WINSLOW PETE
ARCHIE CHARLIE
MOM TREVOR
THE DETECTIVES: BABYSITTER NIGHTMARE
(Opening Scene: The office, ARCHIE and WINSLOW)
(PROPS: table with computer)
WINSLOW: What cases do we have today, Archie?
ARCHIE: Well, we have the case of Trevor Rogers. It seems that his mother needs someone to watch him while for a little while so she can go shopping.
WINSLOW: Archie! That's not a case; that's a babysitting job!
ARCHIE: You're right, inspector, but we don't have any cases to work on today, so I answered an advertisement just to give us a little extra work.
WINSLOW: Well, I suppose it's better than nothing. When do we start?
ARCHIE: At 3:00 today.
WINSLOW: At least we'll have some easy work for a change.
(ARCHIE and WINSLOW)
(Scene Two: At the house, MOM is at center-stage)
(PROPS: same as in SCENE 1, only add a box of cupcakes to the table)
MOM: Now you had better be on your best behavior, young man.
TREVOR: (back stage) But, mom! Why do I always have to be on my best behavior? That's no fun!
MOM: I'll fix your dinner when I get home at 6:00, and I'd better get a good report from these nice men who have agreed to babysit you. Do you understand?
(TREVOR ENTERS)
TREVOR: Yes, mom. Have you guys ever done any babysitting before?
WINSLOW: This is our first babysitting case.
TREVOR: Case?
ARCHIE: Don't mind him, Trevor. Inspector Winslow and I are detectives. We're used to working on detective cases. That's why he said, "case."
TREVOR: Oh. I thought it was because he's a nutcase.
WINSLOW: I heard that, young man!
TREVOR: Oh. I guess your hearing is pretty good.
WINSLOW: Yes it is. But never mind that. What have you got to say for yourself for calling me a nutcase?
TREVOR: I guess I owe you an apology.
WINSLOW: Yes, you do.
TREVOR: But I'm all out of apologies today, so I'll give you one tomorrow. Right now it's time for computer games and a little snack.
(TREVOR takes a cupcake, sits down behind the computer and begins to play games).
WINSLOW: (steaming) Archie, I don't like that kid!
ARCHIE: Relax, inspector. Remember, God loves all people, even people who don't know him yet.
WINSLOW: You're right, of course. I need to calm down. Maybe this babysitting job isn't going to be as easy as I thought. Hey, let me borrow your magnifying glass for a minute.
ARCHIE: Okay, here.
(ARCHIE hands it to WINSLOW, who begins to examine everything in the room)
ARCHIE: Uh, would you mind telling me what you're doing, inspector?
WINSLOW: I'm looking for clues.
ARCHIE: But this is a babysitting job. You don't have to look for clues when you babysit someone's kid.
WINSLOW: Why not?
ARCHIE: Because there's no mystery to investigate.
(TREVOR quietly exits at this point)
ARCHIE: There's just one kid, playing video games on the computer.
(without looking, ARCHIE gestures with his hand outstretched toward TREVOR, who is no longer there)
WINSLOW: Uh, Archie?
ARCHIE: Yes?
WINSLOW: You're not going to believe this . . . Trevor's gone.
ARCHIE: Oh, no! Trevor! Trevor!
(ARCHIE begins to look around the place for Trevor, while WINSLOW continues to use the magnifying glass).
WINSLOW: Archie, come here and take a look in the magnifying glass.
(ARCHIE comes and takes a look)
WINSLOW: What do you see?
ARCHIE: Just some crumbs.
WINSLOW: Not just any old crumbs. Fresh chocolate cupcake crumbs! And they're right next to the back door. That can only mean that our boy has snuck out of the house! Now we have to look in the neighborhood for him.
(WINSLOW and ARCHIE EXIT)
(Scene Three: Neighborhood scene)
PROPS: basketball
(TREVOR ENTERS from the hall, dribbling a basketball, and meets two boys in the back of the room)
TREVOR: Pete! Charlie! You've got to hide me real quick! Two dumb babysitters are after me.
PETE: What will you give us if we hide you?
TREVOR: I'll let you have some of the money I stole from my mom's purse. We can go to the store and buy some candy. Come on, you guys!
CHARLIE: Okay, it's a deal. Hide behind us.
(TREVOR hides)
(WINSLOW ENTERS with ARCHIE)
WINSLOW: Excuse me . . . have you seen a boy about this tall (hand gesture), with black hair.
PETE: Yeah, we saw him just a minute ago.
CHARLIE: He was running pretty fast.
WINSLOW: Oh, good! Which way did he go?
BOYS: He went that way (they both point in opposite directions).
WINSLOW: (confused) Uh, thanks. Archie, you go this way, and I'll go that way (WINSLOW points in opposite directions, like the boys did).
(ARCHIE and WINSLOW each walk slowly and suspiciously down the opposite aisles, until they nearly bump at the point of front center stage)
WINSLOW: Well, great. It sure looks like we've lost him. We're going to be in big trouble.
ARCHIE: Now what do we do?
WINSLOW: Well, it's almost 6:00. Mrs. Rogers should be home very soon. We can't let her come home to an empty house. She'll freak out! We've got to get back to her house and tell her what happened. What a great couple of detectives we are! We got tricked by a kid.
(ARCHIE and WINSLOW EXIT by walking up the center audience aisle and out the entrance door).
(Scene Four: At the house, ARCHIE and WINSLOW come rushing inside frantically. TREVOR is already seated at the table, behind the computer)
ARCHIE: Inspector, he's here!
WINSLOW: All right! We finally found Trevor!
TREVOR: You didn't find me. I came back on my own just so you guys wouldn't get in trouble with my mom. Since this is your first time babysitting me, I decided to go easy on you. I won't be this nice next time.
ARCHIE: Inspector, I don't like that kid.
WINSLOW: Calm down, Archie. Remember, God loves everyone, even people who don't know him yet.
ARCHIE & WINSLOW: God even loves people like Trevor!
THE END