Flea Circus Intro

“CHIMP HAS FLEAS!” 4 min.

For the “Hands-Free” Chimp

WRITTEN AND PERFORMED BY: STEVE AXTELL

MUSIC SOUND EFFECTS AND ENGINEERING BY: GREG JACKSON

RECORDED AT: TREEHOUSE PRODUCTIONS and AXTELL ENTERTAINMENT

LEGAL NOTICE: By purchasing this routine you have the right to perform this routine and its musical components in live performances only. Not for use on television or on Video Productions without written permission. Limited Warranty of 3 weeks to replace damaged media. No refunds on electronic media.

PAUSES HAVE BEEN LEFT IN THE RECORDING TO ANTICIPATE AUDIENCE LAUGHTER

YOU CAN MODIFY THE (YOU) LINES TO FIT YOUR PERSONALITY. REWRITE AND BE CREATIVE!

SOUND ADVICE: You can perform this routine by playing the mp3 on a quality "boom box" portable stereo player in small areas, or over a professional sound system in large areas such as an auditorium or outside.

The mp3 should be played with plenty of volume. Kids will be laughing hard and will miss the routine if it is too quiet, and adults may keep laughter to a minimum for fear of missing parts of the program. The sound volume should be set about the same as if you were speaking over a microphone to be heard by the group, or louder.

It is best to have the mp3 played over a public address system and have the soundman preset the volume level to be compatible with your microphone level.

You may want to pause the mp3 during your performance in case you get a large audience laugh (we hope you do) after one of the jokes. This is facilitated through the FOB.

(Chimp is excited)

C Screeching - ohhoohhhh

Y Okay, okay settle down….

C: (continues screeching)

Y: Hey, come on…I need to say something here.

C OK…Okay but…..

Y Boys and Girls, I would like to….

C (interrupts with more screeching & hooting)

Y Excuse me, (name of Chimp)!!!!!

C Sorry!

Y What are you doing?

C I’m not sure….it’s just that every once in a while I… (screeching and hooting)

Y OK…Okay now, settle down.

C I’ll try.

Y OK. Take 3 deep breaths…..

C: Three deep breaths?

Y: Yes…take one..

C Breathe

Y: …two…

C: Breathe

Y: …three.

C: Breathe…..

Y There… very good. Now are you all relaxed?

C Yes. Thanks.

Y Now tell me what’s wrong….

C (Screeching and Hooting / Starts scratching all over)

Oh wow….I just itch all over!!!!! Oooh oohhhh

Y Well, can I help you?

C Yeah…. Help me scratch!!! (Scratch his back continually)

(SONG)

Ooh, what’s this

Ooh what’s that

I’m itching all over like an alley cat! (screeching)

Something’s crawling, something’s tickling,

Something’s on me that’s got me wiggling (screeching).

Y: My goodness, is this helping (you’re scratching his back)

C: A little to the left, a little to the right,

Come on, scratch me with all your might! (screeching)

Ooh, what’s this,

Ooh, what’s that,

I’m itching all over like an alley cat! (screeching)

Y Wait a minute… I see the problem….. (pulls off flea)

C (Sigh) Oh wow…..you got it. Aghhh …. Ahhh… What was it???

Y Look at this (hold pinched fingers in front of his face)

C (Looks closely at it ) Ummm Ummmm….

Y Ummmm what?

C (looks at you) Ummmm, I don’t see it.

Y Here, look through here…. (hold a magnifying glass in front of chimps eyes)

C (looks closely then freaks) AAAAGGGHHH!!!!! What is it???

Y That my friend is…. a…. Flea!

C A flea?? What’s a flea?

Y You know, a flea.

F (flea voice nonsense) wer[ptoiwertp[oiwert w[perotiwert[poi wert[poiwepr[oit

C What did he say?

Y He said he’s sorry for tickling you.

C Oh well…. That’s okay….just don’t do it again.

F adsflkjasdflj asdpfasdlf;kjasdf q[eproqwepri

C What did he say?

Y He said he was trying to get your attention.

C Why me?

F asdl;fkasdfa wer[poiwerp[toi sd;fglksd;kgls

Y because he wanted to be in the show with you.

C You’re a show business flea?

F asdl;fkjasdlkfjasldkfj wrp[otiwepr[tio alskdflaskdjflaskdfj

Y He said….

C I heard him! Don’t you think I know a talented circus flea when I see one? Hahaahaaa. Hey so could you do some tricks for us??

F adl;kfjasdlfkj wrptwertiuiropu aaskldflaskdf;akf

Y What did he say?

C He said if you will give him a proper introduction he will do a show for us!

Y Okay, I will.

C Oh this is going to be cool…. I’m just gonna sit over here and watch this!

Y (walk with the flea over to the circus area – while chimp watches in auto-alive)

THE END