Generic Outline
Generic Outline
The following outline and accompanying list of topics are included here to help you develop presentations for your Circle Group, which are also known as “Circles of Love.”
Remember that the most important part of the talk is you, what you share of yourself, and your feelings. If you are open and honest, your talk will be terrific! Always try to limit your talk to about 20 minutes.
Preparation Before Writing - Before you even start writing a presentation for your Circle group, you will need to get some background material for the presentation you have chosen. One of the best ways of obtaining this material is through daily Dialogue.
The first step in preparing for any presentation is to select a topic from the following list. Be sure to pick a topic that both you and your spouse agree is meaningful to your relationship.
Next, write at least three Dialogue questions (more is great!) that relate to the topic of your presentation. Use both the written and verbal portion of your Dialogues as input to your presentation.
Writing Your Presentation - There are three sections to each presentation: the introduction, body, and conclusion.
The Introduction is the section that gives the couples a glimpse of what is to come. Start by giving the title of your presentation and why you selected it. It is also appropriate to give a short Scripture reading that is associated with the topic of your presentation. This will provide emphasis to your talk and help turn everyone’s focus to God and His role in our lives. The Introduction portion of your talk should be two minutes for each spouse.
The Body of the Talk is the section that contains the “meat” of your sharing and should be about six minutes for each spouse. The following are some questions that you may ask yourself to help you develop this section:
© How are we in this area now?
© How do we feel about this topic?
© What is my plan for growth in this area?
© How are we separated or united by this topic?
© Where do I want to be and how am I going to get there?
© How am I failing to love or act, and what are the effects on us?
© What do I need to change about myself to love my spouse more?
© What are the obstacles within me which I must overcome in order to grow in this area?
© How does our Dialogue help us in this area? If it does not, then what is it that we are trying to avoid?
The Conclusion will tie up any loose ends and summarize your presentation. This portion of the presentation should last two minutes for each spouse followed by a Dialogue question to be given to the Circle.
Give a Dialogue question that is appropriate to help other couples apply what you have just shared about your own lives. Provide ten minutes for writing and ten minutes for sharing.
January 1, 2000 Section V Marriage Encounter Presentation Guide Page 1
Dialogue Helps
Dialogue Helps
If you have ever found yourself at a loss of words when it comes time to Dialogue, review the following questions. These questions are designed to help make Dialogue richer.
© Tell me more...
© What “color” is your feeling?
© What does your feeling “taste” like?
© What does your feeling “smell” like?
© How does it feel to feel the way you feel?
© What other feelings are you experiencing?
© What intensifies your feeling? What lessens it?
© How does your feeling make you feel physically?
© What helps you to describe your feeling more fully?
© How do you feel about sharing this feeling with me?
© What do you like about this feeling? What do you dislike?
© Is it like ? (give a description how you think your spouse wants you to feel).
© Tell your spouse what helps you to respond better as you are reaching out to them.
© Have you ever felt this way before? If so, how does this feeling now compare to before?
© Have I ever described a feeling that is similar? How does it compare to what you are feeling now?
January 1, 2000 Section V Marriage Encounter Presentation Guide Page 1
Reasons for Writing
Rules for Sharing
Encourage Circle Members to return quietly to the group from their 10/10 Dialogue so as not to disturb the mood of others. Sharing is not two way, he/she/they/ discussion, looking for answers, asking questions, interrupting, having to make sense, noisy or loud, leaning away, rushed, witty remarks-clever comments, preaching or judging.
© Listen with no motor running.
© Stick to the subject or topic area.
© Do not judge someone else’s sharing.
© Share yourself with “I” or “Me” sentences.
© Remember, in open sharing, sharing is voluntary.
© Do not interrupt or finish someone else’s sentences.
© Do not interpret someone else’s sharing to the group.
© Do not comment on another person or couples sharing.
© Avoid saying “I agree” or “I disagree” to another person or couple.
© Listen with love in your heart; we all want to be listened to and understood.
© Remember that others are enriched when they hear you share from your life.
© Be brief if you tend to talk a lot; make an effort to share if you are the silent type.
© Whatever is said in the Circle should remain in the Circle and is considered confidential.
© Do not offer solutions; this is a time for listening and trying to understand, not for answers.
© Do not preach to another person or couple; avoid such phrases as “You should..” or “You can...”
© This is not a time for witty remarks, clever comments, attempts to ease the situation or efforts to change the subject. Any such happening can discourage the speaker from sharing again.
© Do not be uncomfortable with periods of silence; remember that it will be awkward or difficult for some people to share. If we try to keep things moving, they may never get up the nerve to share at all.
January 1, 2000 Section V Marriage Encounter Presentation Guide Page 1
F1 - Better Known as HELP!
F1 - Better Known as HELP!
You may find that you are stuck, have writers block, or can not find a good start or an idea for your presentation.
