LESSONS ON COHESION

Adapted from Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace by Joseph M. Williams (7th ed.)

Part I:The Known-New Contract

Take a look at the following sentence:

(a) Some astonishing questions about the nature of the universe have been raised by scientists exploring the nature of black holes in space.

Which of the sentences below should follow the one above?

(b)The collapse of a dead star into a point perhaps no larger than a marble creates a black hole.

(c)A black hole is created by the collapse of a dead star into a point perhaps no larger than a marble.

Sentence (c) begins where sentence (a) left off: with black holes. While reading, often we feel that sentences are more cohesive if they begin with what is known to the reader (e.g., “black holes” from the previous sentence) and end with what is new (e.g., “the collapse of a dead star”). This “known-new” contract gives us a sense of flow in our writing. This sense of flow comes naturally when we tell stories. Notice in this short story how the words or phrases in bold repeat information from the preceding sentence:

Yesterday, Ronny took me to a Dave Matthews concert in Phoenix. When we got to Sun Devil Stadium, he realized that he had left the tickets back in Tucson, so he drove back to get them. While he was gone, I sat on the curb next to some scalpers. One of them started hitting on me, so I flirted with him for a while to see if I could get free tickets.

You get the idea. It is important to note, finally, that not all sentences can be made cohesive by the known-new contract. Writers can use transitional phrases, pronouns, and effective repetition to add cohesion as well.

Part II: Pronouns and Repetition

We can make our writing more cohesive by either (1) using pronouns (like he, she, we, it, him, her, this, that, these, those) to refer back to people, things, or ideas in the preceding sentence (antecedents), OR (2) purposefully repeating words or phrases from previous sentences.

Notice the way Abraham Lincoln uses both methods in this portion of the Gettysburg Address:

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation or any nation so conceived and so dedicated can long endure. We are met on a great battlefield of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field as a final resting-place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. But in a larger sense, we cannot dedicate, we cannot consecrate, we cannot hallow this ground.

Notice, too, that for the most part Lincoln uses specific nouns with his demonstrative pronouns for further clarity and cohesion (e.g., “that nation,” “that war,” “that field”).

Part III:Metadiscourse

Metadiscourse is “language about language,” or in other words, it is the way writers use words or phrases to tell readers something about the way they should read the text. Not all sentences contain metadiscourse, but effective writers use metadiscursive words and phrases frequently and purposefully to

  • reveal attitude or certainty about the subject of the text (it seems that, perhaps, I think that, as I will show, certainly, I claim/suggest/argue/suppose that, it’s obvious that, but I will discuss that later, but that is the subject of another paper)
  • instruct readers to read in a certain way (suppose that, consider now, if you take a look at, think about, as you can see), and
  • provide relationships (like transitions) between parts of the text like paragraphs and sentences (in addition, however, for example, on the other hand, therefore, first, second, third, in conclusion, of course)

Perhaps the most common type of metadiscourse is the transition (sometimes called a signpost). We use transitional words and phrases to signal to the reader the relationship between old information and new, like when we switch from one idea to the next. For example, topic sentences—the first line of a new paragraph—most often require transitional metadiscourse, and even new sentences often need smooth transitions.

Here are a few examples of conjunctive adverbs that can serve as metadiscourse for transitions between ideas, paragraphs, and sentences (notice that these adverbs can be moved around in sentences to create different emphasis and rhythm):

  • Addition/compare: moreover, furthermore, also, besides, likewise, similarly, also
  • Time: meanwhile, after, next, during, later, previously
  • Contrast: however, instead, on the contrary, on the other hand
  • Result: therefore, so, consequently, as a result
  • Concession: nevertheless, yet, still, at any rate, after all, of course
  • Apposition (examples): for example, for instance, that is, in other words
  • Summary: thus, then, in conclusion
  • Reinforcement: further, indeed, in particular, above all, in fact

Part IV: Cohesion v. Coherence

The following paragraph is quite cohesive. Notice how the use of the known-new contract, repetition of noun phrases, and demonstrative pronouns blends the sentences together to create a nice “flow”:

Sayner, Wisconsin, is the snowmobile capital of the world. The buzzing of snowmobile engines fills the air, and their tanklike tracks crisscross the snow. The snow reminds me of Mom’s mashed potatoes, covered with furrows I would draw with my fork. Her mashed potatoes usually make me sick, that’s why I play with them. I like to make a hole in the middle of the potatoes and fill it with melted butter. This behavior has been the subject of long chats between me and my analyst.

This kind of cohesive storytelling works nicely in speech when we don’t feel obligated to have a point. But in academic writing, our paragraphs should be not only cohesive (i.e., each sentence fitting together) but coherent—fit together so there is a cumulative “sense of the whole.” There is no coherent sense of the whole in the paragraph above: What’s the main point? What do all those sentences have to do with each other?

You can make your writing cohere by using topic strings effectively in each sentence. Readers expect to see the topic of each sentence in the subject position—in other words, near the beginning of the sentence before the verb. Look at this sentence from a student essay:

Going to the gym, going for a jog or a stroll through the park are just a few things that we do to stay in shape.

In this sentence, the “subject” is the long phrase underlined, but the “topic” of the sentence is the phrase in bold. Readers expect to have the topic in the subject position, like this:

To stay in shape, we go to the gym or go on a jog or a stroll through the park.

Now take a look at the subject positions and topics of a passage of writing:

The power to create and communicate a new message to fit a new experience is not a competence animals have in their natural states. Their genetic code limits the number and kind of messages that they can communicate. Information about distance, direction, source, and richness of pollen in flowers constitutes the only information that can be communicated by bees, for example.

How could we make this passage more coherent by providing a topic string? Let’s try this revision with the sentence topics moved to the subject position:

In their natural states, animals do not have the power to create and communicate new messages to fit a new experience. Their genetic code limits the number and kind of messages that they can communicate. For example, bees can communicate only information about distance, direction, source, and richness of pollen in flowers.

Notice that we create a topic string in the passage by placing the topics “animals” and “bees” in the subject position. In other words, we are giving each sentence a consistent character that does the action of the sentence. The paragraph is now more coherent and therefore easier to follow.