Lawyers
They start picking the jury for the O.J. Simpson trial tomorrow. I hope O.J. is innocent. I don’t think he’s innocent but I hope he is. And you know something? If I was on the jury, I could be absolutely fair. Fair jurors are not what the lawyers want, though.
And it’s the lawyers who bother me most. In this trial, for instance, are they trying to find out whether O.J. murdered two people or are they trying to find out which lawyer is smartest?
It’s as if the facts in the case don’t matter at all. It’s which lawyer is cleverest at obscuring the truth. I might find one of the lawyers guilty if I was on the jury.
The lawyers are too important in this trial and they’re too important in our lives. Laws should be written simply enough so we could all understand them without hiring a lawyer every time we turn around.
There are plenty of good lawyers. I have a lawyer I’d trust with my life but there are too many bad ones. The good lawyers should do something about the bad ones. There are more bad lawyers than bad doctors.
There are some questions I’d like to ask about lawyers.
For instance, if a defense lawyer knows his client is guilty of murder, does he try to get him off anyway?
If a lawyer believes his client is innocent, why should he be afraid to let his client testify?
And another question: How come so many lawyers get rich on personal injury cases that cost all of us a fortune in taxes and insurance?
The lawyers encourage people to say they got hurt so they can get rich suing someone. But it’s the lawyers who get rich.
They all say they won’t charge if they don’t collect.
There are lawyers who specialize in suing doctors for malpractice. The American Medical Association says that 53,000 doctors got sued for malpractice last year.
I asked the American Bar Association how many lawyers got sued for malpractice? You know what they told me? They said they don’t keep track.
Is that a typical lawyer’s answer? You can bet it wasn’t 53,000. It’s hard to get a lawyer to sue another lawyer.
We have 200,000 more lawyers in the Country than we have doctors. It’s enough to make you sick.
From Andy Rooney, Years of Minutes, pp. 283-284.
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