Module 5
Activities
Developing an enabling relationship
List of activities:
→Authoritative and enabling people in our lives (Disc) – 30 minutes
→Seeing people in a positive light (Disc) – 30 minutes
→Offering people choices (Disc) – 1 hour
→Who knows best? - 30 minutes
→Helping people think for themselves (Disc) – 30 minutes
→Your first meeting with a person (Sim) – 1 hour
→Active listening and reflective interviewing (Sim) – 1 hour
→Choosing your position – behind, front, side to side (Ind/Disc) – 30 minutes
Interactive lectures (ILec)– e.g. power point, guest speakers
Learning games (Game)
Discussion (Disc) – e.g. brainstorming, class discussion, roundtable, small group with report back, case story, pairing,
Individual reflection (Ind)– worksheets, surveys
Simulation (Sim) - Role playing, real-life scenario, panel
Learning by doing (Do)– projects, field visits
Activity: Authoritative and enabling people in our lives (Disc)
Time required: 30 minutes
Learning objectives: For participants to remember when they have been in a situation that was very authoritative, how this made them feel and how this may have impacted their ability to learn and grow.
Materials: paper, pen
Method:
- The trainer asks participants to pair up. Each person will write down a story about 2 real people in their lives. They will write about 1 person who was very authoritative and who wanted to tell him/her what to do, how to do it and maybe even what to think. This is often a parent or a teacher figure, but if they can think of peers who had this role it may be better. Then, the participant will write about another person who was enabling, trusted their judgment and let them decide what they should do in different situations. Each pair will share the stories of the 2 people they know. Afterwards, the participants will be asked to share some of these stories with the group (they can be anonymous, so people are not speaking of their parents or of relationships that are too personal).
- The trainer should facilitate discussion on the following questions:
A – Which person did you enjoy interacting with more?
Likely they will say the enabling relationship, where the person did not feel small and lacking value.
B- Which person helped your self-confidence?
Likely they will say the enabling relationship, where the person feels respected and valued.
C- Which person helped your independence?
Likely they will say the enabling relationship, where the person is given time to figure out what they want.
D- Why do you think people become authoritative?
May be learned behavior from role models in life that think people are ignorant and do not know what they want and need to be told what to do.
E- Why do you think people become enabling?
May be learned behavior from positive role models in their life, that realize each person has the ability to determine what they want if given the opportunity.
Activity: Seeing people in a positive light (Disc)
Time required: 30 minutes
Learning objectives: To work on understanding people and seeing them in a loving light (also called ‘unconditional positive regard’) instead of a judgmental light; to help enlarge our circle of acceptance.
Materials: Flipchart, marker.
Method:
- Participants will work on finishing the below statements in pairs. They will write honestly what they feel/perceive in people. The trainer can write these statements on flipchart or power point projector.
- People who are very talkative and do not listen …
- People who are indecisive are…
- People who interrupt a conversation are…
- People who wear expensive clothing are…
- People who are opinionated are …
- People who are very quiet are…
- People who do not believe in god are…
- People who drink alcohol or smoke are…
- People who depend on others are…
- People who are too independent are…
- Next, they will work on changing their original statements (which likely were negative) into NEUTRAL AND ACCEPTING statements that come from a place of understanding why people may behave the way they do.
FOR EXAMPLE:
- If they stated ‘people who are talkative and do not listen are… annoying’ into ‘people who are talkative and do not listen are… having a lot to express and may not feel heard’. OR
- If they stated ‘people who wear expensive clothing are… rich and wasteful’ into ‘people who wear expensive clothing … enjoy doing so and that is their choice’. OR
- If they stated ‘people who are indecisive are weak and do not know what they want in life’, into ‘people who are indecisive consider all the options before making quick decisions’.
Activity: Offering people choices (Disc)
Time required: 1 hour
Learning objectives: To learn how to help people increase their ability to think for themselves and choose for themselves.
Materials: Paper, pen
Method:
- The trainer asks participants to brainstorm answers to the following questions in a large group:
- What is a choice?
Being able to determine what one wants and be able to safely and confidently select it.
