HellWar: When Two Hells Collide
By: Zach Hennis
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this script. No copyright infringement is intended. This script was written purely and simply for fun.
Open In On: Black Screen
Ambient Sound: Demented laughter-seemingly distant
Roll Opening Credits.
AC/DC’s Hell’s Bells is playing.
A flash of light comes out of nowhere.
Pictures from the movie, “The Fog” start to go on and off the screen.
AC/DC’s Hell’s Bells fades out.
Black Screen.
The song “Jeepers Creepers” begins to play.
Pictures from Jeepers Creepers 1 & 2 go on and off the screen.
“Jeepers Creepers” fades out.
Black Screen.
Music that you would hear at a carnival or circus begins to play.
Pictures from the movies Killjoy and Killjoy 2 flash on and off the screen.
The music fades out.
Black Screen.
Suddenly “snow” (the kind of snow you get when your cable goes out) covers the screen.
Carol Anne
They’re here!
Kane
(singing) God is in his Holy Temple,
Earthly thoughts be silent now,
While with reverance we assemble,
And before His presence bow,
He is with us now as we call upon his name,
Aiding every good endeavor,
Guiding us through the rain.
The “snow” stops.
Black Screen.
The song, “Red Right Hand” begins to play.
Pictures from Child’s Play 1, 2, 3, and Bride of Chucky cross the screen.
The music stops playing.
Black Screen.
Black Sabbath’s song, “After All (The Dead)” begins to play.
Pictures from the movie “13 Ghosts” go across the screen.
Music fades out.
Black Screen.
Black Sabbath’s song “Children of the Grave” plays.
Pictures from all of the “Children of the Corn” movies go on and off the screen.
Music fades out.
Black Screen.
Iron Maiden’s song “Run to the Hills” begins to play.
We see pictures from the movies “Pumpkinhead 1-2”.
We also hear sound clips.
Chris
Ya’ll know what settles on badlands don’t ya?
Maggie
And to think, it’d be easy, need and clean and painless, you’re a fool!
Joel
You can’t help him… most you can do is take him straight to hell.
Chris
Accordin’ to the legend, if one man does somethin’ bad to another man, it’s gotta be somethin’ real bad, somethin’ like killin’, and the other man can have Pumpkinhead conjured up to take avenge.
Chris
Goddamn you, Goddamn you!
Maggie
He already has son, he already has.
Maggie
Play the final prize all the sooner.
Music fades out.
Black Screen.
Creed’s “Unforgiven” starts to play.
We see pictures from Leprechaun 1-4 and Leprechaun In the Hood flash across the screen.
Sound clips also play.
Leprechaun
It’s not nice to steal gold coins from a Leprechaun.
Ha, Ha…I want me gold.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day.
Sit back me friend, you may feel some pain…’tis a pit I forgot me novaccaine.
Levely golden palaces, completely full of riches, I’ll rip’em off and rob’em blind, those dirty sons of bitches.
Music fades out.
Black Screen.
Metallica’s “Don’t Tread on Me” plays.
We see pictures from the movie “Bones” go on and off the screen.
Music Fades out.
Black Screen.
Metallica’s :The UnNamed Feeling” plays.
Pictures from the “Omen” series cross the screen.
Music Fades Out.
Black Screen.
Whitesnake’s “Here I Go Again” starts to play.
Pictures from the movie “Night of the Living Dead” go across the screen. Sound clips are heard.
Barbara
They’re slow, we could just walk right past them, we wouldn’t have to run, we could just walk right past them.
They’re us. We’re them, they’re us.
Harry
The bodies of the recently dead are returning to life. Driven by an unknown force that enables the brain to continue to function.
Ben
This is Hell on Earth. This is pure Hell on Earth.
Music Fades Out.
Black Screen.
Black Sabbath’s “Too Late” plays.
Pictures from the “Howling” movies cross the screen.
Sound clips play.
We hear a werewolf howl.
