Fifty Shades of They
“God’s Way, God’s They”
February 15, 2015
Pastor Chuck Cotton
The pursuit of the right THEY is all about taking action. We need to find the right people to do life with, and we need to find the wrong people so we know who to avoid.
In this message, Pastor Chuck Cotton takes a close look at a very poignant biblical character; one we can all learn from. And through this character’s life and example, we discover that the greatest way to do life is God’s way, with God’s THEY!
Outline
I. Who do you need to invite into your life? Who do you need to invite out of your life?
A. ‘They,’ ‘them,’ ‘those:’ have serious power and leverage influence in our life. They always have something to say.
B. The wrong ‘they’ stay in the way of the right‘they’ in our lives.
1. Fifty Shades of They. God is NOT grey when it comes to relationships.
2. God wants us to get rid of the wrong ‘they’ and fill our lives with the right ‘they.’
II. Friendships
A. Biggest force in our lives, relationally speaking, next to our family.
B. F.R.I.E.N.D.: Forceful Relationship Involved in Everyone’s Domain.
1. Do you have friendship and fellowship or just friendship and no fellowship?
2. Are ‘those’ that you friend and fellowship with the right ‘they?’
a. Who are you in-viting and dis-inviting to your party?
C. We yearn for friendships. Why?
1. We are made in God’s image.
2. God is a relationship creature.
3. We yearn vertically: a hole that can only be filled by Jesus.
4. We yearn horizontally: a hole that can only be filled by friendships.
III. What does the Bible say about friendship?
A. 2 Corinthians 6:14: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
1. Don’t be yoked, hooked up, or connected with people who are not followers of the Lord.
B. Math & Fractions: you have to have a common denominator to add them.
1. God wants our best relationally so He wants to make sure we have the right ‘they’ between us.
2. Make sure we have the common denominator of Christ with people we add to our lives or those we invite to our party.
C. Koinonia: original language means “to have in common” or “to have a deep intimacy with.” That is fellowship.
1. We need friends but not all of our friends have HE in the middle (tHEy).
a. We can have friendship with them but not fellowship.
b. Fellowship is reserved for those people that share the common bond of Jesus with us.
D. Yoke: piece of farm equipment used to plow fields.
1. You would hook up animals of equal strength and equal kind by putting their necks through the yoke. They were now connected together to plow the field side by side. Ex: yoking up two oxen together: equal strength, equal kind.
2. To Jewish famers, oxen were clean, donkeys were unclean.
a. What are you doing yoked to a jackass?! God doesn’t want you with that jackass! God doesn’t want you to marry that jackass! (And the Bible uses ‘jackass,’ ok?) So it’s time to get our jackass in gear.
3. Often people say, “What’s wrong with my life? Why am I so depressed? All the good things in my life are dim!”
a. Well, what ‘they’ are around you? Do a friend-entory. Look at whom you’re yoked up with.
b. Not saying to dis anybody or be mean, we can be friends with everybody, but our best friends, our closest ‘they’ need to be believers.
c. If we’re hooked up with fellow oxen we can plow row after row after row. If we’re hooked up with a jackass, we’re going to plow in circles and it’s going to be a disaster.
4. Others say, “I’ll just sow my wild oats wherever and then pray for crop failure.”
a. That’s not God’s way either. He says to be yoked with believers.
b. This isn’t God being capricious or cruel; He is being strategic.
i. Yoke up with believers and plow those straight lines.
ii. Yes, we will step to the left and right now and then, but God will warn us and take care of that.
IV. Warnings: Paul
A. Before Paul was a Christian he went around persecuting Christians. He was smart, successful, tough a nails, a guy everyone wanted on ‘their’ team.
B. God made him the right ‘they.’
1. Saul was walking to Damascus with his wrong ‘they’ and God stopped him.
2. Acts 26:14: “We all fell to the ground, and I heard a voice saying to me in Aramaic, ‘Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me? It is hard for you to kick against the goads.’”
a. Goad: another piece of farm equipment. It was a prod-a stick with a sharp end. As the farmer had his equally yoked oxen plowing the field, they would stop and rest now and then. Then the farmer would prod them, poke them, get them moving again.
b. God was prodding Saul’s life before he became a believer.
3. Saul, why are you persecuting me? There’s a better way! God my way! Saul did and he became Paul and one of the right ‘they.’
4. Is God warning and prodding you?
a. ‘Oh, but I have save him! I can convert her! He’s so handsome! She’s so beautiful!’ You’re kicking against the goad.
b. God is prodding us because He has our best interests at heart.
i. There may be loneliness and difficulty but when you’re equally yoked good is going to happen.
ii. You’ll sow seed and be patient and harvest a crop that is 100% when you don’t kick against the goad.
V. Solomon: Solo-man!
A. Brilliant writer, unbelievably wealthy, had 700 concubines, powerful and rich enough to send people to the mountains for ice for his drinks, moats around his house, etc.
1. Made allegiances with the wrong ‘they.’
a. Solo-man fellowshipped when he should have only friendshipped. Found out it was all worthless.
2. Ecclesiastes 1:14: “I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind.”
a. We will never have what Solo-man had (wisdom or possessions) but we can use this as an example of what not to chase.
3. Ecclesiastes 12:1: “Remember your Creator, in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, ‘I find no pleasure in them-‘”
a. Don’t kick against the goads!
b. If you sow seeds of rebellion you will reap seeds of rebellion. If you sow to the wind, you reap the whirlwind. Every single time. God is saving us, isn’t He?
4. Ecclesiastes 12:11: “The words of the wise are like goads, their collected sayings like firmly embedded nails-given by one shepherd.”
a. Don’t kick against the goads! Listen to the wise.
VI. Clean off the Junk
A. On the other end of the goad was a tool to scrape off the mud and muck from the blade of the plow.
1. Jesus told his disciples, if people disrespect you, if they’re the wrong ‘they,’ just kick off the dirt. Get rid of the jackass!
2. Our friends are a reflection of who we are. Do you need to scrape them out of your life?
B. Ecclesiastes 12:13: “Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind.”
1. God’s way works! The man who had it all and had done it all realized at the end that the only way was God’s way.
VII. Practical Pointers on Inviting People Out of Your Life. Who?
A. People who hold you back from your full potential.
1. Does your ‘they’ hold you back or encourage you?
2. Friends are like elevators; are ‘they’ taking you up or down?
B. People who make you feel bad about yourself.
1. ‘Those’ that bring out the negative areas in you.
2. ‘Those’ who can’t celebrate with you, only make you feel insecure about your accomplishment.
C. People who negatively impact your reputation.
1. ‘Those’ who make you feel more jealous, envious, materialistic, etc.
2. ‘Those’ you feel in competition with. The one-uppers.
3. ‘Those’ who give you a negative vibe about who you are and whose you are.
D. People who bring out the worst in you.
1. Instead of bringing out the characteristics of Christ, they bring out and expose our weak spots with no intention of helping us grow.
VIII. Living it Out
A. James 2:23: “And the scripture was fulfilled that says. ‘Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,’ and he was called God’s friend.”
1. We have to have a friendship with Christ and constant fellowship with Christ for all of this to work.
2. Foundation: intimacy with Christ.
3. Are you a friend of God? What a compliment!
4. Once we are friends of God we simply mirror that relationship with the rest of our relationships.
5. Invite the right ‘they’ into your life and uninvite the wrong ‘they’ our of your life. Plow beautifully and strategically to the places God wants to take you.