Should we visit the family or save money?

The modern-day family structure is vastly different from that of our parent’s generation. It is now practically the norm to have families scattered all over the globe. The challenge is for families to stay connected, and to keep a balance, both financially and emotionally.

Here’s a classic case:

The parents: Mary and Tom have two children living beyond South Africa’s borders. As they head for the last few years of their working life, they are challenged by family-related questions. Do we sell up and follow the children? Do we save our bonus this year for our retirement or take a trip to see our new grandchild? How do we fill the empty nest years when the birds have flown so far away?

The children: Sam and Linda live in London. They are young, starting out in life and exploring the globe while holding down great jobs that will enhance their CVs. Though they miss home and family they are uncertain whether they will return and settle in South Africa. Their first baby is on the way and they are excited that their parents will be visiting over the holidays. They are also keenly aware that, instead of putting money away, they have to use their savings to help fund their parents’ air tickets.

Managing such situations, both financially and emotionally, is challenging. Use these tips to help stay connected with your global family:

Tap into technology: Like webcams, Skype and Facebook. This will keep you connected with conversations that allow you to feel (almost) like you are all around the same kitchen table.

Blog this Consider: Starting a family blog that allows all family members to upload pictures and stories that hold together the fabric of family life.

Travel piggy bank Put some money aside each month into a special travel fund so you do not feel the pain of spending one lump sum around bonus time.

Get involved: Yes, there is life beyond children. Become purposefully involved and ensure you do not spiral into depression.

Friends are your new family: Cherish the ones you have and try and expand your circle of friends. They are invaluable as we get older and our families are far away.

Have travel goals: Always make sure you have something to look forward to. Plan those visits and reunions – it will give you a focus.

Beware of emotional emigration: If you’re thinking about following your children to the other side of the world, think twice. “Did your retirement planning factor in a number of international moves, with resultant costs and currency risks?” asks xx from Liberty Life.

Make memories: Make a conscious choice to actively use rituals and celebrations to create family memories. Laughter, time and memories are the soul food that helps families to survive this new global trend.

This may not be the “dream” we signed up for, with so many of us living in far-flung places. But use the opportunities that technological changes have brought and embrace the new. Family is one of the most important institutions on the planet. We may not all be in the same place at the same time but building memories, staying connected and supporting one another can be done at a distance. It just takes a positive mindset, time and learning a few new skills.

You are the storyteller of your own life. You can create your own legend or not - author Isabel Allende

Balance your priorities
Ensure you have your own savings and risk profile on track and balance this with seeing parts of the world and experiencing life in a way that may not have been part of your earlier plan. / Create family memories
Make a conscious choice to actively use rituals and celebrations to create family memories. Certain things make families unique: the size of the family, values, religion and favourite holiday destinations. / Did you know?
Definition of a Third Culture Kid (TCK): A person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents' culture. The TCK builds relationships to all of the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture are assimilated into the TCK's life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of similar background. (Pollock and Van Reken 2001)

05 November 2010

Max Reineke AFP, Dip, Fin Mgt

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