The Blame Game
Now when Rachel saw that she bore Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister, and said to Jacob, "Give me children, or else I die!" And Jacob's anger was aroused against Rachel, and he said, "Am I in the place of God, who has withheld from you the fruit of the womb?" – Genesis 30:1-2
Understandably, Rachel was becoming very frustrated at being unable to bear her husband Jacob any children. But why did she blame him for that? Jacob correctly stated that such a thing is up to God, not up to a single man! You may not have faced this exact situation, but perhaps you have been in another situation where you were blaming someone for something that was really out of that person’s control, or where you were being blamed for something out of your control. Perhaps the other person involved was a spouse or another family member. Try to remain aware at all times of how you treat the people who are close to you, and don’t start blaming them for things that are out of their control.
Waiting For God’s Timing
Then God remembered Rachel, and God listened to her and opened her womb. And she conceived and bore a son, and said, "God has taken away my reproach." So she called his name Joseph, and said, "The Lord shall add to me another son." – Genesis 30:22-24
Rachel was barren for a long time and could not bear any children, but finally she did. Once again we get a lesson in trusting God’s timing. (There are quite a few of those in the Bible; He must have known that we would need many such lessons because it can be hard to place our complete trust in His timing!) The significance here is that the son Rachel finally had, Joseph, was the one who would eventually save the entire family and lead to their move to Egypt. God knew that all along, but Joseph couldn’t be born until the right time in order for the rest of those events to play out as they did. God always has a plan, and we must learn to trust in Him and His plans if we are going to walk closely with Him day by day.
God Always Sees
Yet your father has deceived me and changed my wages ten times, but God did not allow him to hurt me. ... Then the Angel of God spoke to me in a dream, saying, Jacob. And I said, Here I am. And He said, Lift your eyes now and see, all the rams which leap on the flocks are streaked, speckled, and gray-spotted; for I have seen all that Laban is doing to you. – Genesis 31:7, 11-12
Sometimes, bad things happen. Sometimes, one person takes advantage of another. Life isn’t always fair and justice may not always be served. That is why it is so wonderful that we serve a fair and just God who sees everything! If you recall, Jacob agreed to serve Laban for seven years in order to marry Rachel, then Laban deceived Jacob and gave him his other daughter, Leah, instead. He then served seven more years for Rachel, and continued serving after that to earn livestock. Apparently Laban continued to change the wages he had promised Jacob, but God was watching all the while. Did Jacob eventually get everything that Laban had promised him? I’m not entirely sure, but we do know one thing: God supplied everything that Jacob needed.
Honesty Is the Best Policy
Then Jacob answered and said to Laban, "Because I was afraid, for I said, Perhaps you would take your daughters from me by force." – Genesis 31:31
After Laban had dealt deceitfully with Jacob and his wages, Jacob felt he could no longer trust him. Eventually, due to the fear that had been caused by that level of distrust, he set off with his family (including Laban’s two daughters) without telling Laban that he was leaving. When Laban found out what had happened, he pursued Jacob and finally caught up to him. When Laban asked Jacob why he left so suddenly, Jacob gave the completely honest answer that you read above. He didn’t try to shy away from the truth hoping that would make the situation less tense, which is the way many people would have responded. He just told the truth, in a very simple and straightforward manner. No matter what kind of situation you may find yourself in, being honest is always the best way to respond. Lying only causes more problems in the long run.
Jacob’s Humble Heart
"I am not worthy of the least of all the mercies and of all the truth which You have shown Your servant; for I crossed over this Jordan with my staff, and now I have become two companies." – Genesis 32:10
Here we find Jacob nearing his brother Esau, who he hasn’t seen in many, many years. He fears that Esau is going to come after him and attack him, a fear that we later learn was unfounded. In any case, I wanted to examine Jacob’s attitude in this verse. God has blessed Jacob greatly, and Jacob knows it. He doesn’t try to praise himself for everything that he has earned and accomplished. He gives all the praise and glory to God, and humbles himself by admitting that he is not worthy. In truth, not a single one of us is worthy, when we look at how perfect God is. We often get so busy judging one another (“at least I’m not as bad as that other person!”) that we fail to view things from God’s perspective. We would all be wise to remember Jacob’s perspective from this verse and to try to have a similar perspective ourselves.
Wrestling With God
Then Jacob was left alone; and a Man wrestled with him until the breaking of day. Now when He saw that He did not prevail against him, He touched the socket of his hip; and the socket of Jacob's hip was out of joint as He wrestled with him. And He said, "Let Me go, for the day breaks." But he said, "I will not let You go unless You bless me!" – Genesis 32:24-26
Many people believe the Man Jacob was wrestling was a preincarnate Jesus Christ. In any case, it was some manifestation of God. Why did God wrestle with Jacob? There are several possible reasons. The one that we can perhaps learn the most from is that God wrestled with Jacob in order to get Jacob to fully depend on Him. When Jacob’s hip socket became out of joint, he was injured and in a poor position to continue wrestling. He had to rely on God to take care of him from that point forward. God’s ultimate goal may well have been to humble Jacob so that Jacob would have to totally depend on God. That’s what God wants all of us to do. We don’t have to fight the battles we face in this life alone; we have God on our side.
