Unit 5 - LCTHAB405A

Establish habits that aid goal achievement

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Element 1

Establish the impact that thoughts and words have on emotions

The impact that thoughts have on emotions and subsequent choices

Thoughts, words and actions are the energy source that help us create what we want, or don’t want. How we think determines the language we use and what we talk about, which in turn influences how optimistic or pessimistic we feel. How we feel impacts on every decision, choice and action we make.

Every time a client says, I can’t afford it... There is never enough time for me... I can’t win or any statement which limits them they reinforce the neural pathway in the brain which keeps that belief alive.

The influence self talk has on self confidence

The brain works twenty four hours a day. It doesn’t decide if a person is able to achieve a goal or not, or whether they are worthy. It simple does what it was created to do, function automatically. The mind does not know the difference between what is real and what is imagined. So if a person constantly feeds their mind with statements such as:

I can’t win

I can’t do that

People will think I’m stupid

Those statements will become beliefs that will, over time, become self fulfilling prophecies.

The RAS (reticular activating system) is a portion of the brain which acts like a scanner. It decides which information coming in goes to the conscious area of the mind, or the unconscious. So when the brain receives constant reminders it knows what is important to a person and brings any information on that subject to their conscious awareness.

When people speak positively to themselves about themselves and their dreams, they start to believe what they say.

Tools to aid awareness as to where the client’s attention is focused most of the time

Tools to aid awareness are:

Mood diary

Self observation

Element 2

Use strategies to overcome obstacles and replace negative thinking

Benefits (pay-offs) to be gained from not achieving goals and establish strategies to replace pay-offs

A pay-off is the emotional benefit a person gains from keeping up a behaviour or having a problem. They are not always easy for the person in question to be aware of because they often represent a fear that they don’t want to face. Please note that not everyone has pay-offs.

Examples of pay-offs:

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Whenever you want to encourage someone to change a habit you need to replace it with another habit.

Pay-off / Example of a new habit
A person gains attention by constantly talking about problems
Procrastination can be a pay-off that masks a person’s fear of not being good enough

Strategies that aid the client to let go of fear

Jill Bolte Taylor, a neuroanatomist who specialises in the brain, is best known for her book, A Stroke of Insight, which she wrote after she experienced a stroke at age 37. Jill discovered what she calls the ‘90 second emotion rule‘, which means that it takes 90 seconds or less for an emotion to be triggered, experienced in the body and dissipate. Once the chemical component of the emotion is gone physiologically, anything a person experiences occurs because their thoughts continue to re-create the experience.

Everyone has a moment, albeit brief, in which they can make a new choice. When they do this repeatedly they change their perception of who they can be and what they can do and have.

When one misses the moment because they got caught up in their emotions, mentally replay the incident, then act on the four steps shown below. This sets up a neural pathway in your brain which makes it easier to act in this new improved way in the future.

It takes time and practise to develop a new habit. Create some memory aids such as:

  • Write a statement of your intention in a journal, and then read that statement every night. You could say something like, ‘I allow myself to feel all of my emotions and I let them go’.

These four simple steps can transform a person’s life:

  1. Whenever a client notices themselves reacting, feeling afraid, or experiencing any negative emotion ask them to take note of what they are feeling and allow the emotion to surface. Welcome the feeling. This is most important because by allowing their emotions to ‘be’ they release the hold that emotion has over them.
  1. Feeling means just that. When people start to think about what they are feeling it’s very easy for them get stuck in their story so suggest to your client ways they can put the thought aside and focus on the feeling.
  1. Without resistance emotions dissipate fairly quickly. The life of an emotion is 90 seconds. To let go of an emotion we don’t necessarily need to feel as if we have let it go, we just imagine letting it go. Some people imagine the fear sliding away, or they could sigh and imagine all of the negative emotions leaving their body. The technique they use isn’t as important as the act.
  1. Then suggest they act on their chosen Being Values.

There will be instances when a client has no time to act step two, so in these instances suggest they act on their values then, when they have more time have them reflect on what emotion was surfacing at that time and have them consciously imagine themselves letting it go.

Most people don’t let things go for long. They keep their story alive, and the emotions associated with that story by dwelling, or talking about, what happened in the past. It takes time and practice to let our stories go.

Strategies to replace negative thinking

Strategies to replace negative thinking could include:

  • Affirmations
  • Visualisation
  • Vision board
  • Questioning
  • Challenging
  • Replacement statements
  • Saturating consciousness with audio and daily reading
  • Minimising time spent with negative people
  • Give up complaining
  • Giving thanks
  • Cancelling the thought
  • Distraction

Questions to replace negative self talk

Tell the mind what you want by taking action towards your goal; this could be doing research, planning, saying affirmations, visualising, looking at a vision board or journaling. The more repetition and emotion associated with a goal the easier it becomes to achieve.

Disempowering wordsEmpowering words

I can’t….How can I….?

It’s no useHow can I change this pattern?

I can’t winThings always work out for me

I’m hurtI let the hurt go

I’m worried sickI trust everything will work out

I feel overloadedI am popular/in demand

I shouldI choose to

Affirmations and how to use them to create positive change

The difference between saying ‘I want to succeed’ and ‘I am successful’ is enormous. Positive affirmations mean that we say we have something beforeit shows up in our life. Remember, the reason we do this is because the subconscious doesn’t know the difference between fact and fiction.

‘I choose’ statements
If clients have trouble saying ‘I am’ statements because they know they are lying, suggest they say ‘I choose’ statements instead.