The Website is a wealth of information and assistance. You can find the WWME site as well as a host of other links for Marriage Encounter at: www.wwme.org
January 1, 2000 Section V Marriage Encounter Presentation Guide Page 1
Suitable Topics for Presentations
Suitable Topics for Presentations
January 1, 2000 Section V Marriage Encounter Presentation Guide Page 1
Acceptance
© Anger
© Babies
© Conflict
© Compliments
© Criticism
© Death
© Decisions To Love
© Disciplining the Kids
© Disillusionment
© Doing Things Together
© Eating and Dieting
© Feelings: Awareness of Mine and Yours
© Fighting and Confronting
© Forgiveness
© God’s Grace on Us
© Growing Old Together
© Handling Our Money
© Healing Old and New Hurts
© Health and Exercise
© In-Laws
© Joys In Our Lives
© The Great Jubilee
© Lessening of the Wonderment in Our Marriage
© Listening
© Living God’s Plan for Us
© Living Our Sacrament
© Loneliness
© My Masks or Behavior Patterns
© My Work and Yours
© Neighbors
© Our Budget
© Our Dialogue
© Our Domestic Church
© Our Friends
© Our Future
© Our Home
© Our Hospitality
© Our Leisure Time
© Our Married Single Attitudes and Activities
© Our Prayer Life
(or Lack Thereof)
© Our Relationship with God
© Our Self Images and How They Affect Our Intimacy
© Our Superiors
© Our Vacation
© Parents
© Pets
© Prayer
© Recreation
© Risk and Confidence In our Relationship
© Romance In Our Lives
© School or Education
© Sex: Frequency and Sensitivity
© Stress
© Television and Its Effect on Us
© Time Management
© Tithe
© Your Job and Mine
© (The) Year 2000
January 1, 2000 Section V Marriage Encounter Presentation Guide Page 1
Acceptance
Acceptance
Purpose of Presentation - The purpose of this Presentation is to explore ways in which your openness to accepting one another’s feelings can be improved and to increase awareness of possible barriers to acceptance.
Preparation for Meeting by Presenting Couple - Do your personal reflection and Dialogue on the following questions:
1. What does acceptance mean to me? What feelings do I experience when I am accepted?
2. How do I feel when I am accepting or not accepting?
3. What keeps me from accepting feelings; my own and someone else’s?
4. What feelings do you express that I find easy or difficult to accept? Give specific examples.
5. Do I allow myself to be who I am? Do I let you feel what you are feeling? Explain.
6. How do I feel when I am not trying to change you?
7. What messages am I giving myself when I do not accept myself? When do I not accept you?
8. What are some positive steps I can take to be more accepting of you?
9. Do I have enough confidence in myself and in our relationship to share my feelings with you? How do I feel when I do? How do I feel when I do not?
10. Is tolerating your feelings better than rejecting them? Explain and give an example.
11. How do I feel about the statement: “To accept is an act of the will, a decision?”
Telephone questions two, three, and four to your Circle Coordinators who will then telephone them to other couples in your Circle to Dialogue on before the next meeting.
Introduction - You may begin your Presentation with a short prayer, Scripture reading, or, both. The suggested time for the Introduction is two minutes for each spouse; read to the Circle the purpose of the Presentation as explained above. Tell what Acceptance means to you and any feelings you associate with it.
Suggested Scripture Reading - Psalm 8:5-10 or Wisdom 11:24-26 (Remind the Circle that as they listen to the Scripture, they should be thinking, “What does that mean to me? How does this make me feel? Where is God leading me?”)
Body of Talk - The suggested time for the Body of the Talk is six minutes for each spouse.
Acceptance of Self - Accepting myself will help me to accept my spouse; acceptance leads to trust.
1. How do I feel about accepting myself as I am? Can I do this “one day at a time,” or do I feel I should be something better?
1. Can I accept the fact that my faults do not make me a “bad” person?
Acceptance of Spouse - Accepting my spouse will help me to accept myself; acceptance leads to trust.
1. How do I feel about accepting my spouse as he/she is?
2. How would I accept my spouse if he/she wanted to make a major change? Example: a hairstyle, career or job change, going back to school, etc.
3. Do I try to remodel him/her to my standards?
4. How have I been accepting of my spouse’s ideas, opinions or ideas in the last week?
5. How have I not accepted my spouse this week? How does my answer make me feel?
Acceptance of Others - Accepting others (spouse, family, work associates, etc.) will help me to share more of myself and help them to share more deeply of their feelings at our Circle meetings.
1. Am I accepting of those around me? Example: work, neighbors, church members, strangers, etc.
2. How do I treat a stranger? How does my answer make me feel?
Life
1. How do I accept life with all its peaks, valleys, joys and suffering?
2. Does acceptance help me to realize God’s presence more fully?
Three Statements about Growth and Acceptance
1. Take positive steps to increase acceptance of yourself and spouse. Example: affirm yourself and your spouse; think positively; listen; confront and Dialogue. Replacing negative feelings comes through support of each other.
2. Explore attitudes behind acceptance or lack of it.
3. Explore feelings regarding the changing of these attitudes.
Barriers to Acceptance - Selfishness, pride and ego all enter into our decision whether to accept or not accept.
1. Do I have an inability or lack of desire to share my feelings? Why or why not? What are my fears?
2. How do I feel about my listening habits? Could they be improved? Do I judge what others say?
3. Do I impose my feelings on others? Or, do I accept that they need to grow at their own pace?
Conclusion - The suggested time for the Conclusion is two minutes for each spouse.
Acceptance is an act of the will, a decision to love. I must decide to “do” acceptance. I “feel” accepting, accepted, not accepted, etc. Acceptance can be learned and is an act of love.
1. How can I accept my spouse in the future?
2. What changes to I anticipate in the next five years in which we will have to face acceptance?
Dialogue Question - In what ways have I shown my acceptance of you in the past week? How does this make me feel?
Sharing Question - What acceptance do I need most from our community?
After the 10/10 Dialogue and before Sharing, you may want to review the Rules for Sharing with the Circle, especially if there are new members.
After Sharing, you may end the Circle with a short prayer, or the Our Father, Hail Mary, etc.
January 1, 2000 Section V Marriage Encounter Presentation Guide Page 1