Struggling With God
So He said to him, "What is your name?" He said, "Jacob." And He said, "Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel; for you have struggled with God and with men, and have prevailed." ... So Jacob called the name of the place Peniel: "For I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved." – Genesis 32:27-28, 30
Jacob struggled with others all through his life. He struggled against his twin brother Esau at their birth and throughout their lives. He also struggled with Laban when attempting to marry Laban’s daughter Rachel. Just prior to this passage, he had wrestled with God Himself yet he lived. But Jacob didn’t run from God; instead, he drew closer to Him and became increasingly dependent on God. Do you let trials and temptations in this life pull you away from God? Or do you draw closer to God during those times, allowing Him to give you comfort and guidance? The latter is what He wants you to do. Sooner or later, we all face struggles in this life. But a struggle doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Instead, view it as an opportunity to strengthen your relationship with God.
Kindness Prevails
Then Esau said, "What do you mean by all this company which I met?" And he said, "These are to find favor in the sight of my lord." But Esau said, "I have enough, my brother; keep what you have for yourself." And Jacob said, "No, please, if I have now found favor in your sight, then receive my present from my hand, inasmuch as I have seen your face as though I had seen the face of God, and you were pleased with me. Please, take my blessing that is brought to you, because God has dealt graciously with me, and because I have enough." So he urged him, and he took it. – Genesis 33:8-11
Because of some things that had happened in the past, Jacob was afraid that his brother Esau would be angry with him when he finally returned home after many years away. So, what did Jacob do? He sent a multitude of gifts ahead of himself in an attempt to make peace with his brother or at least curtail his brother’s anger. As it turns out, Esau had a very forgiving spirit and wasn’t angry anyway. But one thing we can learn from this story is that treating an enemy with kindness is always the best approach.
Jacob Had Enough
And Jacob said, "No, please, if I have now found favor in your sight, then receive my present from my hand, inasmuch as I have seen your face as though I had seen the face of God, and you were pleased with me. Please, take my blessing that is brought to you, because God has dealt graciously with me, and because I have enough." So he urged him, and he took it. – Genesis 33:10-11
Although this isn’t the main point of this story, something caught my attention when I read the last few words of Jacob’s quote (and actually, his brother Esau made a similar comment as well back in verse 9). He gave God the credit for all the possessions that he had, and he made the statement that he had enough and was glad to freely give some of his possessions away to his brother. Instead of being greedy for all the latest and greatest things that we see advertised on TV, we should adopt a similar attitude. In this country, most of us do have much more than we really need. How can you truly love God if you keep all those things to yourself and don’t share with those who are in need?
Causes of Jealousy
Joseph, being seventeen years old, was feeding the flock with his brothers. And the lad was with the sons of Bilhah and the sons of Zilpah, his father's wives; and Joseph brought a bad report of them to his father. Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age. Also he made him a tunic of many colors. But when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him and could not speak peaceably to him. – Genesis 37:2b-4
Though it is never good to be jealous, sometimes it is understandable. Jealousy among siblings is often caused by parents who favor one child over another. In this case, Jacob (also known as Israel after his name was changed by God) heavily favored Joseph, the youngest of his twelve sons. All of Joseph’s brothers became very jealous of him. Still, was this the right way to react? Yes, Jacob should have shown the same amount of love to all his children, but like all humans, he wasn’t perfect. But instead of developing such a jealous hatred for Joseph, his brothers could have handled the situation with much more love.
Question to Ponder: If you have children, do you try to treat them fairly or do you have a favorite?
Encouraging the Jealousy
Now Joseph had a dream, and he told it to his brothers; and they hated him even more. So he said to them, "Please hear this dream which I have dreamed: There we were, binding sheaves in the field. Then behold, my sheaf arose and also stood upright; and indeed your sheaves stood all around and bowed down to my sheaf." And his brothers said to him, "Shall you indeed reign over us? Or shall you indeed have dominion over us?" So they hated him even more for his dreams and for his words. – Genesis 37:5-8
Joseph’s brothers were already very jealous of him because he was their father’s favorite son, but Joseph didn’t do much himself to dispel those jealous feelings. By telling him about this dream plus another one that was similar (see verses 9-11), he only encouraged that jealousy. It’s hard to say what his motives were for telling them about his dream, but regardless of motive, it wasn’t the best way to handle the situation. If you know someone is jealous of you, don’t make the same mistake that Joseph made here. With humility, try to encourage the other person and show them the same love that Jesus gives to you.
Question to Ponder: Do you do anything that could provoke someone else’s jealousy?
Effects of Jealousy
And the man said, "They have departed from here, for I heard them say, Let us go to Dothan. " So Joseph went after his brothers and found them in Dothan. Now when they saw him afar off, even before he came near them, they conspired against him to kill him. Then they said to one another, "Look, this dreamer is coming! Come therefore, let us now kill him and cast him into some pit; and we shall say, Some wild beast has devoured him. We shall see what will become of his dreams!" – Genesis 37:17-20
Hopefully, you’ve never been so jealous of someone that you actually wanted to kill that person. Still, jealousy can lead to some very strong negative emotions and reactions. It’s important not to let jealousy control you the way Joseph’s brothers did in this passage. They allowed their jealousy to fully consume them to the point that they were willing to kill their own brother! Take a moment to think about something that you have done out of jealousy. Was your reaction justified, and if not, what could you have done differently? We should all try to act out of Jesus’ love, not out of resentment and jealousy.
Question to Ponder: How can you respond better to feelings of jealousy?
Still Jealous, but a Little More Sensible
But Reuben heard it, and he delivered him out of their hands, and said, “Let us not kill him.” And Reuben said to them, “Shed no blood, but cast him into this pit which is in the wilderness, and do not lay a hand on him”—that he might deliver him out of their hands, and bring him back to his father. So it came to pass, when Joseph had come to his brothers, that they stripped Joseph of his tunic, the tunic of many colors that was on him. Then they took him and cast him into a pit. And the pit was empty; there was no water in it. – Genesis 37:21-24