1
Manor Born 3-6
To the Manor Born 3-6
Audrey fforbes-Hamilton: You see what I mean, Wing Commander, it’s deafening!_
______!______! They can’t all be piloted by Prince Andrew!Yes, I do just remember the Battle of Britain, and Iappreciate all you did for us then, but after all there was a war on!Well look, ______I shall ring you up ______! Goodbye!
Marjory Frobisher: Honestly, Aud, ______!
Aud:Of course they have! They’re our first line of defence!I would just prefer them to ______, that’s all! We have quite enough to put up withfrom DeVere’s helicopter!
Marj:______– have you?
Aud:No –______!The estate’s going to rack and ruin and ______making money from shady business deals!
Marj:How do you know they’re shady?
Aud:______!
Marj:And all businessmen are crooks, I suppose!
Aud:______!
Marj:______!
Aud:Yes, I know, and apparently a very good one, but generally speaking, if you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the sort of people ______!
Rich:What the devil ______, Lumsden? Are you trying to split the board?
Lumsden: You should have warned me this Argentinean thing was coming up – did you know about it, Gayforth?
Rich:______! We need that refrigeration plant, Lumsden!
Lum:______! You can’t go on a spending spree in the middle of a recession!
Rich:I’ve dealt with the liquidity problem!
Lum:Ah, hah, selling the Oxford Street premises and leasing them back? That’s the first step ______to bankruptcy!
Rich:It’s standard business practice!
Lum:I think I can speak for the shareholders when I-
Rich:Shareholders? Who runs this damn company? Me or ______?
Gayforth: They are the backbone of the company!
Rich:And don’t you start, Gayforth! ______–I am the company!And I put you where you are, and ______!
Gay:What we are saying-
Lum:It’s all right, Gayforth, I’ll do it! Fact is, DeVere, that the board, not to mention the City, are not too happy with your flamboyant management style!
Rich:______, though, aren’t they?
Lum:Yeah, well profits have a habit of disappearing down the plughole when times are bad like these – then you have to ______for a bit! Now if you want this refrigeration plant, you raise the capital outside – that’s all we’re saying!
Rich:______!
Lum:Nothing personal, old boy! See you in Brock’s some time!
Rich:______!
Lum:Oh, ______!
Rich:No, I was put up – wasn’t elected!
Lum:Oh, bad luck! Mind you, ______, so did you, didn’t you, Gayforth?
Gay:______!
Lum:Seems there weren’t enough of us of the same mind!
Rich:Odd, when so many of you ______!
Aud:______, Wing Commander! Every time they go over!______? Oh, I see!You’re trying to pretend it’s ______!Erm, perhaps you should know, Wing Commander Libby, that I am the niece of an Air Vice-Marshal!Yes, I thought ______!
Marj:Which Air Vice-Marshal?
Aud:Air Vice-Marshal Hartley!
Marj:______!
Aud:He is!
Marj:______!
Aud:Used to be very useful when he was chief at the Air Ministry!We used to phone him up for the weather forecast!His brother’s still alive, Uncle Greville!
Marj:______?
Aud:No–______! He went into the City!
Marj:Oh, shame on Uncle Greville!
Aud:Well to his credit, he did stump up when I was trying to buy the Manor!
Marj:I suppose he’s absolutely stinking rich!
Aud:Oh, ______! He made a squalid million!
Marj:Honestly?
Aud:______!He erm, squandered it on loose women, then he made another million or two – all very seedy!
Marj:Oh, I wish I could find a man ______!
Aud:______, Marjory!
Marj:Oh, ______if the money was right!
Aud:______! You can’t reduce everything to pounds, shillings and pence!
Marj:______!
Aud:Well whatever it is it’s merely money!
Marj:Oh Isee! If money’s converted into stately homes and ______and paintings, then it’s acceptable, is that it?
Aud:That’s not money, ______! Quite different!
Marj:I’ve never noticed you protesting when your dividends arrived!
Aud:______. I’ve had to sell my last share!
Marj:Oh, so that’s why you’re so anti ______!
Aud:Well I can see that ______, it’s just that the fforbes-Hamiltons have never found it congenial!
