INT. CLUB RESTAURANT. DAY
A stuffy, Ivy League atmosphere. A decades-old tradition ofserving overcooked American food. JESSICA is seated across fromher father, Harold Hood, a retired curmudgeon. There is awalker parked by Harold's chair.
HAROLD
(waylaying a passing waiter)
I'd asked for that double martini
about three hours ago!
WAITER
Coming right up, sir.
HAROLD
So, asking me out for lunch -- what
prompted this exceptional event? --
Of course, I’m sure I'm paying.
JESSICA
We don't have to always go to your
club, dad.
HAROLD
And why are you still calling me
dad? You're twenty years old
already, and --
JESSICA
What am I supposed to callyou?
HAROLD
That's beside the point.
The martini arrives, along with JESSICA's drink.
JESSICA
I was actually trying to see about
getting a little advice, you know --
HAROLD
Advice? I'm supposed to be getting
the stock tips from you, JESSICA.
Unless - have you quit your job?
They fired you?
JESSICA
You know, dah--
She looks up and sees her father slurping his martini, notpaying attention.
JESSICA (CONT'D)
Actually it's not about work, it's
advice about --
HAROLD
Oh for crying out loud JESSICA, you
don't mean to tell me that your
marriage is going down the drain
now --
JESSICA
Well, Alex and I have kind of been
talking, not really talking, but --
HAROLD
-- Your mother, God bless her,
stood by me for forty-two years --
we never once contemplated divorce
- I assume you're talking here
about divorce?
JESSICA
But dad, you guys truly hated each
other, I mean really hated each --
HAROLD
-- Waiter! Where's my cobb salad?
You want advice JESSICA? If your big
brother were still alive I'd have
him beat some sense into your head.
Look, you married that man
against my advice --
JESSICA
-- What advice? You never --
HAROLD
That's besides the point. The point
is if I'd had any sense in me I'd
have divorced your mother 40 years
ago. And hereit is, 1972 --
JESSICA
-- 73
HAROLD
-- 73, and divorce is as easy as
paying off a traffic ticket, and
for crying out loud, JESSICA, be a man
and just get it over with.
JESSICA ponders, as the food arrives.
JESSICA
But I -- well maybe I love him.
Alex.
His father rolls his eyes and stabs his salad with a fork.
HAROLD
JESSICA! Make up your mind and eat your lunch.