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The Evolution of Reflection
While the second hand of the watch seems to mock you with each calculated tick, the wait seems eternal. Within the churning mass of people, homicide is entertained by each while jockeying for the next open position. Passing through the gate, stepping over the tracks, then finding that one special seat you have been eyeing all day. The bar drops over the seat, that deep breath is slowly drawn, and then it’s over. Life can easily be compared to that favorite roller coaster ride as we rotate through endless cycles of anticipation, execution, and gratification. While choosing a story that could mirror some of my own life events, John Updike’s “A&P” seems to capture the essence of the different scenes that have transpired. Updike’s main character shows how being naïve and innocent can sometimes lead to a life lesson that shall not be soon forgotten. Regardless of the reasons why the decision was made, sometimes the decision makes the person.
Like Updike’s lead character, I too held what could be called a “menial” job at about the same age. Ironically, I felt the same way about some of the rude and demanding customers that frequented my workplace just like the writer’s character. Sam, the author’s person of focus states, “…a witch about fifty…and no eyebrows…” (Updike 615). Naturally at that young age, the opposite sex is something that just doesn’t go unnoticed. I fumbled more than one order trying to catch the eye of a cute girl. The same happens to Sam while at the cash register. Updike further writes “I stood there with my hand on the box…trying to remember if I rang it up…” (617). Reading this passage forced a chuckle I as imagined myself doing the same.
In the course of my job, my view of the customers became somewhat jaded. I didn’t really respect the customers, but I was polite simply because I needed to be. The character Sam also has similar issues. Sam is quoted giving a degrading comparison, “The sheep pushing their carts…” (Updike 616). As time progressed, the lack of respect for people grew from just the customer base to almost everyone I had contact with on a daily basis. This same correlation is made in “A&P” when the narrator states, “…and about twenty seven freeloaders…up Central Street…” (Updike 616). Knowing my thoughts about people during this period in my life, I can only be thankful others did not treat me the same.
The combination of youth, poor overall attitude, and a knack for being condescending to people makes for very poor decision making ability. My impulsiveness finally showed itself when the supervisor that had just corrected me received my version of a counter correction. In the story, the young register clerk also gives a piece of his mind to the supervisor saying “You didn’t have to embarrass them” (Updike 618). Impulsiveness is a trait that is better left alone, as I have learned by experience. After the altercation with my supervisor, I ended up quitting, and basically for no better reason other than not liking what had happened in a moment in time. Sadly, Updike’s story line followed suite when Sammy pronounced “I quit” (618). The fact that I said the same words at a similar time in my life makes this hit home even harder.
At the time this happened, the business owner tried speaking to me rationally after the supervisor coaching incident. Of course I would hear none of it. The manager in “A&P” tried the same thing for Sammy, by stating “Sammy, you don’t want to do this to your Mom and Dad” (Updike 618). It wasn’t until after I arrived home and tried to explain my version to my parents. At that point, I learned one of the most valuable lessons of my childhood. There are consequences for every action. Updike captures this idea in the last line of the story by writing “…I felt how hard the world was going to be to me hereafter” (619). I could only imagine how I would view my actions in the future about the day this transpired.
As I look back and reflect on what transpired, my first thought is to call myself a dumb kid for quitting. At the time this happened however, I lacked the experience and maturity to fully grasp the consequences of my actions. As we go thru life, we use these lessons as a guide: to not only think about what we are doing, but to understand the impacts our actions will take on our lives. As I reflect on what has been written in this essay, I can only agree that youth is wasted on the young.
Work Cited
Updike, John “A&P”. Making Literature Matter. Fifth Edition. 2012.
614-619. Print.