Marj:Well what about Uncle Greville?
Aud:Oh, he’s not a fforbes-Hamilton, he’s a Hartley, ______!
Marj:______?
Aud:______! They say he had an account at Caxton Hall!
Greville Hartley: Oh, hello, Lumsden!
Lum:Evening, Hartley!
Grev:Collected any good directorships lately?
Lum:Ha ha ha, ______!
Grev:Got any swaps?
Lum:Ho, ho, ho!
Grev:Mine are all so dull!
Lum:Eh, what, Gayforth, Cavendish Foods – Greville Hartley!
Grev:Cavendish? That’s ______, isn’t it?
Gay:______!
Grev:Ho, ho, feel sorry for you in that set up! Igather there’s a shake up coming!Still, ______!Oh, er, my niece! ______?Well, enjoyed meeting you! Come on, my dear!
Lum:Never known a man with ______!______!
Grev:Hello, Leamington!
Brigadier Leamington: Evening, Hartley!
Grev:Don’t often ______!
Brig:Country member these days! ______for the cricket– er, Lord’s, you know! Oh, er, ______!
Grev:______!
Brig:______!Well, got to rush! Don’t want to miss the cricket highlights!
Grev:Oh, ______, is she, your niece?
Brig:Yes, very! ______?
Grev:______! No, diamonds seem to be her hobby at the moment!Well, ______!
Lum:Club’s gone to the dogs ______!
Gay:Oh, I don’t know – makes the place a bit livelier!______, you know!
Lum:Yes, I know! Jumbo Powell’s daughter’s there– she’s doing frightfully well! ______!
Gay:Yes - how did Hartley know about Cavendish?
Lum:Oh, he was flying a kite! Mind you, one word from him can ______!
Gay:Worth a bit, is he?
Lum:______!He’d have a lot more if he wasn’t such an elitist!
Gay:______?
Lum:Oh, old school, who you know, ______!
Gay:I thought ______!
Lum:Did you really vote for DeVere?
Gay:At the board meeting?
Lum:No, no, ______!
Gay:Oh, here? Well-
Lum:Nor did I!Slippery customer! Do you think he’s losing his grip?
Gay:Spends a lot of time swanning off to ______in the heli!
Lum:Yes – damned helicopter! Too flamboyant –______!
Gay:______!
Lum:That doesn’t give the City ______either!
Gay:Are your people going to pull the plug on him?
Lum:Oh, we’ve only got to ______and the bank, too – boardroom shake ups –______!
Gay:______?
Lum:______, Gayforth?
Gay:Thirty nine!
Lum:That house in Esher ______, eh?
Gay:Of course if called upon, ______!
Lum:Has to be you– right background, ______– and you’d look ______!
Aud:Won’t be in for tea, Brabinger! Going to take Bertie for ______!
Brabinger: Very good, madam!
Aud:Oh, Wing-commander Libby, please! Mrs fforbes-Hamilton! Getting very tired of the RAF, Brabinger!
Brab:______, madam!It’s Mr DeVere’s helicopter!
Aud:Oh, hello, Wing-commander! ______?
Rich:... those who are here. First, a capital investment programme of this size is modest, when set against possible expansion– oh, no! No, when set against the potential expansionof sales and profits!
Aud:Richard!______?
Rich:No! ______!
Aud:What are you doing?
Rich:I come up here when I want to be –______!
Aud:How funny! ______!Did you know it was called “Peregrine’s Folly”?It’s named after Peregrine fforbes-Hamilton. He was a sailor, ______! On a clear day, he could see the fleet at Lyme Regis!He’d spend the morning fighting Napoleon, and then ______!
Rich:Audrey, I don’t think you understand! I–______!
Aud:______!
Rich:Oh, for heaven’s sake! Look, you see ______? I’ve probably ruined the whole speech!
Aud:______?
Rich:Just an appeal to my shareholders, that’s all!
Aud:______?
Rich:Nothing you’d understand!
Aud:______!But I do have a vested interest in the food business!_____!
Rich:Well, I’m under siege from my bank, and our institutional investors. ______which a sale and lease back arrangement won’t solve, unless I increase my personal investment, or, hand over twenty per cent of the equity to our small investors!
