Unsuccessful Sickle Suicide
(Kamabara - Izumi Version)
Taro
Wife
Arbiter
WIFE Oh, how angry, how angry I am!
TARO What is this?
WIFE I'll beat you to death with this stick!
TARO Stop, please, stop!
ARBITER Ah, wait! Wait a moment!
WIFE I'll beat you to death with this stick!
TARO Stop, please, stop!
ARBITER Ah, wait! Wait a moment!
WIFE I'll beat you to death with this stick!
TARO Stop, please, stop!
ARBITER Ah, wait, wait a minute! First tell me what the matter is.
WIFE Please listen to me. All the neighbors rise up very early in the morning and go out to gather firewood. But though I tell this useless husband of mine to go, and I tie his stick and sickle together for him as you see, he says this and that, making all manner of excuses and refusing to go. Just stop and think. If he does not go to the mountain, how can we make a living. Get out of my way. I'll beat you to death!
TARO Please stop her, oh, please stop her.
ARBITER Ah, wait! Wait a moment! I will speak severely to him.
WIFE Please speak severely to him.
ARBITER With all my heart. Hey, Taro. Why do you do such an unseeming thing?
TARO You arrived just in time.
ARBITER How can you say I arrived just in time. Being chased about by your wife so often will make the neighbors talk. Why do you refuse to go to the mountain?
TARO It is not that I refuse to go to the mountain. I began making preparations this morning as you see to go to the mountain, but as no matter what I say, she refuses to give me anything to eat, there is no way I can go to the mountain.
WIFE Hey, you rascal!
TARO What?
WIFE Have you already forgotten what you ate this morning?
TARO When did I eat anything? Do you not sleep until long after dawn, then when you finally do get up, do you not run off to drink lots of tea and gossip with the neighbors?
WIFE Hey! You are the one who sleeps until long after dawn, then when you finally do get up, you run off to the neighbors' and if you find so much as a fire under a pot, you insist on them feeding you and never come back until you have gotten something to eat. Who is the one who should be ashamed, I say, who should be ashamed of themself?!
TARO I say, Somebody (name of actor playing the ARBITER), I say, just listen to her! Even wrapped up in straw matting, a man is still a man! How can the mouth of a woman spout forth such things as she has just said? Please take that stick and sickle from her.
ARBITER Do you mean that I should take that stick and sickle from her and beat her with them?
TARO Oh, no, oh, no. As she has many relatives, we cannot do anything so rash as beating her.
ARBITER Then will you go to the mountain?
TARO That I will indeed. First take that stick and sickle from her.
ARBITER With all my heart. Here, here. As he says he will go to the mountain, give that stick and sickle to me.
WIFE If that is the case, tell him to go quickly.
ARBITER With all my heart. Come, come. Go to the mountain quickly.
TARO Give that to me! Well, I must say, how vexing. How can I let a woman get by with saying the things she just said to me.
ARBITER Hey, hey, Taro. What are you doing?
TARO I am going to cut my stomach open.
ARBITER Well, I must say, what short-tempered things you say. Oh, wait! Wait just a moment!
TARO Hey, hey! I am going to cut my stomach open.
WIFE Well, I must say, what a manly thing to say. Tell him if he wants to cut his stomach open that he should just do as he pleases.
TARO Hey, Wife!
WIFE What?
TARO Now that I've made up my mind to cut my stomach open, do you think I mean to just cut it simply?! I'll show you! I'm going to cut it in a cross.
WIFE Just go ahead and cut it in a cross or in a figure eight. If you want to cut yourself, cut any way you like.
ARBITER You must not talk like that!
TARO Now get out of my way! I am going to cut myself!
ARBITER Please be patient a moment!
TARO No, no. Patient I will not be!
WIFE Here, here! You talk to him like that and he will just play upon your sympathies. Just leave him be and come along with me.
ARBITER I say, will you not desist?
TARO No, no. No matter what happens, I am going to cut my stomach open.
WIFE (To ARBITER.) Come with me, just come with me. (The WIFE drags the ARBITER off.)
ARBITER What is this? Hey, hey, Taro. Do not be so short-tempered!
