Grand High Witch Audition Script
GHW: The doors are bolted. You may all re-moof your gloves! And you may re-moof your shoes! And you may re-moof your vigs! Vitches of Inkland. I is harving my breakfast vis morning and vot am I seeing out ve window? Re-vvvolting reee-pulsive rrrrotten little children!
Witch 1: We are sorry your grandness. We have tried to get rid of one child a week.
GHW: My orders were that every single child in this country shall be rrrrubbed out, sqvashed, sqviirted, sqvittered and frrritered. Do I make myself clear?
Witch 2: CHILDREN ARE FOUL AND FILTHY!
Witch 3: THEY ARE DIRTY AND STINKY!
Witch 4: THEY SMELL OF DOG DROPPINGS!
Witches: POOOOOO! POOOOOOO! POOOOOOOOOOOO!
Witch 1: Tell us Oh Brilliant one what will we do?
GHW: Ve will fill every sveet shop in Inkland with Formula 86 Delayed Action Mouse Maker.
Witch 2: Oh Brainy one. Wonderful. Wonderful.
GHW: Ve vill have a little demonstration. Quick Quick! Put on your vigs and gloves and shoes. The greedy little brute vill be here in a few moments.
BFG Audition Script
BFG: looks at her and roars with laughter Just because I is a giant, you think I is a man-gobbling cannybull! ME, gobbling up human beans? This I never! All the OTHER giants is gobbling up human bean childers every night – but NOT ME! I is the Big Friendly Giant.[ta da sound effect]
Sophie: well if you are so friendly – why did you snatch me out of bed and run through the night and take me here?
BFG: Because you SAW me. Nobody can be seeing me. You would be scuddling off and yodelling the news, mimicking her and racing to the audience I SAW A GIANT! I SAW A GIANT! Then people would be rushing and bushing me and putting me into the Zoo with all those squiggling hippodumplings and crocadowndillies!
Sophie: But what were you doing? Why did you poke that long trumpet thing into windows?
BFG: I is blowing a dream into the windows of childers. He nods his head and rocks back and forward proudly on his feet
Sophie: Blowing a dream?
BFG: I is blowing nice dreams, happy dreams, lovely golden dreams. I collect them and put them in my bottles he points to his display proudly
Roald Dahl Audition Script
Belle: How did you write such wonderful characters and books?
RD: It’s not how I did it, but why. I have had some tough times. When I was 3 my sister died and then a few days later my father died and I had to learn to stand up for myself and to be brave.
Belle: Oh I’m so sorry to hear that. How awful for you.
RD: Well, it helped me to learn a few things along the way… I am a grown-up who is always on the side of children. I want to let children know they have special powers and how to use them...
Belle: We do?
RD:… and how they are able to stand up for themselves. Kids also need to have FUN! Take George for example, indicating the book she is holding. All present cast freeze in position as George and Grandma in wheelchair enter
Belle Audition Script
Belle: Your advice is as good as your stories Mr. Dahl! Do you mind if I tell you one of my other problems?
Dahl: Go ahead. I might have more characters that can help you.
Belle: Well I’m shy you see. Friendly but shy. I need to know how to be braver. It is especially important because I’m beginning at a new school soon
Dahl: Hmm. Yes. I know about that. I went to boarding school where you need to be REALLY brave.
Belle: Is that where you learnt to write?
Dahl: Not really. It’s where I learnt to use my masks! My pretend face. The one where you cant really see what’s happening inside me. Everyone uses them you know. People have different ones – polite, unkind, competitive, comical.
Belle: How do you know which one to put on?
Dahl: You choose. The one you need to practise is your brave face. Will it be smiling? Concentrating? Aggressive? In my book Witches, people are disguised. They’re experts.