Aud:______when the swallows are getting ready to leave!
Rich:______!
Aud:Well, ______?
Rich:No! It’s your lot that are ______!
Aud:______?
Rich:Yes! Your upper class clique – the old boy net– twanging each other’s – Etonian braces!
Aud:Nonsense! Oh, Bertie, ______!We’re a meritocracy now!
Rich:Oh, ______! If your face doesn’t fit, they’ll get you in the end!
Aud:______?
Rich:The Gayforths and Lumsdens of this world!Keep waving ______at each other in some kind of semaphore ______!
Aud:______, Bertie!
Rich:I’ve succeeded in beating them in their own game in their own country, you see, and they don’t like that, so they wait until ______, and then – bom!
Aud:Oh, you’re imagining thing- I said no, Bertie!______!
Rich:I’m a self-made man! I’m rich, ______!Which in their eyes makes me ______, you see!
Aud:You’re getting paran- I said no, Bertie!
Rich:I thought I could crack this class system of yours–I even went along with it, employing ______like Gayforth, and ______?Backs his old school chums in a conspiracy to throw me off the board!
Aud:And ______?
Rich:Damned if I am! ______– built it up from nothing!I’ll fight them ______!I’ll take them on single-handed no matter what it costs!
Aud:That’s the stuff! ______!
Rich:Dunkirk spirit, don’t you know?
Aud:______?Bertie? Bertie, where are you?
Rich:Audrey, I’m glad we’ve had this little talk – it’s helped me to ______straight in my mind!
Aud:That’s good! Oh, it’s ______from up here!Doesn’t it make you ______?
Rich:Yes, it does!
Aud:______!
Rich:Do you know, I don’t think ______of what I’ve been saying!
Aud:Yes, I did! You’re going to take them on, ______!
Rich:But they could wipe me out! I’d have to sell up and leave!
Aud:Leave Grantleigh? Oh, that simply ______!
Rich:______!
Aud:Yes I did! Oh, Richard, ______, won’t you?______!
Rich:I think that’s ______!Audrey-
Aud:Oh, ______!
Marj:______?
Aud:______!
Marj:In stocks and shares?
Aud:In ______!
Marj:Oh, come on, Aud! You don’t know the first thing about finance!
Aud:At least ______! It’s “finánce”, not “fínance”!
Marj:Well anyway, ______is not going to help Richard, is it?
Aud:At least I’ll be able to talk to him ______! Perhaps he’ll confide in me more often if Ican ______about stags and bulls and contango days!
Marj:______?
Aud:Well, days when they contango, I suppose!
Marj:______!“Takes only two to contango”– sorry!I won’t interrupt your research again!
Aud:The word is “reséarch”, Marjory!Like “finánce”!
Marj:Oh, well, ______, then! Honestly, you’re turning life into a game of Scrabble!
Aud:Scrabble is ______! It’s got nothing to do with pronunciation!
Marj:Oh, ______! Some of the words you think up are ______!Sorry!I wonder who we’ll have next at the Manor?
Aud:____?
Marj:______!Perhaps it’ll be a pop star, or one of those Arabs who looked at it before!
Aud:______!
Marj:Oh, it must be awful to be landed and rich one moment, and ______the next!
Aud:You are being deliberately aggravating!
Marj:Mind you, if he is poor and homeless,______! I could offer him sympathy and comfort and ______, and he’d see me in a new light and realise that ______!
Aud:Have you been reading Barbara Cartland?
Marj:You can scoff, but honestly, ______, I wouldn’t be at all surprised to hear that ______just to get away from you!
Aud:Oh, be quiet, if ______!I suppose he could have been imagining things!
Marj:Gosh! ______?
Aud:Oh, not the money problem–______! It’s in here! But he has got a bee in his bonnet about ______! He says he’s being strangled by it!
Marj:But ______!
Aud:That’s what seems to be bothering him!______! He thinks they’re ganging up on him!
Marj:______?
Aud:______– Lumsden and Gayforth, I think he said!
Marj:Not Julian Gayforth?
