The Gift of a Rebellious Child
Shmuel Herzfeld
Devarim 5772
Our rabbis tell us in Massekhet Taanit (4:6) that five terrible things happened to us on Tisha Beav. We are taught the ninth of Av was the day that it was decreed that our ancestors would wander in the desert for forty years instead of going directly into Israel; both the First and Second Temple were destroyed; the city of Beiter was conquered; and Jerusalem was plowed over.
In addition to these tragedies Jewish lore associates many other tragedies in Jewish history with the Ninth of Av. Thus, for example, this date is associated with the expulsion of the Jews from Spain in 1492 and with the liquidation of the Warsaw ghetto.
On Tisha Beav itself we commemorate these horrible events by crying and observing mourning rituals. Our day is filled with recitation of kinnot, prayers that tell horrible and heart wrenching stories of our history.
And yet, as sad a day as Tisha Beav is, it is also referred to in rabbinic literature as a holiday. The book of Eichah calls it a moed, a holiday (1:15). And it is for this reason that we do not recite tachanun—a prayer that traditionally is not recited on happy days—on Tisha Beav.
How do we reconcile the tragic element of the day with the fact that it is also called a holiday?
The answer lies in viewing the day through the prism of an image that is shared with us by the prophet Yeshayahu.
The Shabbat before Tisha Beav is called Shabbat Chazon. The name for the Shabbat comes from the haftorah because on this Shabbat we read the haftorah from the first chapter of Yeshayahu that begins with the words, chazon yeshayahu.
It is a sad and tragic prophecy that we read to the tune of eichah.
In this prophecy Yeshayahu shares with us the following image—
Banim gadalti veromamti veheim pashu bi. Yadah shor koneihu, vechamor eivus baalav yisrael lo yadah ammi lo hitbonen.
Children I have raised and exalted, and they have rebelled against Me. The ox knows his owner, and the donkey his master's crib; but Israel does not know, My people do not understand. (Eichah 1:2-3)
The image of rebellious children--banim gadalti veromamti—is also an image of that appears in parashat Devarim.
Moshe recounts how the children of Israel came to him and asked that he send men to spy out the land.
Moshe says: “Vatikravun elai kulchem, and you all approached me and said let us send men before us to scout out the land” (1:22). Rashi explains that this implies: “be-arvuvia.” Moshe was approached in a disorganized fashion. “Yeladim dochfin et hazekeinim,” children were pushing their elders; pushing them out of the way as they came close to Moshe and asked him to send out spies.
This image of rebellious children is what preceded the sin of the spies. The image of rebellious children is what preceded all the sins that Yeshayahu lists off. The image of rebellious children is the image that our prophets associate with all of the terrible things that coincide with Tisha Beav.
And yet, the image of rebellious children can also be a blessing and it can also be the reason why Tisha Beav is called a holiday.
There are three reasons why a rebellious child can be a blessing.
The first reason is that every child even a rebellious child is a blessing. There is in fact an explicit teaching from our rabbis that makes this point. There is verse in the Torah that hints to question that the wicked child will ask year after year at the Passover Seder. The verse says “Vehayah ki yomru aleichem, when your children will say to you.” This verse the Haggadah tells us is the exact question that the wicked son will ask. And yet, it is about this verse that the Midrash (Mekhilta) says, “That the children of Israel bowed down in praise when they heard the promise that they will have grandchildren.”
But how can they bow down in praise if they are being told that they will have wicked grandchildren!?!
So the answer is to look at their context. They were slaves in Egypt at the time. They did not know if they would be alive tomorrow, let alone if they would have descendants in a few generations. Any descendant that they are being promised is a blessing and they are expressing their gratitude for that.
Can you imagine a prisoner in the depths of Auschwitz being told that he will have a descendant but that his descendant will be wicked. I would imagine that the prisoner would bow down to Hashem in gratitude at the good news that he will have a descendant. He will worry about the wicked part later on; first he will celebrate and be grateful for having a descendant.
So that is the first reason why the wicked son at the Haggadah and cry of banim gadalti veromamti are both blessings. They are promises from the prophet that even though we will have much struggles and darkness, we will have continuity! We will have descendants!
The second reason for why banim gadalti veromamti is a blessing I just this week learned from an Admiral in the US Navy. He told me a story about a great man who started off life as a rebellious child.
Recently I went with a group of kids (none of whom are rebellious children, they are all as sweet as can be) from our shul camping. As part of our camping trip we visited Norfolk, Virginia where we met with a Jewish Admiral, named Herman Shelanski.
Admiral Shelanski was kind enough to give us a tour of the base and to address our group.
When he met with our group he told us the story of Uriah Levy. Uriah Levy started off as a rebellious child. He ran away from home and became a cabin boy on a ship at the age of 10! He was a boy who got into a lot of trouble. He had to fight many duels in his life; he had a lot of chutzpah. But he also revolutionized the navy. He eventually became the highest-ranking officer (Commodore) in the navy and instituted major reforms in the navy, like his controversial move to end flogging as a means of punishment. After the navy he settled into a more established life and he became a generous philanthropist and even became President of Washington Hebrew Congregation in the District.
As the Admiral told this story of Uriah Levy to our children who were dutifully and respectfully listening, I couldn’t help but think that a parent never wants a rebellious children but it is often the rebellious children who literally change the world for the better.
