A child learns respect when their parents treat them respectfully through their words and actions and when parents expect their child will treat them and others with respect. Children form beliefs about their own self worth, how lovable and valuable they are based on the responses they get from parents both verbally and by their actions. For a child to treat a parent with respect, the parent first needs to respect himself or herself. Parents who respect and value themselves become a positive role model for their child.

Parents can show respect for themselves by:

·  Being positive about themselves and others.

·  Maintaining a sense of fun and humour to keep things in perspective.

·  Developing interests and strengths. If parents feel happy this then passes onto their children.

·  Taking time out to renew their strength and patience.

·  Remembering we are all human, we all make mistakes and the important thing is we can learn from our mistakes. Also at times having the strength to admit we were wrong and say sorry also teaches children to admit when they are wrong.

·  Learning to manage their feelings: anger, guilt, anxiety and deal with issues in constructive ways.

·  Listening to children’s views and opinions but not allowing children to be verbally or physically abusive to them.

Babies and small children don’t naturally show respect to others. It is normal and healthy for young children to be self–centered. Parents can begin to teach young children how to treat parents and others respectfully through their words and actions.

Parents can teach children how to respect others by:

·  Showing children you love and value them, which in turn shows children how to care for others. “You feel sad you can’t go, come on we’ll do something“.

·  Letting children know you appreciate their efforts teaches children how to appreciate others “Thanks for putting the dishes away”.

·  Using helpful words that describe the behaviour you want rather than using put downs or disrespectful words. “Pick your clothes up off the floor” is respectful communication, whereas put downs such as “You’re a slob” attacks the child rather than the behaviour you want to change.

·  Avoiding behaviour that lowers your own dignity or your child’s.

·  Teaching children social skills, such as, saying good morning, taking turns and being a good sport.

·  Setting clear family rules about how people are to be treated. “In this house we speak to one another nicely/respectfully.” “In this house we do not hit or hurt others” If children break the rules there is a consequence, which has been discussed prior to an incident. A three-year-old who hits their two-year-old sister may be told “I know you are angry because your sister took your doll but you do not hit. Now you’ll have to go and sit by yourself on that cushion for five minutes.” If two school age children are hitting one another over the television they may both have to miss out on television for an hour. Consequences will depend on the age of the child and the behaviour.

For a complete list of Regional Parenting Service articles go to the City of Greater Geelong website www.geelongaustralia.com.au/community/family/services/article/8cbc84b53070368.aspx