It’s the waiting itself that transforms

My strategy as a Generator is “wait to respond”. When I began my experiment I was waiting for something. I had so many ideas of what that something was. I really thought I knew what was meant for me to live back in those days. It was really hard to wait as I was a real “go getter” for 45 years before Ra told me to wait to respond. All those ideas that filled me – all the hopes and dreams that I would be asked to do this or do that .... only in reflection do I see it was my mind that thought it knew. I had stopped initiating and the energy that was accumulating inside of me was almost unbearable. I had never realized how much I had dissipated my energy by initiating until I stopped. Sometimes I thought I would explode. I was intently waiting to be asked to do something – anything – that my sacral could respond to. I wanted desperately to use my energy.

Waiting is a real pressure cooker especially when we just begin the experiment. No one is used to waiting. No one wants to wait. Waiting drives most people crazy – all you need to do is observe people stuck in traffic or on line in a store. Not many people can just relax in moments where waiting is called for. The truth is most people hate to wait. The mind screams at having to wait. It tells us that there are so many things that have to be done and then this makes the body gets anxious and stressed out. It is truly a disease. “Dis” - a prefix - means to reverse or undo. There is no “ease”.

When you look at humanity, it is rushing here and there. There is no “ease” and there is no relaxation. In the 1970’s when I first began going to India, no one even heard the word meditation. Now it is a common word and more and more people meditate. But what happens when that person goes back into humanity? I know for myself that I tried to stay in that space but with no way to navigate and move through life, I fell into the old patterns so quickly. There was no way to get out of the old pattern. This is what Strategy gave me - it gave me a way to get out of the old patterns of behavior.

Waiting is in and of itself an end. It is not about what comes from the waiting. Waiting itself is the secret. I think this word is the hardest thing for new people to hear when they learn about their strategy: wait to respond, wait for an invitation, wait 28 days, wait for emotional clarity. These different types of waiting make up about 94% of humanity. Can you imagine how the planet would change if people actually lived according to their strategy? Can you imagine how the vibration would change?

It all begins with waiting. This is the one thing the almost everyone’s mind grabs hold of – when they first hear they are supposed to wait. The mind screams, “nothing will happen if I just wait”. But for me, the truth revealed itself and I see it so differently. I called my first website “The Secret of Waiting” . My truth is “everything will happen if you just wait”. But most likely it won’t be what you want to have happen or think should have happen. But that will not matter because the waiting changes something deep within. And all the things we “think” we are here to do or are hoping we are asked to do – are inconsequential in comparison to what happens inside.

It is the waiting that begins to change something deep within you. We hear seven years and feel for sure that this won’t apply to us because we have done so much work on ourselves or we have meditated. The bottom line is we really don’t want to wait – for anything – even waiting for our true nature to reveal itself.

Human Design gives no guarantees or promises. This is not saying that if you live out your own nature, you're going to be the wealthiest or the most beautiful. It is not about being better or best. Those kinds of things we desire are based on measuring and measuring comes from the mind. Human Design is about being yourself. Just knowing the simple mechanics can make a vast difference in your life. The difficulty is that Human Design goes to such a degree of depth – gives such amazing details about the nature of who you are – that one can become fascinated with all of this. And the mind loves to be fascinated and it just wants to know more and more. It then can say “I am this” or “I am that”. There are so many subleties – so many layers. If it is only the mind, there can be no transformation. It is the living of the experiment – knowing the surface mechanics – knowing Strategy and Authority and exploring living life from that as the foundation – it is this that makes a difference in your life and in your relationships.

Strategy and Authority are essential truths and they are so simple because they are mechanical. The moment we try to interfere with how we are meant to operate, the moment we allow our minds to interfere – to make decisions - we end up suffering. We end up having a life of confusion, chaos, and pain. We never get to be comfortable and enjoy the ride. We never get to have honest and respectful relationships with other human beings.

Human Design is an incredible system of knowledge. It is so accurate it is almost scary. But it is not just another system to learn. This is not a mental process. If it were mental, it would simply be the mind believing something and then in a sense adopting a 'new conditioning' or 'mental concept' in which to live by. No, this is not a mental change. This is a cellular change and that is why it takes time. Strategy and Authority are meant to take away all the conditioning – not give another form of conditioning. It is about being given the opportunity to do something with the knowledge. It is about being able to be able to act on it and experiment with its logic. And it starts with the simple: waiting.

There is an aliveness than can only come when you are relaxed in who you are. There is absolutely no relaxation when you are trying to be someone you are not. But waiting is not easy. For me it was the most difficult thing I ever tried in my life. There was all this energy inside wanting to go in its usual patterns of moving outwards towards something – initiating something. There was my mind having tantrums left and right – telling me I would never survive if I just waited. There was the torment of my own boredom where in the past I would just go do anything so I wouldn’t feel bored.

But through all of that - on the other side was an incredible surprise: being. At some point in the process, waiting dissolved into being. Being is a state of deep relaxation within oneself. It is an alive state – very alive. It is when the passenger is present in the back seat no longer even wanting to interfere with the ride. The passenger is deeply comfortable in the back seat and totally content to observe life unfold with no desire to interfere.

I love this cartoon. It says so much, doesn’t it?

I used to be so full of all the “important” things I had to do and achieve. It makes me smile so much now looking back on who I was and what I was living before Human Design .... before waiting.

Mary Ann Winiger