When we think of the great revolutions that have happened in world history, we remember that they are moments of banim gadalti veromamti, rebellious children speaking out against the injustices of the world. The revolutions were led by the youth who saw an injustice and were too dumb to accept the status quo.
In our own recent Jewish history we witnessed this with the Student Struggle for Soviet Jewry. It was the students –the rebellious children—who disobeyed their elders and went into the streets and galvanized change. The establishment of the Jewish community warned the students at the time—“Shah, still. Dont make a ruckus. If you only knew what we know….” Thankfully, the students didn’t know what their parents knew. If they had known they might have been too afraid to act. But it was their rebelliousness that literally transformed the world.
We don’t want rebels and we don’t want rebelliousness, but without it the world would be a much poorer place.
When the Talmud discussed the reason for the Second Temple being destroyed it literally points to a lack of rebelliousness as the reason for the destruction. The Talmud (Gittin 56a) tells us about a group of rabbis who were led by a overly compliant leader and the result was the great tragedy that we still mourn for.
The background to this story is that a man named Bar Kamtza was angry with the Jewish people and so he wanted to get them in trouble with the Emperor. Bar Kamtza convinced the Emperor to send a sacrifice with him to the Temple and Bar Kamtza promised the Emperor that the Jewish people would disrespect him by rejecting his sacrifice.
Normally, one can accept a sacrifice in the Temple from anyone, but in this case Bar Kamtza made an intentional disqualifying defect on the animal so that the priests of the Temple would be forced to reject it.
But how could they reject this offering of the animal if the result of such a rejection would be endangering everyone’s safety and the very existence of the Temple?
So the Talmud tells the story:
“It was the opinion of the rabbis to sacrifice it for the sake of peace. But Rabbi Zechariah ben Avkulas said, “They will say that blemished animals are sacrificed on the altar!” They considered killing Bar Kamtzah so that he could not arise and inform against them, but Rabbi Zecharia ben Avkulas said to them “One who creates a blemish on that which has been consecrated is killed?” So they let Bar Kamza leave and report on them to Caesar.
Several generations later, one of the greatest rabbis of the Talmud—Rabbi Yochanan-- commented on this leadership of R. Zecharia ben Avkulus. His words are haunting: “Anvantu shel Rabbi Zecharia ben Avkulus hechrivah et beiteinu, ve sarfah et heichaleinu, veheglitanu mei-artzenu. Rabbi Yochanan said, “The humility of Rabbi Zecharia ben Avkulas led to the destruction of our House, the burning of our Temple, and our exile from our land.”
Perhaps if we had some more rebellious youths in that setting the Temple would still be standing. The rebellious youths wouldn’t have accepted the mealy-mouthed bureaucratic answers of R. Zecharia b. Avkulas. They would have spoken up and said that the very existence of the Jewish people is at stake, it is time to act!
So banim gadalti veromamti is a cry from the prophet Isaiah, and it very often a lament from a parent, but a panoramic view of history reminds us that it can also be a very positive thing—as painful as it might be for the parent to see.
And that is the second reason why Tisha Beav is called a Moed. Within the sins of Tisha Beav are contained the source of redemption. One of the sins is the sin of rebelliousness, but a little but of rebelliousness is necessary to change the world.
And finally there is third reason why the phrase banim gadalti veromamti is also a blessing.
To liken the Jewish people to a rebellious child is a blessing, because a rebellious child always has a path back.
No matter what a child has done, a child is still a child. And every parent will forgive their child if only the child would cease his ways and act like a human being. How can a parent resist a child’s smile? Impossible!
This image is supplied to us by the prophet Yeshayahu himself in the opening chapter of the Book of Isaiah.
Although his prophecy is overwhelmingly sad, he does remind us within this very prophecy that there is an open door back to our Father in heaven.
His prophecy begins in darkness.
“Artzechem shemama, Your country is desolate; areichem serufot, your cities are burned with fire; your land, strangers devour it in your presence, and it is desolate, as overthrown by floods” (1:7).
But then he turns and reminds us that like all wayward children we are welcome back whenever we want.
“Im yihyu chateichem kashanim kasheleg yalbinu. Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool” (1:18).
“Tzion bemishpat tipadeh, ve-shaveah bitzdakah. Zion shall be redeemed with justice, and they that return of her with righteousness” (1:27).
A rebellious child is first and foremost still a blessing.
A rebellious child is sometimes necessary to bring redemption to the world.
And a rebellious child always has an open door back to his parents, and in our case to Hashem.
Perhaps this is the core reason why Tisha Beav despite all its horrors is still called a Moed. Even though it looks bad now, if we dig a little deeper and wait a little longer it will all turn out ok.
Admiral Shelanski told us that he used to be the captain of an aircraft carrier called the Harry S. Truman. When he was captain the Truman ship was lent a Torah that hade been given to President Truman by Israeli President Chaim Weizmann. It was a Torah that had been salvaged from Lithuania during World War II. But today that Torah that had been left for trash by the wicked Nazis rides the seas with full glory and honor under the direction and protection of a Jewish commander on the most powerful ship in the world. That Torah is an example of how Tisha Beav too will one day become a Moed.
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