The Japanese Spirit
No. 299 March10, 2011
The Sixth Edition (revised and enlarged)
A Fantastic Essay on My Biography :
“A Seagull at the Hama-koshien Shore”
—Not to be sad, I will bring your sad branches far over the sea and above the heaven.—A seagull at the Hama-koshien Shore.
By Hideki Kubota
Beginning:
This is the story of my experience since in July, 2003. This authentic record filled terrible and ugly happenings. I wonder if it seems even like the evil capricious feelings of inhabitants, like the worst situations influenced by the impulses of frustration and hysteria, just as I was attacked by the monomaniac, the manic and the hysteric. The society has gotten the serious ill if it would be produced by an evil group in the dwellers in big development apartments. Just as the evil myth. I think there would have the same case and problem in the big scale housing developments in Japan. Because the big hosing development has too many the aged in the skeletal organization of self-government, the reduced movement of the inhabitants, losing recognition of human rights and vanishing to know right from wrong, ruined themselves in empty, ruined moral training. I would write unusual experience taking the fantastic method to defend human rights of all people and write the truth of this shuttered area.
1. A Seagull.
This town----, that town----. A seagull nose dived and zoomed repeatedly from heavens to far below the towns. It is my pleasure to fly freely in the sky, hearing the wind sound, going flying through the air. I perfectly felt freedom, and above all things, even for a moment, completion through flying high up in the air to become purified myself and crystallize the sacred in my mind. I thought I wonder if I am becoming the sacred in the air. Well, why do I nose-dive and zoom to the towns, fearless, just feeling like the king of kings, because he could continue to fly in solitude, and those towns are confused, ugly and scandalous which are beyond all imagination. It is very fortune for me to have wings which let me take the spirit to live powerfully. Why have I wings ? Blessed by God. And, I have recognized only one way to live eternally. I have been possessed by the wraith, the sacred spirit.
A Seagull No. 1, reported in the Japanese Spirit No.267 issued on December 17, 2010.
- On the Shore.
I have felt refreshing, sitting down on the shore. A seagull has stood, aiming fish movement on the surface. I gazed at the sea like the sea gull, a gentle breeze ripples. Dark sea, a white sea gull, and idle the old. I am seventy years old, retired the writer of the Asahi shimbun in August 2000. Since retirement I have managed the Yakumo-society which is a small office to exchange the international culture, to set up various performances, music, calligraphy, picture, literature and others. I am suffering my life. What is my life? Just now, very confused I should say. And, I couldn’t clearly explained of my life, full of many small branches of life, namely disorders, trifling confusions, like floating branches and leaves in the stream. But, I have noticed those have been the trunk of my life tree, much meters in a diameters, it is more than suffering, the similar to the death agony. I gazed at a sea gull standing calmly, it seems waiting something coming from over the sea. I yearned the sea gull, being able to stand quietly, washed his legs by ripples waves without stirring an inch. I think he would wait something to bring happiness to him. I should pray to Jesus to bring the brilliant happenings to me. God bless us!
3. A Coffee Shop
I could view a big housing development from the shore. There was a small coffee shop over this town. On September 2, 2003, this omen story started at that nice coffee shop. That time, I took part in the election campaign of the member of the House of Representatives as a campaign for a respected candidate with official support of conservative the Liberal-Democratic party. I took a rest with my friends of the candidate and campaigner in this shop. When a campaigner the candidate something Since this moment for eight years I would stage the play, the very stupid and ugly, cooked up by the villains. I would like to think this play to value time, it would be effective after 20 years as a record.
4. The Evil Shadow.
Here, a coffee shop, that place is when it will begin. When I came back my home, I was very surprised at many contact with others, I don’t’ know about senders, who were almost wife’s friends. E-mails with the face of friends, some one visited my house, bringing a small gift for my son, pupil of the primary school. In spite of long silence, they tried to contact with my wife, just as the coffee shop happening. “How are you?” A lot of greetings suddenly gave us. No address Mr. Hideki Kubota. Only my wife’s name. Why have they, all women, made friends with us? What’s the reason for friendship? A group of women surrendered me and asked with a shriek, “Where is your wife?” “Your wife?” “I don’t know about her. Maybe, she was out for shopping.” I couldn’t understand what happened. I was transfixed on the spot.
