HOT THOUGHTS AND COLD THOUGHTS
Objectives: To learn and identify self angering thoughts.
To learn ways to decrease anger.
Activity: Learning About Hot Thoughts: Hot Thoughts are the things that we say both internally and out loud to keep us angry. They turn up the heat inside. Hot Thoughts encourage us to continue to be upset so that we might be tempted to do Ruff Tuff Bully Behavior. Have the children identify their Hot Thoughts. (She's mean. I hate him. He's a jerk! He did that on purpose. She doesn't care about me.) All sarcastic remarks are Hot Thoughts. Help them see that they can spend their energy on negative thoughts or in trying to solve the problem.
Ask the children what makes bully behavior. Discuss the different types of Hot Thoughts. Ask the children to give examples of each. Have the children draw a picture about someone using Hot Thoughts. Discuss these beliefs that fuel anger:
l. Name Calling: Calling other people names does not solve the problem. Name calling only keeps people angry at each other. Instead of calling names, try to figure out what to do.
2. Seeing Things Only From Your Point of View: Insisting that people see things the way that you do is another way of keeping oneself upset. Insisting on ‘My way is the only way,' is a control issue. Becoming angry because other people do things differently than you do is a waste of energy. Judgments about others and worrying about what they do uses up time that could be spent being happy.
3. Not Taking Responsibility for Your Part of the Situation: Blaming others or externalizing the blame to others is a defense against feeling bad inside. People who cannot take responsibility for their own behavior turn the energy outward to someone else.
4. Mountains Out of Molehills: Making small things a catastrophe is another way of turning up the heat inside. Blowing up over small things can be habit that has been learned as a way to deal with stress. Making mountains out of molehills can also be a way of trying to get attention.
5. Assuming Others Are Out To Get You: Making assumptions about other people's negative motivations is another way of keeping oneself angry. Children sometimes believe their assumptions to be true and act in accordance. Teach them the make the distinction between fact and assuming things to be true. Ask them to always check out assumptions. When in doubt about someone's motivations, do a Reality Check. A Reality Check is when you ask someone else for their opinion on how you view a bad situation. Remember, when it doubt, check it out!