Choice can be complicated and difficult to make when what we like/want may be different from what is best for us and friends/family may remind us of this. It is easiest to make a choice when what is best for us is also what we want.
- What are the choices we make daily and weekly?
What to eat/cook, how to dress, what to say/write in our work, how to behave in different situations, how much time to spend on different things based on what is important to us.
- What are the major life decisions and choices we make?
Where to live, who to marry, whether to have children/how many, what job/profession to pursue, when to change jobs.
- Why is choice important for people’s empowerment?
Our choices are a reflection of our values and desires. If someone has clear values and desires they will be able to make the choices that will be the best fit for them an in turn make them the happiest. If they are not aware of what they want/need and other people are choosing for them, there is chance they may not be happy with the outcome of the choices others have made; they may never learn to check with themselves to see what they would like to choose in life.
- The trainer then asks participants to work in pairs. They imagine they are working with a person who is not used to making choices for themselves and has had their family choose/think for them for most of their life. The social facilitator is now working to help the person make more choices in their life. To start, the social facilitator will need to give small, low-risk choices to the person before moving on to offering more important choices. Have each participant list 5 choices they can give a person, when working with them, starting with easier/low-risk choices and moving to more difficult/high-risk choices. It can be choices around the way the person wants to work together, the way the person wants to interact with the community or anything related to social work. The important thing when offering choices is no to project your own values and desires onto the person. The other important thing is to start with 2-3 choices until you feel the person is getting better at selecting what they want, where your questions can be more open-ended.
Below are examples of choices to give a person:
- Do you prefer meeting in the morning or afternoon?
- Do you prefer meeting alone or having your family attend with you?
- Out of the 3 vocational training centres available in your community, which do you prefer to visit first?
- Do you prefer to go alone to the vocational training centre or for me to accompany you?
- Would you prefer to join a group that focuses on microfinance or one focused on psychosocial support?
- Which leader in the community would you like to speak to, to learn about self-advocacy efforts?
- Which family member or friend would you like to support you regularly in your personal project after we are finished working together?
- It is also really helpful to help a person weigh out their options when making a choice. Participants can list 3 types of questions they can ask when helping someone decide which vocational training centre to choose for their livelihood training;or 3 questions helping parents choose the best method to approach a school to include their child with a disability:
Questions to choose vocational training centre:
-which vocational training centre do you think will be the most cooperative for inclusion?
-which training centre offers courses that are interesting to you?
-which training centre can you travel to with most ease?
Questions to choose method to approach local school for inclusion:
-who is the best person to meet with at the school? (e.g. teacher, principal, other parent advisor)
-what should you discuss in the first meeting? Why school will benefit from inclusion, why child will benefit form inclusion, how you can support teacher/school to include your child, other success stories of children included in other schools?
-Is it best to bring your child along for the meeting or to leave child at home?
Activity: Who knows best? (Ind/Disc)
Time required: 30 minutes
Learning objectives: To learn about when the social facilitator may know best about an issue and when the person they are supporting may know best about the issue.
Materials: Handout with the checklist below
Method:
- The trainer distributes a handout with the below question and trainees will circle either SF (social facilitator) or P (person) to indicate which ‘knows best’ on a particular issue. The trainer will explain that: “In some situations the person we are supporting may know best and there are situation where you may know best. The situations where you know best, you must be able to identify and share your knowledge with the person so they can make more informed decisions. The situation where the person knows best, you must be able to back off and let them make the decision and share their knowledge with you”. Below you are asked to distinguish these different situations.
Who knows best? (circle SF or P)
SF / P What the national disability policy and if the country has signed/ratified the UNRPD convention. (likely SF)
SF / P Which neighbors can be supportive to the person. (likely P)
SF / P What are the community resources related to vocational training (likely SF)
SF / P What trade/profession is the most interesting. (likely P)
SF / P What it feels like to live with a disability and how society treats you. (likely P)
SF / P Ways to deal with difficult people and difficult situations. (likely SF)
SF / P How to change the environment so it decreases disability. (likely SF)
SF / P What places are inaccessible. (likely P- through personal experience)
SF / P Which people discriminate against persons with disabilities (likely P)
SF / P Which local groups exist and may welcome a person with a disability (likely SF)
Can you think of any examples to list:
SF / P ______
SF / P ______
SF / P ______
SF / P ______
Activity: Helping people think for themselves (Disc)
Time required: 30 minutes
Learning objectives: To understand what makes people follow others’ thinking/orders versus thinking for themselves in life. How to encourage people to think for themselves in social work.
