Vol 1 001 Kthru8 Front Thru TOC & Glines 2013

Vol 1 001 Kthru8 Front Thru TOC & Glines 2013

Common Questions of Parents

1) Howisthis connected tothe “SafeEnvironment” program?

Circleof Graceisthe safeenvironment programfor children/youth.The goal istohelp children/youth understandthe sacredness ofwhotheyareandhow to seekhelpwhen neededthrough their relationships with trustedadults.

2) What informationcanthis programgivemychild that they arenot gettingalready?

The Circleof GraceProgram reinforces in apeer setting that their faith communitycaresabout their safetyand wantsthem to understandhow toseek help ifthey feel unsafeforanyreason. It willhelp them identify potentially unsafe situations and knowhow to handlethem byseeking helpfrom trustedadults.

3) Youindicate that this program will provide themwith“life skills”,whatdoyou mean bythis?

It reinforcesthat theyare valued byGodandothers. It givesthem information on boundariesand practical directivesofwhat to doifsomeone makesthem feel uncomfortablewhen in their Circleof Grace. It isagood foundationfor healthyrelationshipsthat willhelp them throughout their lives.

4) Willthis program be age appropriate?

Yes! The lessons werewritten with great attention tothe stagesof childdevelopment.

5) Howcan parentssupportwhatis beingtaught intheprogram?

Parentswill receive parentlettersaswell astakehomeactivities forseveralofthelessonstodowith their children. Talkingwith your childrenabout the Circleof Graceat home willhelpyourchildren to understand the importance ofthelessons and that the lessonsapplyeverywhere,not justatschool. Additionally, you areyourchild’smost important teacherin theareaof relationships. Much ofwhat yourchildwilllearnand laterimitate about relationshipscomes from whattheylearn byyourexample. Creatinganatmosphere where theyknow that theycan talk to you about anything providesa valuable safetynet foryour child because theyknow they have you to turnto whenever they havea concern.

6) Isthere accountability attachedtothis programimplementation?

Yes! There willbeanongoingevaluationofthe program to ensure itseffectiveness and to incorporate any suggestionsthat wouldimprove the qualityofthe program.

7) Willthere beresources(people andmaterial) available if I havequestions?

Yes! There willbea parentpacket given to allparentsthat includes contact numbers.

8) Shouldn’t parents betheonesteaching theirchildrenabout sexuality?

Absolutely!ThisisNOTa sex education program. Circle of Gracewillprovide children withasound understanding of their own valueand ofGod’scareand presence in theirlives.It willalsohelpthem notice the signalsthat tell them when they do not feel safeand how to talk to atrustedadult. All ofthiswillbea goodfoundation for healthyrelationships. However,this isnota sexualityeducation program. Many parentswill appreciate that thisprogramwillprovideaspiritual frameworkthatwill allow parent‐child communication about thevalueof allthat theyare, including their sexuality. Thoseconversationsaremost effectivebetween parent and child. Thereare gradespecificParentsFirst newsletters to assist you in these conversations.

9) Isthisa mandatory program for mychild?

The UnitedStatesCatholicConferenceofBishops(USCCB)developed the Charter forProtection ofChildren and Young People. Article 12ofthisdocument statesthat eachDiocese willhave a safeenvironment programforadultsand children/youth. Ifyouhavequestionsor concerns aboutyour child participatingin the Circleof Grace Program, please contact your Director of ReligiousEducation, Principal,etc.

Parenting and Sexuality

“The Basics”

Beattentive and respectful.

Yourchildisa preciouschildofGod.Especiallyin thearea ofsexuality, you want your childrento appreciatethat they are madein the imageandlikenessofGodandthat sexuality isa gift. Yourrespectforthem asyou holdthem,bathe them, careforthem will teach them better than wordsthattheir bodiesare to be respected.Theywill learn oftheir valuein your care.When they are toldabout their Circleof Gracein religiouseducation and/or school,it helpsthem to believe thatGodiswith them andforthem because they havealready experiencedyour loveandyour care.Theywill growup knowing that they are meant to respectothersandare to expect respectfromothers.