TARO Oh, here, here! I am going to cut my stomach open right now! I say, Somebody, oh, Somebody! What is this? They have really gone. I say, I say, how vexing. If he wanted to stop me, I wish he had stopped me completely. Now that I am left only half stopped, what am I to do? And even though I was about ready to give in and go, I drew such a strong bow in defense that there was no way I could back down in the end. Just what am I to do now? Since I said I am going to cut my stomach open, if I do not cut it, since she is always scolding me, I will be called a fool. There is nothing left but for me to cut my stomach open. Even so, if the sickle does not cut well, I am sure it will be painful. First I will sharpen the sickle so that I can die without pain. Well, I say, as that Somebody was born and raised here, he is usually good at convincing people, but at important times like this, he is of no use at all. If he had admonished me more severely to give it up, I would not have been faced with such a difficult thing to carry out. Well, Somebody did indeed do his best to stop me, but in the end, my wife dragged him away with her. Well, I must say, what a vexing spot I'm in. Now the sickle blade is well sharpened. I will rub my stomach to soften it and somehow slip the blade in in such a manner that it will not hurt. Well, I have heard that the way to cut one's stomach open is to stab the blade in on the left and draw it across to the right. What an easy thing to do! First I will place this sickle in position to stab into my left side. Oh, how frightful, what a fright! The sickle was about to stab into my stomach. It may be just my imagination, but it seems that my stomach stings and prickles. Well, I must say, what a dangerous thing this is. No, I must not be so cowardly. I must take the plunge and die. Oh, I say, I say, Somebody! I am just now about to cut my stomach open, so won't you come out and watch me do it? Wife! I am now going to cut my stomach open! Now this is the final end! Iiiyaaa! My arm has gone stiff and the sickle refuses to approach my stomach. How can it refuse to approach?! Though I try to force it to, no matter what I do, it will not approach. I must say, cutting one's own stomach open is quite difficult. In any case, there must be some easy what to make the cut. Oh, I know. I will tie this sickle to that tree, then I will wrap my arms around the tree and hug it tight to force the blade through me. Yes, yes, this is the way to do it. Here, here, Wife! I am about to cut my stomach open! Somebody, won't you also come and watch? Now this is the final end! Iiiyaaa! Now this time, my stomach refuses to approach the sickle. How can it refuse to approach?! I will force it to approach. It goes back, but it will not come forward. Just what am I to do? Oh, I know what I'll do. I will run on to the blade from over there and die in a single instant. I say, I say, Somebody! I am just now about to cut my stomach open, so won't you come out and watch me do it? Wife! I am now going to cut my stomach open! Now this is the final end! Here goes, here goes, here goes. Oh, how frightful, what a fright! Just one step farther and that pointed sickle would have pierced right through this soft stomach. As things stand, it is very difficult to make the cut. What am I to do? Oh, how foolish, how foolish I am. It is because I can see the sickle with my own eyes that my arm goes stiff and the sickle refuses to approach. Now I know what to do. This time I will put my hands over my eyes and run on to the blade from over there and die in a single instant. I say, I say, here, here. Right here and now, this brave man is about to cut his stomach open with a sickle. Won't you all come out and watch?! Wife! I am about to cut my stomach open! Somebody, won't you also come and watch? Now since I have said I am going to do it, no matter what Somebody may say, there is no way that anybody can stop me. But, on the other hand, depending on the way someone might try to stop me, I would not be entirely adverse to giving up the idea. If you are going to stop me, now is the time! Won't you try to stop me? There is no sound of anybody being about. There is nothing else left to do. First I will press my hands securely over my eyes. Now this is the final end! Here goes, here goes, here goes. Oh, how frightful, what a fright! I was just on the verge of throwing my life away. Well, I must say, how very vexing! The more I put it off, the more I do not want to die. After all, when one cuts one stomach open, it is only when there is a crowd of spectators saying this and that and the other that one feels good about cutting one's stomach open. Today for the first time ever, there is not even anybody passing by. Dying in this manner is no better than a dog's death. For today, I will give it up. Here, here, for today, I will give up cutting my stomach open, suppress my anger, and go off to the mountain. If I should decided to die another time, first I will stab my wife to death, then I will jump right up and cut my stomach open in a cross. (Singing.)
I look this way and I see no one,
I look that way and I see no one,
If there were someone to stop me, I would not give it up,
How angry, how angry I am.
Thus rather than throwing my life away,
I will shoulder my sickle and my hatchet,
And go off to cut and gather firewood,
And go off to cut and gather firewood.
(Speaking.) Is that not Kikunjo I see, coming home from the mountain?! Well the, would you please take a message to my wife? Please tell her that I had planned to cut my stomach open, but instead I regained my temper and went to the mountain, so she should heat water for me to wash my feet when I get home. What's that? You say you'll tell her? Well, well, how unusually kind you are! When I get back home, let us get together. Fare you well, fare you well.
(Source: Shinsen Kyogen Shu, Vol. 2, 153-158, Wanya Shoten, Tokyo, 1930)
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