER CLERGY PARTICIPANTS

Ordinarily the pastors of The Presbyterian Church of Toms River will conduct all of the weddings in our facilities. If you wish to have a pastor from another church assist in your wedding ceremony, please inform the pastor performing your wedding of this request at your first meeting together. At the discretion of our pastor, an invitation may be extended to a clergy person.

PREMARITAL COUNSELING

To prepare for your wedding it is required that you attend our Marriage Orientation class as soon as possible following confirmation of your wedding date.

Premarital counseling is required of couples being married at The Presbyterian Church of Toms River. Once an officiating pastor has been determined, it is the responsibility of the bridal couple to contact the pastor and arrange for the first counseling session.

Premarital counseling usually spans several sessions.

THE SERVICE

GENERAL CONDITIONS

Alcoholic beverages are not permitted in the building or on the church property, and smoking is not allowed in any part of the building.

Furniture in any of the church buildings is not to be moved or relocated to other areas of the building.

For purposes of safety, no aisle runners are permitted.

The use of rice, confetti, bird seed or rose petals is not permitted.

ORDER OF SERVICE

The wedding ceremony is a service of worship. Therefore, one of the orders of service traditionally used for weddings in our congregation will be employed, in consultation with the bridal couple. Occasionally, requests are made to modify the service in some way. Such requests should be made to the officiating pastor by the last counseling session prior to the wedding rehearsal, and their approval is at the sole discretion of the officiating pastor. Any readings other than from the Bible must be approved by the officiating pastor.

PRINTED WORSHIP BULLETINS

It is not necessary to have printed worship bulletins at your wedding, but they can be helpful, especially if the congregation will be asked to participate through a responsive Call to Worship or prayers or the singing of hymns.

Bulletins can be printed for you through the church office using the church's cover design or a wedding cover which you provide. All information for the bulletin needs to be delivered to the church office no later than two weeks before the date of the wedding. If bulletin covers are to be provided by the couple, the covers also need to be delivered at least two weeks prior to the wedding. A final draft of the bulletin, whether printed at the church or elsewhere, must be approved by the officiating pastor before final printing. All printed bulletins will include the following announcement: " At the request of the congregation and families, photography and videography are not permitted by wedding guests during the service."

MUSIC

Since the wedding ceremony is a service of worship, when music is chosen it should be suitable for worship. For this reason the music is to be chosen with care and understanding and should enhance the spirit of worship in the service. All music arrangements should be made in consultation with, and must be approved by, our Minister of Music. The bridal couple is responsible for scheduling a meeting with our Minister of Music to select music for the ceremony. The Minister of Music, or his designated substitute, serves as the organist for all weddings. Requests for the use of guest soloists should be made to our Minister of Music for consideration.

When selecting music for your wedding, the text and music should focus on the worship of God, and exhibit good musical quality. The text should correspond to the themes which are appropriate in a Christian wedding service (e.g., God's love for humanity as displayed through Christ, forming the foundation for the love a man and woman share; God's blessing asked for the marriage; praise of God expressed as Christians rejoice).

Many selections from opera, movies, theater and other popular songs --are often inappropriate. Many such songs, along with a number of old standards commonly used in wedding services, frequently lack the proper focus. Often their texts extol romanticized or secular ideas about love and marriage, therefore detracting from the worship of God. Popular songs are more appropriately and more satisfactorily used at the reception. Other songs, such as Ave Maria, that do not agree with the theology of the Presbyterian church are also inappropriate for the ceremony.

It may be that you would like to have the congregation participate more fully in the wedding service. Because all are participating in worship, the guests at your wedding may wish to join in expressing their praise, and a congregational hymn(s) may be effectively used in this regard if you desire. Instrumental solos ( e.g. trumpet, flute, oboe, violin, etc. ) or ensemble music are also appropriate for the wedding service. Generally no more than two vocal solos are used in the wedding service. If you desire instrumental or vocal music in your wedding, our Minister of Music will assist you in choosing appropriate music, deciding where to place musical selections in the wedding service, finding soloists, and arranging for rehearsal.

The music you choose will aid in making your wedding service a meaningful service of worship offered to the glory of God.

FLOWERS AND DECORATIONS

Although certainly not necessary, flowers have become a customary decoration for the sanctuary. Since the wedding is a worship service, attention should center around the worship of God rather than flowers and decorations.

We have clips available to attach flowers and bows to the pews.

It is the responsibility of the wedding couple to communicate to the pastoral secretary their plans for a timely disposition of flowers and the removal of other decorations after the service. If you wish to leave the chancel flowers from a Saturday wedding for the Sunday morning worship services and/or delivery to homebound persons, please discuss this with the pastoral secretary early in your wedding planning.

While pew or aisle candles are permitted to be used, candles used for this purpose should be dripless and enclosed by a hurricane globe for fire protection. No tulle or other drapings of flammable materials may be used in the vicinity of candles.

The church does have for your use, at no charge, a unity candle base, candelabra and candle lighters, and a kneeling bench. Candles are also available for a small fee.

