The Trap of Offense

THE TRAP OF OFFENSE.

The Trap of Offense

Theme: The devil uses offense to entrap us, and to separate the body.

Text: Matthew 18:7 (NKJV) “Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offense comes!

Introduction: Jesus said that offenses would come. As long as we are on earth, we will face offense.

Although Jesus was referring to anything that causes sin, I would like to focus our attention on the issue of staying free from offence.

The Greek word for offenses in this passage is 4625. skandalon, skan'-dal-on ("scandal"); prob. from a der. of G2578; a trap-stick (bent sapling), i.e. snare (fig. cause of displeasure or sin):--occasion to fall (of stumbling), offence, thing that offends, stumbling-block.

One of the greatest temptations the believer will ever face in life is that of offense. Offense gives the devil a foothold in our lives as individuals, and in the church. Whenever a believer gives place to offense, they become ensnared, and give the enemy a chance to take them captive for his will instead of God.

Strife and offense are a work of the flesh, and as long as we are in these bodies we will have to war against the desires of the flesh. The enemy works on our carnal appetites in order to sway us away from God.

I. Offence Leads To Strife.

A. Strife came into the earth with the fall, and caused man to become an enemy of God.

Romans 8:6-8 (NKJV) For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. 7Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. 8So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

(NLT) So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.7For the sinful nature is always hostile to God. It never did obey God’s laws, and it never will.8That’s why those who are still under the control of their sinful nature can never please God.

B. At heart fallen man is in rebellion against God and His truth.

1. Strife is a work of the flesh or fallen nature.

Galatians 5:19-21 (NKJV) Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, {20} idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions,jealousies,outbursts of wrath,selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, {21} envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

(NCV) The wrong things the sinful self does are clear: being sexually unfaithful, not being pure, taking part in sexual sins, {20} worshiping gods, doing witchcraft, hating, making trouble, being jealous,being angry,being selfish, making people angry with each other, causing divisions among people, {21} feeling envy, being drunk, having wild and wasteful parties, and doing other things like these. I warn you now as I warned you before: Those who do these things will not inherit God's kingdom.

(NLT) When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, your lives will produce these evil results: sexual immorality, impure thoughts, eagerness for lustful pleasure, {20} idolatry, participation in demonic activities, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger,selfish ambition, divisions, the feeling that everyone is wrong except those in your own little group, {21} envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other kinds of sin. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

1 Corinthians 3:1-3 (NKJV) And I, brethren, could not speak to you as to spiritual people but as to carnal, as to babes in Christ. 2I fed you with milk and not with solid food; for until now you were not able to receive it, and even now you are still not able; 3for you are still carnal. For where there are envy, strife, and divisions among you, are you not carnal and behaving like mere men?

(NLT) Dear brothers and sisters, when I was with you I couldn’t talk to you as I would to spiritual people.I had to talk as though you belonged to this world or as though you were infants in Christ.2I had to feed you with milk, not with solid food, because you weren’t ready for anything stronger. And you still aren’t ready,3for you are still controlled by your sinful nature. You are jealous of one another and quarrel with each other. Doesn’t that prove you are controlled by your sinful nature? Aren’t you living like people of the world?

II. How Do Offences Come

1. Failed expectations: When our expectations of others are not met then it gives opportunity to be offended.

A moral failure or a failure to live up to the standard we have set for this relationship. Our expectations may be distorted or skewed, but when violated we will find occasion to be offended.

2. Being wronged by others, either perceived or real.

When others do something where we feel we have been ronged the opportunity to be offended will naturally follow.

3. Our own pride can bring offence. By pride comes offence.

Proverbs 13:10 (Amp) Through pride and presumption come nothing but strife, But [skillful and godly] wisdom is with those who welcome [well-advised] counsel.

(NIV) Wherethereisstrife, thereis pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.

Proverbs 18:19 (NKJV) A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, And contentions are like the bars of a castle.

(NLT) It's harder to make amends with an offended friend than to capture a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with iron bars.