Aud:Could be – why?
Marj:Well there was a Julian Gayforth at Balliol with my cousin -Guy Frobisher! ______!Went to the Commem Ball in a ready-made bow tie!
Aud:Oh, we can’t have Richard done down by someone who wears ______!
Marj:Especially ______!
Aud:You’re not serious?
Marj:______!
Aud:Well that settles it– Brabinger!
Brab:Yes, madam!
Marj:What are you doing?
Aud:I’ve got an idea!______!
Marj:______?
Aud:I’m going to dabble in the muddy waters of commerce!
Brab:Er, ______, madam?
Aud:Ah, yes, I think so– the Rolls is a bit of a problem in London traffic!
Marj:Well it might be cheaper – the rail fares are ______now!
Aud:Lord, where will I find ______?
Brab:I could cash one of my granny bonds, madam!
Aud:No, Brabinger, ______!I’ll speak to Richard!
Marj:______?
Aud:I’ll ask him if he can give me a lift! ______!
Marj:______?
Aud:Yes, Marjory!
Marj:But you said ______!
Aud:Occasionally ______!
Lum:Things are going pretty well! Had a long lunch with Mortimer today –______!
Gay:But Kenyon’s doubtful!
Lum:Well, ______! Leave him to me!What about Maxwell Edwards?
Gay:Oh, you can take him as ours –______!
Grev:Hello, hello! ______?
Lum:Evening, Hartley! Remember Gayforth?
Grev:Oh, ho, ho, yes, yes! Cavendish! Proper mess, isn’t it?
Lum:Oh?
Grev:Cavendish!______, I believe!
Lum:Bad form ______, old boy!
Grev:Oh, yes, yes, I know! I can never understand why!
Lum:______?
Grev:Oh, no, no, no, I’m er, ______!Oh, yes, she must have been held up! I thought I’d come overand buy a company, you know, just to ______!But of course, that would be – frightfully bad form, wouldn’t it?I mean, I’d probably be ______!Ah, there she is! Audrey, my dear, ______!
Aud:Uncle Greville! Oh, ______!
Grev:I’m so glad you haven’t forgotten ______!
Aud:______?
Grev:No, no, no, no! Let me introduce you! This is Lumsden!
Aud:How do you do, Mr Lumsden?Please, ______!
Grev:And this is Gayboy!Top man in Cavendish Foods!
Gay:Er, forth!
Grev:______?
Gay:_____!
Grev:Oh, I’m sorry! Gayboy is ______!
Aud:Not Julian Gayboy, by any chance?
Gay:Yes, as a matter of fact– that is, the name is Julian but ______!
Aud:Oh, I’m so sorry! Yes, of course, Julian Gayforth! ______!
Gay:Really?Who from?
Aud:A very dear friend of mine! Her cousin was up at Balliol with you!
Gay:Oh, ______?
Aud:Frobisher!
Gay:______now!
Aud:Apparently, you had a certain sartorial reputation!
Gay:Really? ______!
Grev:Oh, come along, my dear! I, Ididn’t invite you here to talk to these fellows!
Aud:I’m afraid ______! ______!
Gay:Where the devil did Hartley find her? ______!
Lum:I don’t know! She’s probably one of those what-do-call-them – Sloane Rangers!
Aud:Brigadier?
Brig:Oh, Audrey!
Aud:______!
Brig:Yes! Erm, ______!
Aud:How do you do?
Niece:How do you do?
Aud:______!
Brig:I say, really?______!
Aud:Yes, I suppose it is!
Grev:You two know each other, do you?
Aud:Oh, ______!
Grev:Leamington comes up for the sport! Don’t you?
Brig:Sport?Oh, the, the cricket! Ye, ye- yes!At Lord’s, you know!
Grev:Yes, ______! I’m sure you’re anxious to get back to ______!
Brig:Yes! Come along, my dear!Goodnight, Audrey!
Aud:Goodnight, Brigadier!Goodnight!
Grev:We’re over here!
Aud:Thank you, uncle!
Grev:Why don’t you come to the point, Audrey?
Aud:______?