When the church has been decorated for the Christmas season, all flowers and decorations placed by the church must remain in place for weddings performed at this time.

PHOTOGRAPHY/VIDEOGRAPHY

Only the official photographer and/or videographer (paid professional or volunteer) is permitted to take photographs or videotape the actual wedding ceremony and it is helpful if family and friends are informed of this policy in advance of the wedding. If a printed wedding bulletin is used, a notice will be placed in the bulletin to remind worshipers of this policy.

All official photographers/videographers will receive a copy of the photography/videography policy of the church and must submit a signed statement to the Church Office that they have received, read, and agree to abide by the photography/videography policy of The Presbyterian Church (see Appendix of this booklet). No photographer/videographer will be permitted at the wedding unless this statement of compliance has been received. Photographers/videographers who have previously photographed/videotaped weddings at The Presbyterian Church and who already have a signed statement of compliance on file with the Church Office need not file a new statement.

Photographers/videographers who sign the compliance statement and do not comply will not be approved/permitted to participate in wedding ceremonies at The Presbyterian Church of Toms River in the future.

It is the responsibility of the wedding couple to check with the Pastoral Secretary as soon as their photographer/videographer is confirmed, to determine if their designated photographer/ videographer has a compliance statement on file with The Presbyterian Church. If not, it is the responsibility of the wedding couple to supply their photographer/videographer with a copy of the compliance statement, which should be signed by the photographer/videographer and returned to the church office within 30 days of confirming the photographer's/videographer's services.

MARRIAGE LICENSE

The marriage license should be given to the pastoral secretary no later than one week prior to the wedding. The pastor will complete it, return your copy on the wedding day, and return the registered copy to the appropriate government office.

THE BRIDE'S DRESSING ROOM

The small rehearsal room on the north side of the building is available to the bride and her attendants. Some prefer to dress there; others, to do last-minute preparation before the service. In any event, there is privacy and the room is reserved for the bride. The entrance to the music wing on the Chestnut Street side of the church is located right next to this room

FEES AND HONORARIA

Fees and honoraria are detailed in a separate schedule which the pastoral secretary will provide.

STAFF LISTING

Staff may be contacted through The Presbyterian Church Office (9 a.m. to 5 p.m., Monday - Friday). The church telephone number is: 732-349-1331

Church Secretary Linda Calvillo

Pastors Scott A. Thayer, Associate Pastor

Ministers of Music Josh Melson

Michael Barozzie

Wedding HostessesElaine Friberg

Janice Fix

Amy VanBezooijen

Lynn Murphy

APPENDIX

Policy for Wedding Photographers/Videographers/Limousine Drivers

The Presbyterian Church of Toms River, Toms River, NJ

732-349-1331

(A separate copy of this policy will be supplied to couples by the church office, for distribution to photographers/videographers/limousine drivers) :

STILL PHOTOGRAPHERS:

Before the ceremony: During the Prelude(s) and Seating of the Mothers the official wedding photographer may take flash photographs providing that the photographer proceed no farther into the Sanctuary than the 10th pew from the narthex. (See accompanying diagram.)

During the Ceremony: Beginning with the Processional and continuing through the Benediction, no flash photographs may be taken.

During the Recessional: Following the pronouncement of the Benediction, the wedding photographer may take flash photographs of the Recessional, again providing that the photographer remain in the designated area no farther than the fifth pew from the entrance. Following the Recessional and the Postlude(s), the photographer is welcome to gather the wedding party in the Chancel area for a photo session.

After the Ceremony: Posed pictures after the ceremony should be conducted as quickly as possible. No longer than thirty minutes will be permitted.

VIDEOGRAPHERS: In the Sanctuary:

The wedding videographer may sit/stand in the choir loft and operate the video camera from that location (see accompanying diagram).

In BOTH the Sanctuary and Chapel: Videographers are required to use only the available Sanctuary or Chapel lighting; no extra lighting is permitted.

Photographers/videographers who sign the Statement of Compliance and do not comply will not be approved/permitted to participate in wedding ceremonies at The Presbyterian Church of Toms River in the future.

LIMOUSINE SERVICES

The Groom and Groomsmen are to arrive 45 minutes prior to the wedding. The Bride and her attendants are to arrive 30 minutes prior to the wedding and are to be dropped at the north entrance (by the choir room). Our church wedding hostess will greet the Bride and her party and the driver will remain with the car.

OUR CHURCH POLICY IS THAT THERE IS TO BE NO ALCOHOL

SERVED WHILE ON CHURCH PROPERTY.

THE PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH OF TOMS RIVER

Sanctuarv Diagram for Photographers and Videographers

(See accompanying "Policy for Wedding Photographers/Videographers")

X - Location from which a still photographer may take photographs prior to the Processional

and after the beginning of the Recessional.

O -Location from which a videographer may operate a video camera.

Date to Be Returned to Church: ______

THE PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH OF TOMS RIVER

1070 Hooper Avenue

Toms River, NJ 08753