Ashlee Samuels
July 15, 2011
Personal Essay 1: Rough Draft 2
NO THC FOR ME!
My sister-in-law Dom is always getting terrible stomach aches. She has seen tons of specialists but none of them can figure out the problem.Dom is a very sweet girl, everybody loves her and loves how [JW1]innocent she can be. She is 24 years old, doesn’t really like to drink, but is always at the fun parties. Neither of us like weed or any drugs for that matter. One evening we were hanging out at her parent’s house where her younger brother, Nick, who is about 22, lives. This is always where the parties, gatherings, and family dinners are. On this particular night Nick was having some of his friends over and we were drinking, smoking, playing games [JW2]and having a great time.
. Suddenly Dom grabbed my arm and squeezed it as hard as she could! I did not even have to ask what was wrong; I knew she was getting one of her stomachaches. I helped her up and we went downstairs where it was, cool and quiet. I got her a heating pad and some ice chips while she was just laying there sweating in excruciating pain.
A few minutes later, Nick and his friend Hank, (the creepy, loser, drug dealer of the town), came down to check on Dom. Hank said he had something that would make her feel better, a “weed pill.” I just laughed at him because I thought he was joking. Then he went on this long spiel about how his mom takes them all the time and they will really help, Hank said, “she won’t feel high, it will just ease her pain and make her go to sleep.” She asked my opinion and I told her I thought it was a bad idea, but she was in so much pain she felt like it was her only option; so she took it. About a half hour later she started getting drowsy, as if she took some kind of sleeping pill. She asked me to stay with her because everybody else in the house was drunk and out of hand, and her husband, my brother, was out of town on a business trip. So I stayed and slept on the floor next to the couch.
An hour or so later I heard Dom moving around so I got up to see what she was doing. She was standing about three inches away from the wall just staring at it blankly. I walked up next to her and asked what she was doing and she said that the wall was laughing at her so she was giving it a dirty look[JW3]. I finally got her to stop looking at the wall and to look at me. I was trying to talk to her and she just started laughing uncontrollably! She was laughing so hard she started crying. When the tears started coming out of her eyes she reached up to touch her cheek and asked me why there were waterfalls running down her face.
At this point I was like, “oh crap, what was that pill she took!” I went upstairs to get Nick and he came downstairs with me only to find Dom laying on the floor Indian style like a little girl with her grey and white striped shirt up over her face, still laughing hysterically, with the biggest smile on her face like she was a little girl again. Her brother Nick found this incredibly entertaining; I on the other hand was freaking out.
Nick brought Dom upstairs where she acted bizarre and crazy all night, I was really worried about her. He and all of his friends thought it was hilarious, making her laugh and do dumb things, like stand on her head and eat tons of pickles. Two hours later, she was finally ready to go to sleep. I went back downstairs with her and did not sleep a minute because I was so worried about her. The next morning she was talking about how when she woke up and we were all talking to her she could see our mouths moving but could not hear the words we were saying. Also, she remembered the comment about the water-fallsand she knew they were tears but was unable to say the word. It was like she’d had a stroke.
A few days later, Dom and I were at a friend Paige’s house. We were sitting on her bed talking while she was packing for her trip to San Diego, she was going to be gone for a few weeks so we wanted to go see her before she left. We were telling her about the “weed pill” that Dom took. She asked us what we thought it was. Paige was the girl that experimented with different kinds of things in high school but for us, as two girls who are not really into stuff like that, we said crushed up weed in a pill, right? Paige just laughed and laughed at us! We came to find out the pill that Dom took was pure THC which, in my mind, would make anybody go crazy let alone a girl who has never done any kind of drug in her life! Dom’s motto now?NO THC FOR ME![JW4]
[JW1]Maybe talk about why she is so lovely. What makes everyone love her?
[JW2]what sorts of games? Elaborate
[JW3]Haha nice! What did you do? What did you think? Explain the moment a little better
[JW4]Pretty wild story! I tried to give you more things to talk about and think about while going back over it. The one thing I would say is that it could use a little bit more descriptive details. It seems like you are telling us the story straight forward. Try to show us the story. Its tough when the crazy parts is happening to the other person but try and show us how worried you were, how you felt, how she was behaving in greater detail.