What is Verbal Abuse?

Verbal abuse is when a person uses words to attack, hurt or injure another person. Also, if a person uses those words to gain power and control over another, or to persuade that person to believe something that is untrue or harmful to them.

Examples of Verbal Abuse:

  • Withholding information and not listening empathetically
  • Contradicting what the other has to say
  • Discounting verbal abuse as a joke
  • Blocking & diverting so the victim doesn’t get to discuss what he/she wants
  • Accusing & blaming the victim unfairly
  • Trivializing the victim’s thoughts, ideas & achievements
  • Undermining of the victim
  • Verbal threats: like “if you don’t change, I’m out of here”
  • Forgetting promises, agreements or previous discussions
  • Denial of the abuse
  • Abusive Anger; the need to “blow up”

What is Emotional Abuse?

Emotional Abuse has a lot in common with verbal abuse in that it is an attempt to hurt, attack, or control the victim. Emotional abuse is often used to hurt the victim, but there are other ways to abuse as well.

Examples of Emotional Abuse:

  • Domination: An environment is set up so the abuser is in control
  • Intimidation: Plays on the victim’s guilt, fear, compassion, & values to get him/her to behave a certain way even though that is not what is desired
  • Abusive expectations: Unreasonable demands are placed on the victim
  • Unpredictable responses: Drastic mood changes or sudden emotional outbursts

Effects on Children:

Emotional abuse is a pattern of behavior that attacks a child’s emotional development & sense of self-worth. It includes excessive, aggressive, or unreasonable demands that place expectations on a child beyond his or her capacity. The constant criticizing, belittling, insulting, rejecting, and teasing can be some of the forms of verbal attacks. Also, it includes failure to provide the psychological nurturing necessary for a child’s psychological growth & development – providing no love, support, or guidance.

Observable and Behavioral Indicators in Children:

  • Child rocks, sucks, bites self
  • Inappropriately aggressive
  • Destructive to others
  • Suffer from sleep, speech disorders
  • Restricts play activities or experiences
  • Demonstrates compulsions, obsessions, phobias, hysterical outbursts
  • Negative statements about self
  • Cruel to others
  • Shy, passive, compliant
  • Lags in physical, mental, & emotional development
  • Highly aggressive
  • Overly demanding

Are You a Perpetrator?

Do you…

  • Blame or put down children?
  • Act cold & rejecting?
  • Indifferent to a child’s problems or welfare?
  • Withhold affection?
  • Show preferential treatment when there is more than one child in the family?

HELP!

YWCA Women’s Shelter:

24-Hour Crisis Hot Lines- (260) 447-7233 or 1-800-441-4073

YWCA Programs: Professional Advice, Support Groups, Safe Housing, Information and Referral Service, and Women’s Shelters

Domestic Violence Education: (260) 424-4908 ext 406

YWCA Self- Sufficiency Program: (260) 424-4908 ext 266 or 256

Batterer’s Programs:

Brown & Associates Consulting- (260) 422-2930

Center for Non-violence- (260) 456-4112

Emergency Contacts:

Fort WaynePoliceDepartment- (260) 427-1222

Allen County Sheriff- (260) 449-7661

IndianaState Police- (260) 432-8661

New HavenPoliceDepartment- (260) 493-1517

Men can be victims too…do not hesitate to call!

Always Remember…

Men, women and children can be verbal and emotional abusers.

Men, women and children can be verbally and emotionally abused.

The most destructive emotional abuse is the emotional abuse we learned to inflict upon ourselves.

Sources used for the creation of this Website:

The verbal abuse and the emotional abuse sections are from a book by Patricia Evans The Verbally abusive Relationship

The children section from (National Committee for the Prevention of Child Abuse, 1987)

Art by: Kristina Barlow, Age 16