Avoid Confusing and Wordy Language

Write Concisely

Module 4: Write shorter sentences

Avoid confusing and wordy language

1. We will promptly review your proposal and provide you with a nonbinding determination of the guidance you request.

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2. If we find that the evidence you submit is convincing, we may grant a reduction in the amount of supplemental bond required.

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3. We will send to the applicant copies of any comments made by State or local governments on the applicant’s request after the comment period has ended.

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4. We periodically will publish a list of aggregation points and the associated market centers. We will monitor market activity and, if necessary, add to or modify the list of market centers and aggregation points and will publish such modifications.

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5. A performance system will allow for the development of new and innovative training techniques and methodologies and allow companies added flexibility in tailoring their training to the specific job duties of their employees.

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6. It is hoped that this workshop manual will provide a valuable resource for all our students.

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7. And now with the new Maryland standards for rating windows as well as incentive programs in certain provinces for consumers and builders using high-performance varieties, some manufacturers are working to bring their products up to the performance levels needed to qualify under the incentive programs.

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Module 4: Write shorter sentences

Break the “this and that” habit.

1. Upon approval by the Project Lead and Project Manager, smaller working groups composed of investigators, blood center, central laboratory and DCC staff, and external experts, if needed, will be formed to formalize protocol design, data collection and analysis plans, and identify issues that need clarification or resolution.

2. Children with moderate and serious impairments and disabilities will benefit from follow-up and referral aimed at reducing their severity of functional limitations.

3. The report content and structure will consist of a one paragraph abstract and an executive summary that highlights the key findings and recommendations.

4. These individuals are well positioned within the IC Agency to provide expert opinion about the contributions of the RAP program and the RAP Research Associates to the research agenda and mission of our organization.

5. ABC Corp. and our partner American Medical Informatics Association (AMIA) have established and convened a Technical Expert Panel (TEP) and an Electronic Health Record Work Group (EHRWG).

6. These proposed tools and resources are intended to enable clinicians and providers to gain greater awareness, understanding and ultimately, control over, unfavorable research conditions. ONC is currently reviewing and prioritizing these potential tools and resources to provide guidance to the AMIA team for developing a limited number of such tools under the current contract.

7. In addition to our experience developing, modifying and executing training programs for the Vanguard Study, ABC Corp. has more than 30 years of experience delivering training programs in a variety of modes and modules.

Module 5: Choose simpler words

Substitute everyday words for fancy ones

Un-plain word or phrase / Plain substitute
advantageous
all-time record high
as to whether
at the present time
commence
due to the fact that
for the purpose of
in accordance with
in order to
limited number
minimize
multiple
on a monthly basis
presents a summary of
promulgate
remuneration
since the time when
time frame
validate
Energy Information Administration Writing Style Guide (pages 11 – 13)
http://www.eia.gov/about/eiawritingstyleguide.pdf

Module 5: Choose simpler words

Practice: Look for opportunities to replace multi-syllable or bureaucratic words with simpler ones

1. / Limited availability of mental health services: Despite evidence of the need for treatment, refugee children in resettlement are unlikely to benefit from mental health services because they rarely use them. This problem is not unique to refugee children, as many recent reviews have observed that few U.S. children in need of mental health services receive care. (2)
A lack of culturally-specific services: One of the main barriers to services for refugee children and families involves lack of such services in their native language. Even when refugee children and families do seek mental health care, it is not clear to what extent existing services are well suited to the values and customs of their native culture. Thus, to increase the extent to which refugee children and families make use of mental health services and can benefit from services, culturally informed and linguistically-matched mental health services are needed. (1)
Problems with acculturation: For children, the family and school are the most important arenas where acculturation and coping take place. With respect to family relationships, it has been noted that acculturation unfolds at different rates for parents and children, creating an “acculturation gap.” Schools are also a source of potential acculturative stress for refugee children and adolescents. As they struggle with identity formation, they may experience psychological difficulties in the context of dual cultural membership (3), particularly if they are discriminated against and receive negative messages about their race and culture (4).
2. / It is important to note that neither group received standard care for children with CF who are not making optimal weight gains. Both groups received more intensive and tailored nutrition education than most CF patients and their families.
3. / The majority of older patients receive medical care in independent, primary care provider clinics, where there is no intervention or care management services available.

Module 5: Choose simpler words

4. / The combination of information technology and well-trained care managers help patients and caregivers self-manage their conditions, prioritize health care needs, prevent complications through structured health care protocols, and navigate an increasingly complex health care system.
5. / The navigator identifies eligible clients, helps clients navigate the health and social service system, seeks to ensure that each client has a designated health care home, works to overcome system barriers to needed services, assists with coordination of care provided by agencies serving the target population, and tracks outcomes as part of an effort to strengthen the community’s system of health care and social services.
6. / There can be significant variation in the goals of the patients and the roles of the care managers. While there are protocols for the management of specific diseases, patients often have more holistic concerns about the quality of their lives and health. The more time managers spend in face-to-face meetings with patients to discuss services, education, motivation and address barriers, the better the health outcomes for patients.
7. / Information technology is leveraged extensively to facilitate and improve teamwork and communication between health care providers and specialists, and to target information appropriate for each specific individual.
8. / Because implementation costs are significant, it is crucial to obtain administrative support for development; highlighting enhanced patient safety and quality of care can help sell the idea.