Fifth Mentoring Session: Encourage Perseverance

Activity 1: Applying techniques for positive self-talk

Learning intention

• Students practise positive thinking techniques

• Students develop their ability to contest the pessimistic explanatory style

Equipment

• Mind-trap Scenarios

• Mind-traps and Escape Hatches

Method

a. In this activity you will help your mentee spot the kinds of negative thinking that might be affecting a character in a given situation, and make up a positive explanatory self-talk script that the character could use.

b. With your mentee read each of the scenarios that are describing people who are stuck in a situation that is causing them stress. Your mentee is going to see if he/she can detect which of the mindtraps that the person might be stuck in, and then give the character some advice which might be a bit of an ‘Escape Hatch’ for them. This advice will give them a way to argue back with their own self-talk, making a more optimistic explanation to counter the pessimistic one.

c. Role-play: (If you see that another mentor and mentee is doing the same activity as you ask them to join you and perform the following: You need 3 people...... one sits in a chair, the others stand, one at each shoulder. One mentee is to be the character in one of the scenarios (their choice), one mentor is to be the demon on his/her shoulder giving pessimistic responses and the other mentor is the angel on mentees shoulder, giving positive suggestions. (This person should try to argue back really strongly so that the character played by the mentee gets out of the pessimistic spiral!) Ask the mentee to read out the scenario, putting it into the first person. The two mentors take turns to give advice. At the end of the role-play ask the mentee which one (angel or demon) he/she found to be more persuasive. Why might this be? Choose a different scenario for the other mentee.

Coaching point: It can be useful for mentees to find a way of talking about the pattern of thinking that might have them stuck in a pessimistic spiral. This use of language helps to make the situation more objective and encourages them to see how they can also use language to ‘argue back’ or develop different theories about what might happen or what has happened.

Mind-Trap Scenarios

1. Party time?
Jinni is stressed about her up-coming 16th birthday. Her parents want her to have a party, but she is not sure. What if no one comes? What if they come and have a really boring time and then all leave early? What if her parents hate her friends because they behave badly, and then ban her from seeing them? What if everyone thinks her house is a dump?
What kind of a mind-trap of negative thinking is Jinni getting into? What sorts of positive or optimistic thoughts could she use to argue back as an alternative way of looking at this situation?
2. Secrets
Harry is really upset because his friend borrowed his bike and damaged it. He didn't even say sorry. Harry thinks he can’t even bother asking him to get it fixed because his friend does not care. He thinks he can’t tell his dad in case he gets mad about him lending his new bike. He has been trying to hide his bike from his dad so it doesn’t get noticed.
What kind of a mind-trap of negative thinking is Harry getting into? What sorts of positive or optimistic thoughts could he use to argue back with as an alternative way of looking at this situation?
3. Tryouts
Trent wants to get into the middle school soccer team, but he was never in the junior team because he missed the tryouts when he was sick. If he goes to tryouts he might look bad and not get picked – and then everyone will know and call him a loser. He doesn’t know if he is good enough or if the coach already has favourites from last year. So he is thinking, maybe he shouldn’t bother.
What kind of a mind-trap of negative thinking is Trent getting into? What sorts of positive or optimistic thoughts could he use to argue back with as an alternative way of looking at this situation?
4. Can’t get started (procrastination)
Lia can’t get started on her big English assignment even though it is now due in two days. Every time she thinks about it she thinks her ideas are dumb and she goes and plays her favourite computer game instead. When her mum checks with her about her homework she pretends that this is what she is working on while at the computer. Then the whole night is gone and her Dad has sent her to bed, and she has got nothing done. When her teacher checks on her progress during class, and asks if she wants some help, she tells her she left her work at home. She is already thinking that when the due date comes she might skip school.
What kind of a mind-trap of negative thinking is Lia getting into? What sorts of positive oroptimistic thoughts could she use to argue back with as an alternative way of looking at this situation?
Pessimistic Mind Traps can be... / Optimistic Escape Hatch would sound like....
  1. Party Time?

  1. Secrets

  1. Tryouts

  1. Procrastination