TROUBLED FAMILY
Genesis 37:1-11
James Dobson in his book Love Must Be Tough wrote: “Family instability affects everyone – especially the children. The most vulnerable victims of family instability are the children who are too young to understand what has happened to their parents.
That tragic impact on the next generation was graphically illustrated to me in a recent conversation with a sixth-grade
teacher in an upper middle-class California city. She was shocked to see the results of a creative writing task assigned to her students. They were asked to complete the sentence that began with the words‘I wish.’
The teacher expected the boys and girls to express wishes for bicycles, dogs, television sets and trips to Hawaii. Instead, twenty
of the thirty children made reference in their responses to their own
disintegrating families. A few of their sentences were as follows:
- “I wish my parents wouldn’t fight.”
- “I wish my father would come back.”
- “I wish my mother didn’t have a boyfriend.”
- “I wish I could get straight A’s so my father
would love me.”
- “I wish I had one mom and one dad so the kids
wouldn’t make fun of me. I have three moms
and three dads and they botch up my life.”
God designed the family to be one father and one mother
who lovingly raise their children to honor and worship God.
Background
Jacob had four wives, but his favorite was Rachel. He had ten
sons by his other three wives, while Rachel did not have one child. When he was 91 years old Rachel had a son who he named Joseph
which means “Yahweh has added.” He recognized that God had
blessed him with another son who was 30 years younger than his oldest brother Reubin.
Chuck Swindoll – “When Joseph was born, Jacob got a new lease on life. We often witness that today when men in their forties or older become fathers. When that happens, older fathers seem to gain a new incentive to rearrange their lives. Furthermore, his
great love for Joseph was underscored by the fact that he was
the child of Jacob’s beloved wife, Rachel.”
FATHER’S SPY :2
When Joseph was 17 years-old he waslearning to take care of sheep with four of his older brothers; Dan and Naphtali the sons
of Bilhahalong with Glad and Asher the sons of Zilpah.
Evil report – we are not told what evil they had done, but it could have been that they were stealing from their father though the text does not tell us so we do not know for certain.
Whatever evil they did Joseph felt he had to tell his father.
This gives us insight into his character – that he had integrity.
Integrity is doing what is right even when nobody knows.
Proverbs 10:9 NIV – Whoever walks in integrity walks securely.
Proverbs 11:3 NIV – The integrity of the upright guides them.
KJB – “upright” means doing what is right according God’s law.
In this story it is telling the truth to his father about his brothers.
Being much younger than them he could have chosen not say anything because it would only get him into trouble with them
and he had to work with them day after day.
What we clearly see is tension between Joseph and some of his older brothers which will be the theme for the rest of the story.
Application
Integrity is doing what is right even when nobody knows.
- Being honest when others don’t know the truth.
- Doing what is right not just for others so see.
- Honoring others instead of taking credit for yourself.
- Paying what you owe without cheating.
FAVORED SON :3-4
Honor :3
Love – Heb. to breath after meaning to desire or long for.
Love is demonstrated by doing something special for them.
Deut. 4:37 God loved your fathers (Abraham, Isaac, Jacob) and chose their offspringafter them and brought them out of Egypt.
Loved Joseph more – which is troubling because he had 10 other sons which God had given him over the years before Joseph.
Old age –of 90 and believed Joseph would be his last son.
Children born to their parents when they are old are seen as
a special blessing from the Lord who make them feel young.
God can choose to bless us to the very end of our life.
Many colors (NIV richly ornamented) – Heb. extremity meaning that the robe reached to the palm of the hand or the sole of the foot.
Amplified and GNB translated it – “long robe with full sleeves.”
The only other time this word is used is of the robe Tamar wore who was the daughter of King David (II Samuel 13:18,19).
It was a garment that was worn by the noble or royal class
not by ordinary people who had to work for a living.
F.B. Myer – “It describes a garment commonly worn in Egypt.
Imagine a long white linen robe extending to the ankles and
wrists and embroidered with a narrow stripe of color round
the edge of the skirt (bottom) and sleeves.”
Work clothes were a short, sleeveless tunic which left your arms and legs free to move around. You can’t work with a robe that
extends all the way down to your ankles.
Jacob was symbolically saying Joseph was special and would be
in a different class than the rest of his 10 older brothers. The robe pointedto the fact that he would receive future honor in the family.
