Hannah Montana Satire – Devon Henderson
Pre-teen sensation Miley Cyrus, more commonly known as Hannah Montana, announced a world-wide Best of Both Worlds tour last October and since then, ticket sales have been through the roof. Many professional scalpers have been buying tickets at regular price and then selling them online for upwards of $2,000. One six year old in Texas - let’s call her Suzie - even wrote a fake essay about her father dying in Iraq to win tickets to the show. Unfortunately, when the company holding the contest learned that the essay was a lie, they took the tickets away from the little angel. This is an outrage.
Many blame the mother for her six-year old daughter’s actions. They believe that she is an out of control pageant mom who forced the child’s hand to write the essay so that she would be a lock to win. Well I ask, what’s wrong with that? If junior wants to go to a concert, it is the parent’s obligation to ensure their offspring’s happiness. Whatever little Suzie wants, little Suzie should get; that’s parenting at its best. After all, the alternative is much worse. Either Mom forces her daughter to crush the competition with her heart-wrenching essay or Mom unfairly makes her daughter wait in line with lesser-beings and then just accept defeat on the ticket front like everyone else. Disgusting.Honestly, that doesn’t make sense. Suzie is far superior to the other children, and her little white lie didn’t hurt anyone.
On that note, the alleged “lie” wasn’t even that bad to begin with. Pretending that your dad died in Iraq is completely fair when there are Hannah Montana tickets at stake. After all, it’s not like people are actually dying in Iraq and their families are suffering at home. Even if that was true, I’m sure the families in question would understand what Suzie was going through; she must have suffered more than they would understand.
Furthermore, where is the proof that mom made Suzie write the essay? Everyone else should just accept that Suzie is a genius and a brilliant writer who won the hearts of the Hannah Montana’s Most Excellent and Intellectual World Tour committee. Obviously, no one has considered the possibility that Suzie’s mom didn’t even know that her daughter was entering the contest because she was far too busy reading a very enticing Russian novel. Just because the other lame kindergarteners weren’t intelligent enough to think of an essay topic like Suzie’s doesn’t mean that Suzie should be punished. After all, it’s not her fault that the other kids wrote about how much they love Hannah Montana or what they did last summer; they just weren’t original enough.
Clearly, some people just don’t understand the affect that the poetic lyrics of Hannah Montana have on her fans. The theme song to her TV show alone speaks to the hearts of millions. If something meant that much to you, and has had such a significant impact on your life, would you not do what Suzie did? Don’t forget, Suzie is better and far more deserving than the other kids. Because really, what did the other kids do? Pay with their own money?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA…..ridiculous….