Sunday April 3, 2011 Phone: 570.829.5216

Pastor David Miklas

Message: The Family of God #10 Text: Ephesians 4:31-32

“How to Forgive One Anotherin the Family of God”

Introduction: In Colossians 3:12-13 we read, “Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; (13) Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.” Please notice in verse 13, the phrase “…and forgiving one another…” In our continuing study on “How to Treat One Another in the Family of God”let’s examine the issue of forgiveness.

"I don't get mad, I just get even!" If you have ever said these words, you need to carefully listen to this sermon. Besides being loved, forgiveness is perhaps man's deepest spiritual need. The greatest forgiveness one can experience is that which God has given to us through Jesus Christ. The second greatest forgiveness one can experience is when someone forgives you or me for a wrong we have committed against them.

The Apostle Paul instructs us in Ephesians 4:31 "Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice." But, instead we shout:

Pastor, I have a RIGHT to be bitter.

Pastor, I have a RIGHT to be angry, after all look what he did to me.

Pastor, I have a RIGHT not to forgive, look what they said about me.

Unfortunately, you do not have that RIGHT. Paul warns us about bitterness and anger. Both are deadly sins, committed by an unforgiving spirit. It has been well said, "An unforgiving spirit is the Devil's playground, and before long it becomes the Christian’s battleground."

Then in those arresting words of Ephesians 4:32 he said, "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, FORGIVING one another, even as God for Christ sake, hath FORGIVEN you." Paul clearly expressed the message that it is characteristic of saints to forgive one another. Should we, who have been forgiven by God, not also forgive others?

Paul ends verse 32 by telling us why it is characteristic for saints to forgive, "even as God for Christ sake hath forgiven you." The character of God says, "I don't care whatyou've done to Me; I'll love you, I’ll be kind and tenderhearted to you, and forgive you.” Do you know something?Neither you nor I deserve this kind of forgiveness from God.

The abuses which come against us are TRIFLES compared to the mountain of sins Jesus washed away at Calvary on our behalf. There on the cross repeatedly, Jesus said, "Father forgive them, for they don't know what they do."

Oh, the severity of any offense toward us cannot compare to what Christ has suffered for us. None of us have endured what Christ endured, yet He totally and completely forgave us of all our sins.Ephesians 1:7tells us, "In whom (Christ) we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins."Thank God:

He forgives every KIND of sin.

He forgives every TIME we sin.

He forgives the very MOMENT we sin and ask for forgiveness.

He forgives sin FOREVER; He never brings it up again.

Someone said, "He who cannot forgive others burns the bridges over which he himself must pass. An unforgiving Christian is a CONTRADICTION TO THE GRACE OF GOD." The hymn writer wrote:

Since the Lord our debt did paySaved our soul in grace one day

We like Him should try to live,Always ready to forgive.

Dr. Jim Schettler gave this definition of forgiveness,"Forgiveness is a choice, to reconcile with an offender by erasing their debt and agreeing to live with the consequences of their sin."

Forgiveness is a choice,it is your choice to forgive or not to forgive another.

Forgiveness is a concern,to reconcile with our offender.

Forgiveness has a cost,forgiveness comes with a price tag.

Forgiveness carries a consequence, to agree to live with the consequences of an individual’s sin.

In light of this definition let’s look at the life of Joseph, the obscure Old Testament slave who rose to the pinnacle of power and respect. Few have known more about forgiveness than Joseph.

Joseph grew up in what we would call a classic "dysfunctional family."

Most circumstances in his boyhood were beyond his control, as after all, he was the eleventh son out of twelve, far down the line.

For some reason, Joseph’s father, Jacob favored him. Something about Joseph struck a tender cord inside of Jacob.

All this attention turned out to be a curse for Joseph instead of a blessing. The special coat he received from his father made him a marked young man. The more Jacob did for him, the more his older brothers hated him. Siblings have a way of discerning any little inequity; they noticed it right away, and they resented it.

Now to make matters worse, when Joseph was a teenager, he tattled on some of his brothers, obviously this did not improve the situation.

On top of all this, God gave Joseph dreams about the future, the future of his family bowing down to him. Joseph had not asked for this; it just happened.

Now comes the climax for Joseph. One day his brothers grabbed him in the fields, and threw him into a pit until they decided his fate. Eventually they sold him to a caravan of slaver traders. Instead of going back home, these strangers grabbed him, roughly treated him like a piece of meat, and carried him into Egypt.

But the Bible tells us in Genesis 39:2, "the Lord was with Joseph."Somehow, Joseph ends up being purchased by Potiphar, a man of prestige and wealth. In time, he made Joseph master of his house.