4. Offended at truth. People don’t want to be told that they are wrong.

John 3:18-20 (NIV) Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.19This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.20Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed.

III. Offense and the Work of the Enemy.

A. Offense is one of the greatest snares of the enemy.

Revelation 12:10 (NLT) Then I heard a loud voice shouting across the heavens, “It has come at last— salvation and power and the Kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers and sisters has been thrown down to earth— the one who accuses them before our God day and night.

Proverbs 26:10 (NKJV) Wherethereis no wood, the fire goes out; And wherethereis no talebearer, strife ceases.

James 3:15-16 (KJV)This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish.16For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.

Galatians 5:14-17 (NKJV) For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”15But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another! For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. 14For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”15But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another!16I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. 17For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish.

III. Avoiding Offences

A. Relationships are easy to begin but difficult to maintain.

It’s easy to make a friend, but difficult to maintain that friendship.
It’s easy to get married, but another thing altogether to stay happily married.
It’s easy to join a church, yet difficult to stay in good stead with other members.

Proverbs 17:1 (NKJV) Better is a dry morsel with quietness, Than a house full of feasting with strife.

Proverbs 10:12 (NKJV) Hatred stirs up strife, But love covers all sins.

Proverbs 20:3 (NKJV)It is honorable for a man to stop striving, Since any fool can start a quarrel.

B. While an offense may have come due to a legitimate issue, offended people will usually be prone to foolish and ignorant arguments.

2 Tim 2:22-26 (NKJV) Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. {23} But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife. {24} And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, {25} in humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, {26} and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will.

(NLT) Run from anything that stimulates youthful lust. Follow anything that makes you wantto do right. Pursue faith and love and peace, and enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts. {23} Again I say, don't get involved in foolish, ignorant arguments that only start fights. {24} The Lord's servants must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone. They must be able to teach effectively and be patient with difficult people. {25} They should gently teach those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people's hearts, and they will believe the truth. {26} Then they will come to their senses and escape from the Devil's trap. For they have been held captive by him to do whatever he wants.

B. We must not allow the offense of someone else drag you into the trap of becoming offended ourselves.

1. There is a great temptation to try to defend our own point of view. If you try to fight with an offended person they will not hear you.

Proverbs 15:18 (NLT)A hothead starts fights; a cool-tempered person tries to stop them.

Proverbs 17:14 (NLT)Beginning a quarrel is like opening a floodgate, so drop the matterbefore a dispute breaks out.

Proverbs 30:33 (NKJV)For as the churning of milk produces butter, And wringing the nose produces blood, So the forcing of wrath produces strife.

2.Study how to answer, and choose your words carefully.

Proverbs 15:1 (NLT) A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger.

Proverbs 15:2 (NKJV) The tongue of the wise uses knowledge rightly, But the mouth of fools pours forth foolishness.

Proverbs 15:23 (NKJV) A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, And a word spoken in due season, how good it is!

Proverbs 15:23 (NLT) Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thingat the right time!

Proverbs 15:28 NKJV) The heart of the righteous studies how to answer, But the mouth of the wicked pours forth evil.

C.While people may yield to the enemy, people are not the enemy.

1. The demonic spirits that cause strife and division hide behind the actions of people.

Ephesians 6:10-18 (NCV) Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his great power. {11} Put on the full armor of God so that you can fight against the devil's evil tricks. {12} Our fight is not against people on earth but against the rulers and authorities and the powers of this world's darkness, against the spiritual powers of evil in the heavenly world. {13} That is why you need to put on God's full armor. Then on the day of evil you will be able to stand strong. And when you have finished the whole fight, you will still be standing. {14} So stand strong, with the belt of truth tied around your waist and the protection of right living on your chest. {15} On your feet wear the Good News of peace to help you stand strong. {16} And also use the shield of faith with which you can stop all the burning arrows of the Evil One. {17} Accept God's salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. {18} Pray in the Spirit at all times with all kinds of prayers, asking for everything you need. To do this you must always be ready and never give up. Always pray for all God's people.