5. The Rumor.
The moment I heard of rumor I felt as if hole suddenly made just before my standing spot in the coffee shop, surely the groundless rumor. “I did the indecent act ----in the public in my jogging every day.” I Just thought the shameless fellows spread a groundless rumor to lose my good reputation as a campaigner, aiming at looking down upon my respected candidate disputed very heat with the top of the left-wing. But, this rumor, at the midst of the election campaign, this is the crime, the election obstruction. But, why am I in such stupid situation? I should try to escape to fall into a bottomless pit. I thought it is very difficult to stop and vanish this rumor during the campaign. “I heard strange things about him.”“Have you heard the news?”“Do you live on the same floor of Kubota?”“Do you know him?”“That’s a boy, his son.” They often gazed at my family and the relative. On February 6–10, 2007, I visited Queenstown, New Zealand. At the pier of this town, a Japanese woman of the group tour said to her party, “That man!” They gazed at me. I understood the party came from AshiaCity from their chattering. On September 29–October 2, 2009, during the Hokkaido group tour with my wife, this rumor spread in the bus and the airplane to the party, adding the guides and bus drivers. This rumor would spread very fast. Who would investigate the author of the rumor? Who would fix its author in the limited time? All this, I’ m standing vacantly, in spite of the trifles, cooking up a poor story by the fellows who is not worth bothering about.
6. A Ghost.
I was born in the Coffee Shop in the TakasuArea, Nishinomiya city, Hyogo Prefecture in Japan on the second of September, 2003. According to the certificate of my birth by fellows my name is Hideki Kubota, the date of birth is, it is said during the far-off days of my youth, no one to witness my indecent out in the public, there are nothing, four important elements to create a copy, when where, who, what, the reporters never write this copy. Without punctuation marks. Surprised , this stupid story of the groundless rumor, it was the sole topic of conversation of this area. I have been more death than alive. Yeah, a ghost in human form.
7. Blue Sky.
I threw myself down on the sound beach. There is not that seagull. Being exposed to the sea breeze, I dreamed of a seagull. Flying at the height in the blue sky, nothing thinking, only taking a flight, cutting strong wind, I am wings, not a man. Closing the eyes, I kept to be exposed to the breeze, a little cold, purified in the cool breeze. It is getting windy and cold. I opened my eyes and view the sky. Two seagulls passed through at high speed. I yearned the seagull and the sky. I have visited the shore to look at the seagull to survive my difficulty, to purify my duty mind influenced the evil fellows, ---to purify---. I wonder if this shore is the foundation of my confused life, fulfill of anxiety and disillusion. The shore vanished the cowardly rumor even for a shot time in my mind. I’ like to live in quiet seclusion, but, in my big housing development, it is very difficult to esteem the individual, each character, human rights and each dignity of family, attacked by unreserved chattering, just same as no fences of houses. Just like the club rooms at the school. A big development means one house, one family. Depending on the feelings of inhabitants, good or evil.
8. A Flower Way.
It takes an hour to go to the shore on foot. On my way to the shore I could see a various flower gardens of elegant houses, the gentle figures of inhabitants, far from the way the big black dog barked at me, waging its tails. Calm, beautiful, tranquility of the mind, had held warmly and calmly my life. God bless it to human beings, and, praying to God I have made it a rule to go for a walk.
At 2 p.m., in the summer after finishing to send a copy to Poland, I fell asleep, opening the window of my room. The breeze from the sea was refreshing. But, I jumped down at bed. A burst of laughter just out of the wind by about 10 fellows.
9. Daydreaming: The Elevator.
When going down in the elevator in my house development the dowers of a group would escape to get into it with me, when stopping on my way to the first floor on one floor, there are no shadows on that floor, because dwellers hid at the corner of the floor or on the passage. When getting out of the elevator, there are no shadows of people in the first floor. Standing closely together the nearest wall of the entrance of the elevator. A group of women, as if they hate my eyes, when I greeted them they turned their eyes away from me. It seemed they were in disregard of me. And it seemed that the members of the group would increase day by day. What happened to me? I tried to ask their strange behaviors, but seemed to refuse talking with me all together, like fearing someone concerning me. Very strange! They played as if they were the puppets. Well, who is the puppeteer?
10. Daydreaming: Covered the Face.
A walking man waling on the street, looked at me, and , suddenly covered his faces with his hands. Another men, also did it, like a Ninja (a spy) in the Edo period. On the street women inclined the parasols, to me to avoid my eyes, they did it with her shopping bags hats and everything with them, just like it is disgusting even to see me, just the same attitude as if by previous agreement. Until that evil happening in the coffee shop, I have agreed with acquaintances during walking, but no one ignored me at all. There were no chance to ask their strange attitudes, I couldn’t do it. Everyone seemed to be agreed among them that they shouldn’t touch me. Altogether, the same time, they did it. If it is that stupid rumor, who conspired together me, why did they it?