There was one problem. Potiphar's wife had some sexual interest in this handsome young man. In time she made her move toward him. But Joseph did not want to disgrace either God or his master by giving into this woman. If he lost God's approval, he would lose everything valuable in life. In Genesis 39:9, He said to this seductive woman, "How then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God."

Joseph quickly wrestled his way out of his coat which the woman was holding onto and ran. Isn’t it funny how Joseph seemed to keep having trouble with coats? Potiphar's wife cried "Rape, Rape," and the next day Joseph's life came crashing down for the second time as he was arrested and ended up in prison.

Yet, even in prison, God was with Joseph. His talents and honesty rose like cream to the top. Before long, Joseph was put in charge of his cell block. Months go by, Joseph no doubt thought, "Where is God in all this?" One day a couple of new prisoners showed up. They were former employees, the cupbearer and butler of Pharaoh. Both men had dreams, which Joseph interpreted for them. One fellow was released, and promised to appeal on Joseph's behalf. The other was hanged. Unbelievably, the cupbearer who was released somehow "forgot" about Joseph. For two more needless years, Joseph rotted in prison. And we think we have problems?How would you like to help somebody and have that person promptly forget you ever existed?

After two years, God stepped in to overrule human frailty. This time, vivid dreams came to Pharaoh himself. In fact they were a "double feature." Joseph was brought out of prison to interpret the dreams. These dreams in effect pronounced that Egypt would experience seven years of prosperity and then there would be seven years of famine.

Finally, Joseph made it to the top as second in command to Pharaoh. The well being of all of Egypt was at his command. I ask, "What would you have done with all this power?

Do you realize that Joseph had every reason to sever ties with his family, vent hatred on humanity, and slam the door on God...but he did not!

Even though Joseph was tossed into the blackest of pits, he emerged with an unbelievably positive attitude toward those who had done him harm. What was his secret? Let us pick up the story in Genesis 44.

A severe famine occurred in the land, but through God's intervention, Egypt was well prepared.Joseph's brothers heard of the land's abundance and made the long journey from Canaan to obtain food. While in Egypt, they encountered Joseph, the prime minister.

What an opportunity for Joseph's revenge.But instead of settling the score, we see a forgiving Joseph. In Genesis 44:1-6 we read,

“And he commanded the steward of his house, saying, Fill the men's sacks with food, as much as they can carry, and put every man's money in his sack's mouth. (2) And put my cup, the silver cup, in the sack's mouth of the youngest, and his corn money. And he did according to the word that Joseph had spoken. (3) As soon as the morning was light, the men were sent away, they and their asses. (4) And when they were gone out of the city, and not yet far off, Joseph said unto his steward, Up, follow after the men; and when thou dost overtake them, say unto them, Wherefore have ye rewarded evil for good? (5) Is not this it in which my lord drinketh, and whereby indeed he divineth? ye have done evil in so doing. (6) And he overtook them, and he spake unto them these same words.”Then in verses 7-9 notice the brother’s response, “And they said unto him, Whereforesaith my lord these words? God forbid that thy servants should do according to this thing: (8) Behold, the money, which we found in our sacks' mouths, we brought again unto thee out of the land of Canaan: how then should we steal out of thy lord's house silver or gold? (9) With whomsoever of thy servants it be found, both let him die, and we also will be my lord's bondmen.”

They were saying, "We did not do it! There's nothing in the sacks that we were not given. We came for corn. We took corn. If you can find anything in the sacks beside corn, we will be your slaves. In fact, you may kill the one who is guilty."

We continue to read in verses 11-13, “Then they speedily took down every man his sack to the ground, and opened every man his sack. (12) And he searched, and began at the eldest, and left at the youngest: and the cup was found in Benjamin's sack. (13) Then they rent their clothes, and laded every man his ass, and returned to the city.”The brothers were absolutely shocked.

They returned to the city and had an audience with Joseph, verses 14-17, “And Judah and his brethren came to Joseph's house; for he was yet there: and they fell before him on the ground. (15) And Joseph said unto them, What deed is this that ye have done? wot ye not that such a man as I can certainly divine? (16) And Judah said, What shall we say unto my lord? what shall we speak? or how shall we clear ourselves? God hath found out the iniquity of thy servants: behold, we are my lord's servants, both we, and he also with whom the cup is found. (17) And he said, God forbid that I should do so: but the man in whose hand the cup is found, he shall be my servant; and as for you, get you up in peace unto your father.”