Materials:
Method:
- The trainer will discuss with the group the following questions:
-Who influences the way we think?
- Parents, siblings, family, friends, teachers, authority figures.
-Do you know anyone who thinks for themselves and is able to question the opinion of their parents/elders/friends?
-What are the benefits of people who come to their own decisions?
- They are able to think about what makes the most sense to them, in their generation, with their life circumstances, with their desires.
-What are the difficulties for people who think for themselves?
- Others may want to control them and their thinking and be unhappy that they are thinking independently.
-Do we want to encourage ourselves and others to think independently?
- Societies would likely be better off if people thought about what they truly want instead of what they believe they want and need, based on what others think they should want and need.
- Sometimes thinking for ourselves is difficult and we face barriers to be able to express ourselves once we know what we want. Have the group divide into 4 and work on one of the following scenarios. Each will explain how they will support the person to think for themselves and be able to communicate their feelings to their family.
Scenario 1: A young woman of 22 has been advised by her mother that she should find a good husband who has a good job and get married this year. The young woman is not sure she wants to do that and wants to do something different like maybe study/learn a trade, she is not sure if she should follow her mother’s advice, how do you help her think of her true needs?
Scenario 2: A young man is told by his father that he should inherit the family business of watch repair, the young man is not sure that he enjoys repairing watches and may not want to choose that as his profession, how do you help him think of his true needs?
Scenario 3: A young lady loves to write stories and read books but her parents think she should go into the nursing profession instead. She does not think she likes nursing, how do you help her think of her true needs?
Scenario 4: A family man has been told by his older brother that he should become a truck driver for a company in the capital city that pays well. The family man feels pressured by his older brother and is not sure that he wants to leave his wife and his young children for prolonged periods of time, how do you help him think of his true needs?
TIPS:
It helps if you can lead a person to their own conclusions by using the following verbal cues… practice using 2-3 of them regularly with people until they become automatic parts of your communication style:
- So what would you like to happen next for you?
- So what might you do differently if you could?
- So what impact does this have on you?
- So who can support you in this situation?
- So what would you advise your best friend if he/she was in the same situation?
Activity: Your first meeting with a person (Sim)
Time required: 1 hour
Learning objectives: To learn how to explain what an enabling relationship is to a person, during the first meeting asocial facilitator has with the person.
Materials:
Method:
- The trainer asks for 6 volunteers who will act out 3 scenarios (see below) in pairs. Afterwards, the group will be asked to explain how they felt the role plays were done and if they would say or do things differently.
Scenario 1: A social facilitator meets a woman for the first time. This woman appears to be very quiet and passive to the social facilitator. She nods to everything the social facilitator says. The social facilitator is explaining her role and how the woman will have to take an active role in their work and make decisions and approach people and explain her ideas/thoughts/feelings. The woman listens but then starts to say “you have to help me, my life situation is very bad, you have to do what you can to help me improve my life. I need your help. I have no one to help me.” How does the social facilitator respond to this?
Explain to the woman that each person determines their own fate and though you can guide her and give her ideas, you cannot live her life and make everything better. It is up to her to take the guidance you give and put it to use to make changes in her life.
Scenario 2: Thesocial facilitator meets the parents of a child with a disability. The parents seem very stressed and tired. The social facilitator starts explaining his work and what an enabling relationship is and how they can work together. The parents of the children say to the social facilitator: “We are very poor, we need some money for the child’s clothing and food, please see if your organization can do anything?” When the social facilitator explains that the organization has no funds to give but instead works to link people to resources and to help people find places where they can get support or be self-sufficient the mother says “That is not helpful to us, we do not need to talk to people, what we need is money, food or clothes, if you cannot give us that what is the value of your work?” Thesocial facilitator works to explain the value of their work and what they can do.