Teachingchildrenabout their bodiesmusthappen inan age appropriate way. For young children,the best guideline isto answertheir questionsasthey arise.Tryto always connectsexuality andspiritualityin simple,shortways.IncludeGodin the answerto

help themrecognizethat sexuality issomethingspecialandcreatedby God.For older children,itmaybe necessaryto initiate discussions.Moreabout that below.

Know what you really believeand why.

It isvital that you think about what you really believe about the placeofsexuality

in humanlife andwhy. Yourownsexualhistory will considerablyinfluencehowyou feel

about sexualexpression.Ifyouwere sexually activeoutsideofmarriage, you mayfindit difficultto tell your childto waituntil marriage. Ifyou waited until marriage, you may fear that your childwill findyouwoefully outdated.Or you mayfindyou are muchmore able to explain the benefitsofwaiting untilmarriage by talking about howthat strengthened your ownmarriage.

Anticipatehowyou will respondif your childaskswhat you did.Whether ornot

you answerthe question directlydependsonyou. Someparents whowere sexually active before marriagedecideat somepoint, usually whenthechildisolder,to tell the truth. However,if you fear that telling themwill not be helpfulto them oryour relationship with them, it isnot necessaryto revealyour ownhistory. It isimportant that you considerhow your answerwill impactfuture communicationwithyour child.Beashonestasyou can, not only about your actionsbut alsoabout your feelings, thenandnow,aswell asabout

the consequencesin your ownlife andrelationships.Childrenarenaturally curiousabout

MomandDadandhowthey handledthings.

Carefully considerhowyou will explain toyour childwhy sexbelongs in marriage. It isnot enoughto justsaythat itdoes.Inadvance,makea list ofreasonswhy you believe sexbelongs in marriage. Helpingyour childrenunderstandwhy will help themto make this valuetheir own.Think about howyouwill react to questionsabout not only where babies comefrombut questionsabout oralsex,masturbation,theaunt whoisnot married with a baby, andmanyother issuesthat will arise.Thesequestionsare not just

possibilities— they are questionsevery childshouldtalk about at sometimewith their

parent(s). Ifyou ignore their initial questions,you maynot get another chance.Theywill senseyour discomfortandgo other placeswiththeir questions.

Talkoften but not necessarilylong.

Whensomethingrelated to sexuality comesup in a conversation,respond appropriately but donot take every opportunity to preachorlecture. Ifyoudo,your child will soon“tune” you out. Frequent matter offact responsesthat stateyour valueswith sensitivityto what they are concernedabout will be best.

Know their world.

Pay attentionto the environmentyour childrenlivein. Watchtelevisionwiththem. Ifthey haveaccesstothe internet, take an interest in what they enjoy.Given the many sexualizedmessagesin media,you will findmanyopportunitiesto engage your children

in conversation.Listento theirmusicwith them andtalk with themaboutwhat they enjoy.When you are in the car,allowthem to tune the radioandjustlisten. Askthem to explain songsto you, objectionableonesorwonderfulones.Something abouttalkingto MomorDadabout the musicoften teachesyoung people a great deal.It givesthem a chanceto talk about what theybelieve andit givesyou a chanceto hear it. Resistthe impulseto launchintoa lecture.Askopen‐endedquestionslike:

What doyou like about this song/movie/video? Tellmethe story ofthe song.

What doyou think of the messageofthe song/movie/video? Howdoyou think that songmakeswomen/menfeel?

Taketimewhen they want to talk.

Childrenoftenaskquestionsormakecommentsat veryinopportune times.Ifyou

are in a public place,tell your childyou willtalk later when you are alone– anddosoat the earliest opportunity. Ifyou are not in a publicplace,makeit a priority torespondas soonaspossible,preferably whenthey ask,becausethat iswhenthey are mostinterested in your answer.Ifyou feel you don’tknowhowto answer,explain what youknow and assurethemyou will think moreabout it andtalk morelater. Anddoit! Ifyou fail to comebackandfully respond,they will think you are uncomfortableandwillbe lesslikely to askyou again.

Taketime to celebratetransitions with specialtimesspent together. Growing up with the accompanyingbody changesisusually a time ofuncertainty andconfusionfor children.Having a celebrationsays,“Thisisa goodandwonderfulthing.” Behonest about your ownstruggles, fears,anddiscomfortswhen you were going through the same transitions.Childrenusually like to knowwhat it waslike foryou to go throughthe same