Karen
But I have proof. Tonight out here I have to show you something. Make you believe.
George
A Silver Bullet.
Chris
Let me go, Let me go, I wanna end it. It’s the only way. I gotta end it. I gotta burn.
George
I wanna give you a piece of my mind.
Bill
You can’t tame as meant to be wild dog. It ain’t natural.
George
Don’t think somebody could’ve stolen him do ya?
Terry
He didn’t get up and walk out on his own.
Fred
That’s a lot of Hollywood bologna. Your classic werewolf can change shape any time it wants, Day or Night. Whenever they take the notion to do it. That’s why they call’em shape shifters.
Music fades out.
Black Screen.
Metallica’s “Unforgiven” plays.
Pictures from the “Wishmaster” series flash across the screen.
Music Fades out.
Black Screen.
Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust” starts to play.
Pictures from the movie “28 Days Later” go on and off the screen.
Music Fades Out.
Black Screen.
Pantera’s “Cowboys from Hell” starts to play.
Pictures from the movies “Silence of the Lambs,” “Hannibal,” and “Red Dragon” flash across the screen. Sound clips also play.
Hannibal Lector
You’re so ambitious aren’t you? You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube, with a little task. Good nutrition’s given you some length of bone, but your not more than one generation from poor white trash. A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.
Black Screen.
Same music still plays.
Pictures from the movies “Psycho” 1-4 flash across the screen. Sound clips play too.
Lila Crane
Do you have a vacancy?
Norman Bates
Oh, we have twelve vacancies. Twelve cabins, twelve vacancies.
She might of fooled me, but she didn’t fool my mother.
Lila Crane
I declare.
Sam Loomis
I don’t, that’s how I get to keep it.
Norman Bates
But she’s harmless. She’s as harmless as one of these stuffed birds. Why, she wouldn’t even harm a fly.
Mother
It’s sad when a mother has to speak the words that condemn her son.
Norman Bates
You, you eat like a bird.
Mother, my mother, what is the phrase? She isn’t quite herself today.
Mother
No I will not hide in the fruit cellar, ha ha. You think I’m fruity, huh?
Norman Bates
Well a, a boy’s best friend is his mother.
Music fades out.
Black Screen.
Metallica’s “Unforgiven 2” starts to play.
Pictures from the movie “Stephen King’s It” flash across the screen.
Black Screen.
Same Music plays.
Pictures from the “Puppetmaster” Series go across the screen.
Black Screen.
Same Music still plays.
Pictures from various vampire movies flash across the screen, we hear sound clips from “From Dusk Till Dawn.”
Seth Gecko
Those acts of God really stick it in and break it off, don’t they?
Carlos
Now let’s kill that fucking band!
Seth Gecko
Everybody be cool! You be cool!
And if there is a hell, and those sons of bitches are from it, then there has to be a heaven, there’s gotta be.
Carlos
What were they psychos…er?
Seth Gecko
They look like psychos? Is that what they looked like? They were vampires. Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them. I don’t give a fuck how crazy they are.
Black Screen.
Same music still plays with a chainsaw revving up in the background.
Pictures from “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” 1-3 go across the screen. Sound clips play.
Franklin
You’re just a cook!
John Larroquette
The film which you are about to see is an account of the tragedy which befell a group of five youths, in particular, Sally Hardesty and her invalid brother, Franklin. It is all the more tragic in that they were youths. But had they lived very, very long lives, they could not have expected nor would they haves wished to see as much of the mad and macabre as they were to see that day, for them an idyllic summer afternoon drive became a nightmare. The events of that day were to lead to the discovery of one of the most bizarre crimes in the annals of American History.
Music stops playing.
Black Screen.
We start to hear the sound of bees buzzing in the background.
We see pictures from “Candyman” 1-3 flash across the screen.
Kid’s voice/turns into a man’s voice
Candyman, candyman, candyman, candyman, candyamn.
Candyman
You brought me here.
Helen
No, no!