He would not work like an average person, but have special honor.
Past failure
Jacob had not learned the lesson from the mistake his parents Isaac and Rebekah had made in loving one son over the other son.
Genesis 25:28 Isaac, who had a taste for wild game(deer, rabbit)
loved Esau,but Rebekah loved Jacob.
Because they had each loved one child more than the other the family became divided. The result was that Esau hated his brother
Jacob and wanted to kill him (27:41) so he ran away to live with his uncle and never saw his mother again.
Those who don’t learn from the past are condemned to repeat it.
God wants us to learn from the past so we don’t repeat old sins.
Romans 15:4 Whatever was written in the past was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through encouragement
of the Scriptures we might have hope.
Application
Favoritism in a family will always bring trouble because the children left out can clearly see the distinctionthat is made.
They feel like they are second class and not as important.
Be careful to treat each child fairly without showing favoritism.
Older people should live wisely with their years of experience.
The sad tale is that they can make the same mistakes younger people make if they do not make wise choices and decisions.
What is sad is that they have not learned to make godly decisions as they havegrown older and should be wiser.
Older people can be foolish with how:
- They spend the money they have earned while working.
- They show favoritism to their children or grandchildren.
- They use their energy, talents or time.
Eccl. 4:13 Better a poor wise youth than an old foolish king.
Wisdom is more important than age – anyone can be a fool.
- Ask God for wisdom to make wise decisions.
- Read Scripture to help you understand God’s truth.
Hatred :4
Hated – Heb. to view as an enemy instead of as a friend.
It is to set yourself against or to oppose someone.
Instead of being kind you are mean to them.
It is the complete opposite of loving someone.
GNB – “They could not speak to him in a friendly manner.”
Because of the favoritism which was clearly shown they became jealous and over time their jealously grew to become hatred.
Application
Jacob was wrong for clearly showing favoritism.
They were wrong for allowing jealously to become hatred.
Each person is responsible for their own actions and sins.
Ezekiel 18:20 The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father, nor the father suffer for the iniquity
of the son. The wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself.
John Calvin – “Since all are guilty through their own fault,
it follows that the son does not bear his father’s iniquity,
since he has to bear his own guilt.”
HATED BROTHER :5-11
Dream :5-7
God chose to speak to Joseph in a dream like he had done to his father Jacob years earlier (28:12). God revealed these two dreams to Joseph so that when they came to pass he would know that the events did not just happen by chance, but by God’s sovereignty.
Joseph told his brothers the dream he had which came from their everyday life. He did not tell them to make them jealous of him
because they already hated him and would not speak kindly to him.
Hatred :8
They understood the meaning of the dream that one day he would rule over them even though he was younger than all of them.
This dream gave his brothers another reason to hate him.
Hatred is the fruit of anger which comes from jealously.
Second dream :9-10
The second dream had the same meaning as the first one.
It was stated in terms of the heavens instead of the earth.
The purpose was to confirm that the first dream was real.
:10 When his father heard it he rebuked him because he did not believe the whole family would one day bow down to honor him
because after all he was the youngest of eleven brothers.
Jealously :11
Jealous (KJB envied) – Heb. to be provoked.
Rachel, who had no children, envied her older sister Leah (30:1) who had three sons: Reubin, Simeon Levi.
Jealously or envy is wanting what some else has.
Swindoll – “Jacob notice what Joseph said, but he didn’t seem
to see beyond it. I’m not sure he noticed the jealously of his
sons; or if he did, he didn’t deal with it.”
APPLICATION
Three times we are told Joseph’s brothers “hated” him (:4,5,8).
Hatred is the fruit of anger which comes from jealously.
Jerry Bridges – “Sinful jealously occurs, when we are afraid someone is going to become equal to or even superior to us.”
How can we handle the sin of jealously which leads to hatred?
1. We must recognize that God is sovereign over everything.
He gives one person an ability, gift or position which is special
to them and to another something that is totally different.
2. When we focus on what God is doing in the life of another person we lose sight of what God might be doing in our own life.
CONCLUSION
Phillips – Philippians 4:11-12I have learned to be content, whatever the circumstances may be. I know how to live when things are difficult and I know how to live when things are prosperous.