My Rose of Freedom
By Destini Shuemaker
Choosing to go to college wasn’t easy. I did not have good role models; my parents didn’t even make it past middle school andwere indifferent about my school attendance, so I stopped showing up in middle school. How could I begin to try college without even having a middle school education? I put it off for years and didn’t make the best choices. And things got bad. Then worse.
Finally, I decided I’d had enough and tried to turn my life around. College is where people went to get a better life, and I had a community college right in town. I knew I wouldn’t be able to test into college level classes, so I started out taking simple courses, Pass/Fail classes about self-esteem and stress management to get ready for everything else I’d have to take.
But it was too hard at first. I had a relapse and had to drop out of two quarters, then skipped the next one.I withdrew from all my classes in 2012 and thought that maybe college wasn’t for me, that I couldn’t handle it.
Then I got pregnant.
I knew I’d have to raise the baby alone, but how could I be a mother with my lifestyle? How could I bring kids into this world? I couldn’t. But instead of giving my future daughter up, I took it as a sign. I got clean and decidedto give college one more chance when my daughter Freedom Rose was born.
This time was different. Motherhood was the motivation I needed, something to keep me going even if things got tough. Whenever I thought about quitting, about giving up again, I thought about Rose and how she deserved more than I could give her, how she deserves more than I have.
But trying to a raise a new baby and go to college at the same time is hard. Harder than I thought. Going to school and raising a child are tough enough on their own. How could I possibly do both at the same time alone?
I couldn’t.
Thankfully, I have good friends. One of my good friends offered to watch Rose while I went and got my CNA license so I could bring in some money and try to get into the Nursing program. I went to a wonderful CNA training school and got close with my instructor. We’re still good friends to this day. She even spends time with my girls and babysits them occasionally.
Did I say girls? Yes, I had my second beautiful daughter when Rose’s dad said he wanted to give it another try. It didn’t take long until I got pregnant again. Unfortunately,things didn’t work out between us like we hoped they would, only this time I had two girls.
So, with two daughters, working as a relief caregiver and going to college full time, I had to learn how to manage my time. Believe it or not, having the kids helped make this happen. Forced it to happen, more like. But it didn’t come easy. My first quarter of Clark College was in spring 2011. In 2013, Rose was born, and although I’ve technically been in college for five years, I’m still working on my first degree.
However,because I have to take care of my girls, I’ve learned how to manage everything. Going to school forced me to develop a routine with the kids, and having a routine has made everything a lot easier. On school days I’m up early, get Rose ready for preschool, then head to college where I’m so grateful for the daycare system they have for parents like me. And because I’m so busy during the week, I put aside a weekend day to spend times with the kids. Whether it’s going to the bounce house or the fair or just to the park, putting aside a day just for them and not for homework makes them happy. And me too. It helps balance my life, so I’m not studying every moment I have. Honestly, I don’t know if I would’ve set aside this special time if school wouldn’t have forced me to do it, and I’m thankful for that.
Because of my determination to give my kids a better life than I had, I’ve been getting mostly A’s in college and have kept up a 3.85 cumulative GPA and hope to raise it even higher in the future. But I still need all the help I can get. So when I found out that Rosenfeld Injury Lawyers had a scholarship for single mothers like me, I had to take the opportunity to tell my story about how becoming a mother made me a better student and a better person, and hopefully inspire other single mothers to do the same.
And it’s true that motherhood truly is the greatest motivation for school. It’s given me the discipline I didn’t know was in me, and the strength to keep on going. I’m going to keep going to school, and I’m going to get into the competitive nursing program. Then I’m going to excel and keep going for my BSN. I know I will. Because I’m not doing it for myself.
I’m doing it for my two girls.