Trevor
Candyman, Farewell to the flesh.
Jake
Say his name five times into the mirror and he will appear.
The bees buzzing fades out.
Black Screen.
In the background we hear “Freddy’s Theme” play.
Pictures and sound clips from the “A Nightmare on Elm Street” series are seen and heard.
Freddy
You die!
Nancy
I just asked you to do one thing, just stay awake and watch me, just wake me up if it looked like I was having a bad dream, and what do you do, you shit, you fell asleep.
Nancy
Glenn! Wake up! Are you there?!
Freddy
I’m here.
Nancy
Kreuger!(echoing) I know you’re there Freddy!
Freddy
Hey, Nancy, No running in the hallways. Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Nancy’s Mom
You wanna know who Fred Kreuger was? He was a filthy child murderer who killed 20 kids in the neighborhood, kids we all knew.
Freddy Kreuger
You think he was going to get away from me?
Nancy’s Mom
He can’t get you now; he’s dead hunny, because mommy killed him.
Nancy
This is just a dream. You’re not alive. This whole thing is just a dream.
I’m gonna go and look for somebody and I want you to stand like a sort of a guard, okay?
Okay? Now you can’t mess up, a lot might depend on this.
Freddy
Every town has an Elm Street.
The song stops.
Black Screen.
Pictures from the “Friday the 13th” Series flash across the screen. Sound clips also play.
All sound clips are consumed by Ch-Ch-Ch-Ha-Ha-Ha.
Pamela Voorhees
Kill her mommy, kill her.
Crazy Ralph
Goin’ to Camp Blood, ain’t ya?
You’ll never come back again.
It’s got a death curse.
I’ve gotta warn ya…you’re doomed if you stay. Go, go! You’re doomed. You’re all doomed.
Tommy Jarvis (Kid)
Die, Die, Die, Die!
Tommy Jarvis (older)
Seeing it won’t, but destroying him once and for all will. Jason belongs in hell. I’m gonna see that he gets there.
Creighton Duke
I’m going to kill Jason Voorhees and I need your help.
Mark
Happy Friday the 13th.
The Ch-Ch-Ch-Ha-Ha-Ha grows louder, then suddenly stops.
Black Screen.
The Halloween Theme begins to play.
Pictures from the “Halloween” series go on and off the screen. Sound clips are also playing. All sounds are consumed by heavy breathing.
Harold
Michael Myers, born October 19, 1957. Killed his older sister, October 31, 1963. Killed three high school students, October 31, 1978…
Dr. Loomis
I met him 15 years ago. I was told there was nothing left. No reason, no conscience, no understanding, not even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, of good or evil, right or wrong. I met this six-year old child with this blank pale emotionless face and the blackest eyes, the devil’s eyes. I spent eight years trying to reach him, and then another seven trying to keep him locked up, because I realized that what was living behind that boy’s eyes was purely and simply…evil.
Laurie Strode
It was the boogeyman.
Dr. Loomis
As a matter of fact, it was.
I shot him six times. I shot him in the heart. I shot him six times. He’s not human.
Sheriff Brackett
You know it’s Halloween, I guess everyone’s entitled to one good scare, huh.
Dr. Loomis
He’s gone from here, the evil is gone.
Death has come to your little town, Sheriff. You can either ignore it or you can help me to stop it.
He came home.
You must be ready for him. If you don’t, it’s your funeral.
Mr. McKenzie
Is this some kind of prank? I’ve been trick or treated to death tonight.
Dr. Loomis
You don’t know what death is.
The music fades out.
Black Screen.
The Hellraiser theme plays. (The music that plays when the box is opened)
Pictures from “Hellraiser” 1-4 flash across the screen.
Sound clips are also heard.
Pinhead
The box, you opened it, we came.
Kirsty Collins
It’s just a puzzle box.
Pinhead
Oh no, it’s a means to summon us.
Kirsty Collins
Who are you?
