Vocabulary 8

deafenhollypermitspraindecision

holyperplexsprawlpetroleumspun

angelhorizonpetticoatspurankle

horriblephilosophersputterantelopehorror

I just read the most horrible book. It was a horror story. I generally do not read scary stories, but someone highly recommended this book, and so I made the decision on the spur of the moment to read it. I cannot believe I wasted all that time reading such a silly story. Please permit me to tell about this ridiculous book.

When the story begins, a man stumbles into a small town while hiking a large mountain. It seems to be good luck when the hiker finds the town, because he has just tripped on a tree stump that caused him to go sprawling down a small incline. The hiker has apparentlysprained his ankle. Actually, finding that town was anything but lucky for the hiker. After his fall, the hiker meets this philosopher who seems to be very helpful. He is a professor at a nearby college, and he offers the hiker a ride into town so that he can get medical treatment for his ankle. While in the car, the philosopher starts saying all these perplexing things to the hiker. He tells the hiker that he hopes his guardian angel is watching over him, and that he hopes the hiker brought along some holy water—really weird.

The hiker doesn’t know how to respond to the things the philosopher is saying, and he is more than happy to just get out of the car. He walks down the street looking for a doctor. All of a sudden he runs into a web that a spider hasspun, and the web begins to stick to him. Then he hears this deafening noise. He looks out over the horizon and sees an antelope. As he is wrestling with this web, the antelope starts running toward him. Right before the antelope reaches him he passes out.

The smell of petroleum brings him back into consciousness. He slowly awakens and realizes that he is dressed in a petticoat, tied to a post, with a holly wreath around his neck. The petroleum smell is coming from a circle of fire that seems to be quickly closing in on him. He begins to cough and sputter from the nearing clouds of smoke. Then the clouds of smoke turn into swarms of killer bees. Needless to say, things do not end well for the hiker. There are so many unanswered questions left for the reader at the end of this book. Reading it is truly a waste of time.