Grev:Well, you’ve been talking about recession and ______and GNP and MLR[money laundering regulations] –I’m beginning to wonder whether ______or Milton Friedman!
Aud:______!
Grev:You are leading up to something– money, is it?
Aud:Certainly not!______!
Grev:Oh, no, of course not – there are stocks and shares and bonds and- But the last time ______was when you wanted me to chip in to that Manor of yours!
Aud:You are always ______!
Grev:So long as you’re always ______, is that it?
Aud:Absolutely not! But ______when I was trying to buy the Manor!
Grev:______?
Aud:A man called DeVere!
Grev:DeVere?
Aud:Yes!
Grev:Cavendish Foods?______?
Aud:Yes– the Richard DeVere, as in ______!I gather he’s about as popular in the City!
Grev:Yes, Iagree! But, I, I, I wouldn’t worry!I wouldn’t worry! ______before long!
Aud:______?
Grev:Well, the man is a maverick!______, he thumbs his nose at the City, and he’s bound to come a cropper!Still, ______in a way!
Aud:Oh, I do! In fact, ______!
Grev:Because he’s got the Manor?
Aud:______?
Grev:Soul of discretion!
Aud:______!
Grev:What?That-
Aud:______, yes!
Grev:Ah, ha, ha – as you say!______, I’m sure!
Aud:That’s why I’m in London – Richard wants me to erm, ______!
Grev:Oh, ______– we must crack a bottle of champers-
Aud:Ah, no, no, don’t!Erm, we’re keeping it a dead secret at the moment! ______–______, if you see him!
Grev:______?
Aud:No, he doesn’t want it talked about! And of course, we simply must ______– they’d have a field day, wouldn’t they?
Grev:Would they?
Aud:Oh, yes! With all the problems at Cavendish, and the City______, and - ______!
Grev:Of mine?
Aud:Well, he’ll be your -______, or something, won’t he?
Grev:Yes, ______!
Aud:And ______with the Lumsdens and Gayforths of this world, would you?
Grev:Oh, ______!
Aud:Well that’s what will happen, if you stand aside, and allow them to ______!
Grev:Well I don’t see how that can be prevented!______with Cavendish!
Aud:But ______in the City!
Grev:Well I know ______, yes!
Aud:______!
Grev:If the – if the City thought him a good risk, he’d get it!
Aud:The City is being influenced by ______!
Grev:Oh, more than likely!By the way, what was erm, what was this sartorial reputation of his?
Aud:Apparently, ______!
Grev:Well we, we can’t have a fellow like that______, can we?
Aud:Oh, ______, Uncle Greville!
Mrs Polouvicka: What are you dragging me all this way up here for?
Rich:You get ______from up here, mother!
Poo:Oh!
Rich:And I want you to take a look –______!
Poo:______?
Rich:Yes, we’re leaving!
Poo:______?
Rich:We are!I’m trading all of this in for a refrigeration plant in Argentina!
Poo:______!
Rich:No, no – it’s just that I’m committed to an investment project, and the company can’t – or won’t – finance me, so ______!
Poo:But there is always the bank!
Rich:I’ve tried, mother, but I’m just not ______in the City at the moment!______!
Poo:______!
Rich:I do, mother, but I’m fighting for a principle – and if I’m going to stay at the top I’ve got to do something unorthodox!
Poo:That’s the spirit! ______in old Czechoslovakia–“There are more ways of ______than sitting on an acorn”!
Rich:What the devil are you doing up here?
Poo:______– it’s only Ned!
Ned:______, sir!
Rich:Trees? We’ve got plenty of trees up here!______, you know!
Ned:Oh, ah, but most of these ______! We have to keep some of the big ones to protect the little ones!
Rich:Oh, oh, I see!
Ned:It’s part of my job, that is! You see those there?______!And them there in er, 1954!And that one there –______!Er, and see there?
Rich:The saplings, yes?
Ned:Yeah, well, you’ll see me plant them now!Then next year, you’ll see them a bit taller!And the next, ______– and fatter, and stronger! And then ______, you’ll look out, and you’ll see these fine sturdy trees and you’ll say, “Ah yes! ______! Remember old Ned?Him as was always thinking ______?”