11. Harassment.
Every day, I have always been annoyed by the bad fellows. The ld woman suddenly shouted, “Here, this lewd fellow. Look at him, look at this!!” Stopping working of road improvement, the workers stared at meat the top of the electric light pole, workers looked down me, being absolutely mum. In the town by the sea, far from 3 kilometers from my housing development, it was the sole topic of chattering. Who can spread it in the short time, covering a wide area? How is it done? At the corner of the town a young man abused me in foul language, and spat at me. To my surprise, around 10 habitants looked at this violence silently, hiding themselves behind the thicket inside of the fence of a housing development. I have made a spectacle of myself, in spite of the groundless rumor. Jesus!
12. Persecution mania by self-styled the ghost.
I call myself the ghost, and when thinking something like disillusion mania by the ghost. It’s very funny indeed. Here are always curious people along the jogging course, how and there, very interested in my jogging, especially that part, the lower half of the body. I should call them foolish ghosts, interested in the groundless rumor. Seeking the topic of chattering a few fellows took the photos of my running, by the cell phones with the camera. How would they treat with my photos? One piece Price: 1,000 yen!
A few fellows phoned frequently their friends. What’s speaking? It seemed they would contact with the evil fellows, utilizing the information net. This, net work author of the groundless rumor. Where is the sending station? Who is the addressor? Where and Who!!??
13. At the Street Corner.
I, jogging heard several persons’ talking at the street corner, “In that housing development there are the evil men. Those fellows have tried to reconfirm newly the rumor in the past the established fact, realize the rumor based on nothing in the old time just as gazing it currently. ‘In the past, Mr. Kubota did the lewd conducts there,’ ‘At the supermarket a lot of the odd-job men gathered at one place and gazed at me. What are their behaviors? That is ancient history? In that town many scandal-mongers have spread the rumor.” Weird! —I couldn’t understand why fellows did it against me, and, why did people easily believe in that duty rumor? but, I know intuitively it is the empty tales has written and spread by systematized groups, who were waiting me here and there. Systematized groups, standing by the jogging road, 3-5 persons individually stood only to gaze at me. It seemed they told my course and arrival time. This is mobilization, only to see me? Who told it them? Very strange.
14. A Suspicious Character.
One day, I noticed that on the road family with child would escape to come near me. It seemed that they gave warning against my violence for their child. I have become a suspicious character unnoticed. At the party there are no one sitting beside me. I have had nothing of various invitations and request of lectures. At the big market there was the announce to the workers, “To all visitors, show great kindness.” I have fallen under the eyes of the market. At one hospital a nurse suddenly said to me, ”You give out a bad smell!! ” She ran away from me to her group, and after chattering with her friends the nurses vanished around me, while only I have been sitting down on the chair in the rehabilitation room for around 10 minutes. A few patients took the photographs of me. Without my permission. When I received medical treatment of the knee by electromagnetic waves I entertained a doubt that I have not received treatment, non the less arranged 3 special operators beside me, and after coming back home I asked fro the explanation of it by sending a letter by the fax. One nurse evaded to examine my urine influenced by the rumor, I hear. I have respected the famous director of this hospital. Almost patients of this nice hospital are the inhabitants of my housing development. I was shocked that I guess even this hospital has been influenced with the groundless rumor, more surprise that inhabitants of the big housing development have been easily influenced by it.“What did this fellow, this time, as to go and do it?” shouted the fellows near my room. A Panic!!
15. A Mirage.
When I was running on the jogging course beside the ground of the women high school, I noticed a parking car, described on the white body “The Social Worker Association”. The car suddenly changed its course and turned to the left at the crossing, and after about 5 minutes, the car appeared at full speed and stopped behind me. I felt it is very strange, because a figure rarely was to be seen on this course. At the crossing I looked backward over my shoulder, but, there is nothing to be seen on the street. It was like a mirage for a short time. I came to the shore, and wondered that 4-5 staffs of that association, uniformed and wore the yellow armband were standing in a single row on the break water, looking out on the sea. What is that? It’s the demonstration against the sea, isn’t it? A bicycle came hurriedly to me from the group . I fancied I have seen somewhere before. The moment he hurried away, the group of that association vanished.
16. Mass Hysterics.
I threw myself down on the sounds, looking at the seagull, facing the sea quietly. I’d like to calm down like that seagull. It seemed in my housing development the inhabitants have gone into mass hysterics, it is very foolish, to rumor heatedly about my underbelly covered by the underpants of the slacks. Speaking at the top of their heads, From the crown of the head they continued to speak just like crying in a shrill voice. For five long years! I would consciously be drawn into the seagull, maybe, I think it is in the dream of the seagull. Two bicycles, each a man cycler and a woman cycler, patrolled in the town. I remembered the male cycler, who passed beside me at the break water. I called them “the crew of the bicycle,” “The Apache people,” who went to the next towns to chatter about the evil, obtaining my private life. Oh, Christ, give me strength.