Again in verse16 we read,"God hath found out the iniquity of thy servants."Joseph wanted to see if they had begun to read God into their daily life, even into things that seemed unfair, even into misfortune, even into death.

Again in verse 17 we read, “And he said, God forbid that I should do so: but the man in whose hand the cup is found, he shall be my servant; and as for you, get you up in peace unto your father.” Joseph wanted to put Benjamin in the same plight he was in twenty years earlier. He wanted to see if there had been a change in their heart over those years, would they go to bat for Benjamin.

At this point, Judah the oldest, stands up for Benjamin. Reading verses 18-33, we find words coming from a man who twenty years earlier had said, "Take Joseph's life, put him into the pit, get rid of him."

In verses 18-26 Judah is pleading for his younger brother.

In verses 27-33 he is pleading for his father.

Twenty years before, he could have cared less what his father thought. These are transformed men, and Joseph sees it.

Now please go with me to Genesis 45:1-4 where Joseph finally reveals himself to his brothers.

“Then Joseph could not refrain himself before all them that stood by him; and he cried, Cause every man to go out from me. And there stood no man with him, while Joseph made himself known unto his brethren. (2) And he wept aloud: and the Egyptians and the house of Pharaoh heard. (3) And Joseph said unto his brethren, I am Joseph; doth my father yet live? And his brethren could not answer him; for they were troubled at his presence. (4) And Joseph said unto his brethren, Come near to me, I pray you. And they came near. And he said, I am Joseph your brother, whom ye sold into Egypt.”

I do not think there is any way to adequately describe the emotions at that moment. There was an overwhelming sense of emotion felt by these brothers, which included feelings of intense guilt.

Carefully notice verse 5a. “Now therefore benotgrieved,nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither…” Can you believe it? When faced with people who had done him wrong, the average individual would say, "Get on your knees and stay there! I am going to teach you a lesson or two on humility." But Joseph was a changed man,and his first statement was a supportive one.

Carefully notice verse 5b, “for God did send me before you to preserve life.” Joseph was saying"It was not you who pulled off what you did to me; IT WAS GOD, who allowed it to happen. It was the sovereign God who looked far into the future. He chose me to be the instrument to solve the famine problem. You thought you had done evil to me. No way, for in verse 7 we read,it was God who went "before you to preserve life." Then in verse 8 we read, "So now it was not you that sent me hither, but God."

Now, holding your place in chapter 45, turn to Genesis chapter 50. Joseph was speaking to his brothers at a later time, as they were still wrestling with guilt. Here in verses 19-20 we read,

“And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for am I in the place of God?(20) But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.”

I do not know where you are today. The hurt you may be experiencing or the memories you may be feeling from the hurt. But I do know humanity well enough to know that most of us, at some time in our lives, have been ripped-off by someone. Now, when you are faced with a similar conflict and your prospect is cloudy:

You remember the wrong.

You remember the unfair treatment.

You remember the pain, the hurt and the rejection.

You remember how you were abandoned like a bad habit, when you truly deserved the opposite treatment.

You had given and given and given and yet you were cast away. Evil was done to you, and it was meant to be evil.

Again verse 20 declares, "You meant it for evil but God meant it for good." Now go back to Genesis 45 and to verses 9-12,

“Haste ye, and go up to my father, and say unto him, Thus saith thy son Joseph, God hath made me lord of all Egypt: come down unto me, tarry not: (10) And thou shalt dwell in the land of Goshen, and thou shalt be near unto me, thou, and thy children, and thy children's children, and thy flocks, and thy herds, and all that thou hast: (11) And there will I nourish thee; for yet there are five years of famine; lest thou, and thy household, and all that thou hast, come to poverty. (12) And, behold, your eyes see, and the eyes of my brother Benjamin, that it is my mouth that speaketh unto you.”

Do you get the picture? Joseph wanted those who had done him wrong, literally to move in right next to him. Would you want to do that for a person who has wronged you?

There is usually one thing you would like between you and that enemy – distance! But Joseph had no use for distance. He did not want to even the score. For him it was not pay-back time. Oh, how sweet it would have been, vengeance at last! But that was not Joseph’s attitude.

He had forgiven his brothers years before this encounter. To understand this go back with me to Genesis 41 and let's see what Joseph was really like, what he was really thinking.In verses 50-52 we read,

“And unto Joseph were born two sons before the years of famine came, which Asenath the daughter of Poti-pherah priest of On bare unto him. (51) And Joseph called the name of the firstborn Manasseh: For God, said he, hath made me forget all my toil, and all my father's house. (52) And the name of the second called he Ephraim: For God hath caused me to be fruitful in the land of my affliction.”