Pinhead
Explorers, in the further regions of experience. Demons to some, angels to others.
Kirsty Collins
Go to Hell.
Female Cenobite
We can’t, not alone.
Pinhead
You solved the box, we came, now you must come with us, taste our pleasures.
Oh, no tears please, it’s a waste of good suffering.
Kirsty Collins
Wait, wait, please wait.
Pinhead
No time for argument.
Kirsty Collins
You’ve done this before right?
Pinhead
Many, many times.
Nobody escapes us.
Suppose he has escaped us. What has that to do with you?
I want him to confess himself. Then maybe, maybe…
Female Cenobite
But if you cheat us…
Pinhead
We’ll tear your soul apart.
We want the man who did this.
This isn’t for your eyes.
We have such sights to show you.
No don’t do that.
Wait.
No.
Female Cenobite
No?
Pinhead
No.
It is not hands that call us…It is desire.
Ah, Kirsty, and we thought we’d lost you.
Female Cenobite
So sweet of you to come back.
Pinhead
How can it send us back, child? We’re already here, and so are you.
Kirsty Collins
No! You…You can’t. It wasn’t me…I didn’t do it. I didn’t open the box.
Female Cenobite
Didn’t open the box. And what was it last time? Didn’t know what the box was. And yet we do keep finding each other, don’t we?
Pinhead
Oh Kirsty. So eager to play, so reluctant to admit it.
Female Cenobite
Perhaps you’re teasing us. Are you teasing us?
Kirsty Collins
But I didn’t open it. I didn’t!
Pinhead
Then why are you here?
Kirsty Collins
I’ve come for my father.
Pinhead
But he’s in his own Hell, child, and quite unreachable.
But it’s true. He is in his own Hell, just as you are in yours.
It’s different for us.
Female Cenobite
We’ve always been here.
Pinhead
We have no more surprises.
But please, fell free, explore. We’ll always be here. We have eternity to know your flesh.
Dr. Channard
And to think, I hesitated.
Pinhead
Oh. No boxes. Such a shame.
Female Cenobite
No more delays, Kirsty. No more teasing. Time to play.
Pinhead
Time to play.
No more deals, Kirsty. It’s your flesh we want to experience, not your skill at bargaining.
Kirsty Collins
No deals! Just information.
Pinhead
Go on. But trick us again, child, and your suffering will be legendary, even in Hell.
What’s this? Someone else us think escaped us, like Frank?
Kirsty Collins
No, No, this one didn’t escape. You told me you’d always been in Hell. You were wrong. Look at it. It’s you.
Pinhead
Nonsense, I…
Kirsty Collins
It’s you. Remember?
Female Cenobite
Enough!
Pinhead
Wait! I…remember.
Cop
Don’t make us put some pain on you.
Pinhead
Pain? How dare you use that word.
Cop 2
He’s got pins in his head.
Pinhead
What you think of as pain…is only a shadow.
Pain has a face.
Allow me to show it to you.
Gentlemen, I am pain.
I know your pain I hear it, “Please don’t separate me from my brother.” I give you my word…that will never happen.
A lesson, princess. Work with me, or for me.
They say the greatest suffering a parent can know is the loss of a child.
Temptation is worthless princess.
Suffering is the coin of the realm.
Music fades out.
Black Screen.
SuperImpose: Hellwar: When 2 Hells Collide
Suddenly a knife, machete, chainsaw, Freddy’s finger knives, a hook, and a werewolf claw all take pieces out of the title.
Then we see hooks, from the rotating box in “Hellraiser”, hook into the title. We hear a sound clip from “Hellraiser”
Frank Cotton
Jesus wept.
Then the hooks pull and the title explodes.
Open In on: Desert Terain-Day
A strong sandstorm is moving through the desert.
SuperImpose: Somewhere in the Sahara Desert-1953
We see a figure walking through the sandstorm.
The CAMERA cuts to a close-up of the figure.
We recognize the man as Elliot Spencer.