Singlehood and Mate Selection Part 2

SINGLEHOOD, MATE SELECTION (Part 1)

You attract what you are….. not what you want.

Halo effect: assumptions that ______people possess more ______social characteristics.

______feel their partner is ______& they have the best ______

______continues to be ______through marriage

changes in ______appearance have ______than changes in ______appearance

THEORIES OF MATE SELECTION:

______are ______for ______

______are valued for ______, ______skills

Important Similarities

Race – ______% marriages of ______race.

Religion – Greatest risk of divorce is if one is ______.

Socioeconomic Status – Men often ______, women often ______.

Age – Members of ______at same life tasks. Gap has ______and age entering marriage ______.

Propinquity – ______, geographically ______(internet)

Heterogamous Marriages

Homogamous marriages are more likely ______because Heterogamous marriages:

Different ______and lack ______.

______from friends and family, ______.

Less ______, therefore less likely to stay married ______.

WHO SHOULD I MARRY?

PREDICTORS OF DIVORCE:

Both ______= ___ to ___ x more likely to ______

Only ____% will last more than ___ years

______is a ______= ______more likely to divorce

Predictors of Success

______

Good ______health

High ______

______at ______marriage

High ______

______

average engagement ___ months

average acquaintance ___ – _____ years)

Parent Model

High ______in family of ______

High level of ______

______between parents

Support from significant others

______of spouse

______

PURPOSES OF DATING

SOCIALIZATION:

To develop ______social skills to practice ______with others in ______.

RECREATION:

To have _____ and enjoy the ______of others, and to try ______and different ______.

MATE SELECTION:

To see others in many different settings, to compare the ______and ______of ______.

STAGES OF DATING

Stimulus Stage: Attraction is ______, ______or ______.

Value Stage: Weigh each other’s ______to see if ______. Usually determined between ___-___ dates (best to ______here).

Role Stage: Analyze behaviors to determine filling roles as ______, ______, friend, ______, ______and ______.

HOW MANY GUYS WOULD ASK A GIRL OUT WITH OUT BEING GIVEN PERMISSION BEFOREHAND?

Men are ______from women.

_____% of men preferred women who ______.

_____% of men wanted women to ______.

_____% of men preferred women to ______.

Initiating a Date

Women most often ______meeting by sending ______of ______.

Women control dating:

FLIRT = ACT

A – ______

C – ______: accidentally on purpose ______into them, be where they are

T – ______: catch eye, ______, ______elbow, etc.

HOW DO YOU MEET PEOPLE FOR DATING?

Open field: A setting in which potential partners ______be likely to meet, characterized by ______of people who do not ordinarily interact, such as a ______, ______or ______.

Closed field: A setting in which potential partners ______, characterized by a ______number of people who are likely to interact, such as a ______, ______or ______).

______are the most common place _____ to _____ of all meetings are introductions by friends (also ______, classified ads, dating services and ______).

PROBLEMS IN DATING

Power is not usually a problem in dating but gender roles are.

______?

______

BREAKING UP

Be sure that you ______to break up and are not just ______and ______.

Acknowledge that ______.

Once you end the relationship, ______continue ______your former partner as ______for ______.

Don’t ______.

The ______are ______.

You are a ______whether you are ______your partner or ______.

Keep a ______.

Singlehood and Mate Selection Part 2

Increasing: Divorced, Widowed, Never Married

______

______options for ______

Increased ______& decreased ______

More ______

______of unmarried ______to ______

Singlehood

increases ______

difficulty ______and doing what one ______rather than what one ______

men ______women ______than women need men thus men ______

men less ______

media portrays ______as ______and marriage as ______with ______

Types of“Never Married”

ambivalence: ______and ______

wishful: ______

resolved: ______and ______

regretful: resigned to their ______. Often well ______, ______income over ____ but _____ available ______.

Myths of Singlehood

singles are ______

singles have ______(married couples are better off – ______)

singles are ______

singles view single hood as a ______

Characteristics of Singlehood

Singles ______

Cohabitation—Legal Problems

Can’t file ______

Can’t make ______

Can’t ______

Can’t enter ______or ______restricted to “______”

Can’t create ______

Can’t claim ______on income tax

Can’t receive ______

Can’t get ______, ______, etc

Can’t collect ______if you ______for a ______job

Can’t get ______for a ______

Role of Commitment in Cohabitation

______

Lack of ______

More ______

______not expected to ______, both work

______

______likelihood of ______

More ______, independent, ______religious, ______

WHY MARRIAGE MATTERS!!& HOW TO MAKE IT LAST

Singlehood and Mate Selection Unit

FAMILY:

1. Marriage ______the likelihood that fathers have ______relationships with ______.

2. Cohabitation is ______of marriage.

3. Growing up ______increases the likelihood that children will themselves ______or become ______.

4. Marriage is a ______.

ECONOMICS:

5. Divorce and unmarried childbearing ______for both children and ______.

6. Married couples ______build more ______than singles or cohabiting couples.

7. ______earn more money than do single men with similar ______and ______.

8. ______appears to ______children’s ______of ______.

9. Parental divorce ______the likelihood that children will ______and achieve ______.

PHYSICAL HEALTH & LONGEVITY:

10. Children who live with their own ______enjoy ______, on average, than do children in other family forms.

11. Parental marriage is associated with a ______of ______.

12. Marriage is associated with ______for both adults and teens.

13. Married people, especially married ______, have ______than do otherwise similar singles.

14. Marriage is associated with ______and lower rates of ______, ______and ______for both men & women.

MENTAL HEALTH & EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING:

Children whose parents divorce have ______of ______distress and ______.

Divorce appears to significantly ______.
Married ______have ______rates of ______than do ______or cohabiting mothers.

CRIME & DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

18. ______raised in ______are more likely to engage in ______and ______.

19. Marriage appears to ______that adults will be either ______or ______.

20. Married ______appear to have a ______risk of experiencing ______than to cohabiting or ______women.

21. A child who is ______with his or her own two married parents is at ______of ______.

MAKING IT LAST – FOR A LIFETIME

ACHIEVE GENUINE INTIMACY

Be ______and ______at the ______.

Control ______.

Express your ______, ______, and ______and everyday ______.

ACCEPT THE OTHER TOTALLY

Marriage is a ______.

People ______really ______when they ______.

Before Marriage:

We ______……

We don’t ______…

We ______our loved one ______.

CHANGING, LEARNING, GROWING TOGETHER

Be flexible – ______.

Be prepared for change – ______change, ______, relationships take on ______.

Couples can ______.

Be Enthusiastically Involved in Each Others Becoming as Well as Being.

Have a ______.

______positive ______most of ______.

______about ______eliminates ______.

True marriage is not my devotion to you, nor is it yours to me.

True marriage is our devotion to us.

By Lois Wyse

Grow old along with me!

The best is yet to be,

The last of life, for which the first was made.

by Robert Browning