Let’s say you dislike your job and you are looking for a better one. Saying ‘I love my work’ may be a bit of a stretch, your mind may argue with you so change the affirmation to ‘I choose to love my work’.Your mind will still focus on what you want and bring ways to achieve that goal into your conscious awareness.

‘I am’ statements

Affirmations work best when they are short, in the present tense as if you already have the object of your desire. For instance a client could say:

I am a home owner (if their goal is a home of their own).

I live in the house of my dreams (if they want a better home).

I love my work and I’m paid abundantly (to create a better job, or improve the one they have).

I have more money than I will ever need (to create more abundance)

I always achieve my goals easily and effortlessly (when life seems hard).

‘I am’ statements tell the subconscious mind what we want to attract into our life.

‘Giving thanks’ statements

Giving thanks in advance is one of the most powerful things a person can do. We can give thanks before the object of our desire is present in our life and we can give thanks after it shows up.

It is the perfect way to allow no doubt and to break the worry habit at the same time.

‘I am so happy now that…’ statements

Bob Proctor suggests that affirmations be prefaced by the statement ‘I’m so happy now that.’

When most people say ‘I am so happy now that…’ they start imagining how good it will feel to achieve their goal and feeling good makes it easier to manifest the object of their desire.

Rather than just saying affirmations randomly, which are easy to forget, link them to an activity.

Write down ways a client can link and affirmation to an activity:

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Around thirty minutes a day is all it takes to establish a new neural pathway, so people need to actively look for opportunities to use this process to establish the habit.

Ninety eight per cent of all behaviour is subconscious, so to get a person to change they need to act on their new habit until it becomes automatic. Once this occurs the subconscious mind supports that choice. We re-program our mind through repetition.

Often when we make a decision to ‘be’ life often presents us with opportunities (often in the form of problems) to ‘be’ that person. At these times some people feel as if they are making no progress.

Problems, or recurring issues, present us with opportunities to act on values which help us establish new beliefs. By consistently acting on our chosen values we overcome these obstacles and change our core beliefs about who we can be and what we can do and have. When we do this many of the niggling, recurring issues we experience from time to time either go away or they don’t bother us any more.

Until we link new habits to an activity it’s very easy to forget to do them. So when suggesting a daily routine keep the following points in mind:

  • Always gain your clients approval that they are happy to establish this routine.
  • Make the routine enjoyable.
  • Be wary of having someone take on too much. If they go overboard and do too much, too soon, they may grow tired of it and give it all away. Encourage them to establish one new habit at a time.
  • Set aside a specific time. Most people clean their teeth at around the same time every day, sodecide on a time to meditate, say affirmations, or whatever method your client chooses to use to support him/her.

Use visualisation to aid goal achievement

When you make simple visualisation techniques a part of your daily life you establish a habit that supports you.

For instance you can visualise for a few minutes whenever:

you get into your car and imagine yourself experiencing a smooth journey and arriving at your destination relaxed.

while waiting for public transport

while at the hairdressers or beauty salon

in a doctor’s waiting room

By visualising repeatedly for simple everyday things it becomes a natural part of your life and you will find that you will start to do it automatically when you want something that is currently out of reach.

Remember the mind does not know the difference between what is real and what is vividly imagined.

Create a vision board

Vision boards contain images of the ideal life you would like to live.

Vision boards can be kept on a computer

In a journal

On a piece of cardboard

Or in a frame you place on the wall (KIKKI – K sells large vision boards)

The more positive emotions a person feels when they look at these images, the easier it becomes to manifest these desires. Another benefit that results from looking at images, is that it only takes a few seconds for your brain to retain an image, whereas it takes a lot longer for your brain to read and then remember the equivalent in a written format.

Ways to manage fear

Fear is a natural response and provides all of us with an opportunity to grow.

Apart from the 90 second exercise, some of the ways to manage fears are:

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Another way is to get clients to focus on their strengths or values. For instance people with:

  • the Child archetype could focus on being positive and joyful rather than on self doubt
  • the Avoider could focus on being authentic rather than the fear of conflict
  • the Caretaker could focus on being accepting rather than complaining about how little support there is
  • the King/Queen could focus on inspiring and motivating others rather than using force
  • the Politician could focus on valuing and understanding others rather than own insecurities
  • The Rebel could focus on sharing what they learn rather than the frustrations surrounding them
  • The Victim could focus on helping others rather than thinking/talking about problems
  • The Warrior could focus on what can be done now, rather than looking at how much there is to do.

Element 3

Establish ways to expand comfort zone

What comfort zone is and ways to expand it

Comfort zone is a level of mental conditioning which sets up the boundaries for how much a person allows into their lives. These boundaries create a sense of security, but they also limit how much a person can be, do and have. To step outside of a comfort zone usually creates a stress response.

1. Create a grand vision (see homework), this provides the motivation to take steps that are outside a person’s comfort zone.

2. Find a compelling reason this supports a person to be courageous. This is about focusing on why the person wants the goal rather than the way they will achieve it. A compelling reason helps people find a way where there appears to be no way.

3. Break the grand vision down into small, achievable goals.

4. Adopt habits which support the goals.

5. Take regular action towards the goal.

6. Focus on small successes, this makes it easier to believe that larger goals can be achieved.

Barriers to receiving

Many people’s automatic response is to refuse offers of help. However, when a person gives and gives without getting anything back they can feel resentful. Many people refuse offers of help without thinking about it.

Receiving may include:

Support
Praise
Compliments
Money
Gifts

Encourage clients to think twice when someone offers to do something, or gives money, think twice before turning their offer down.

Refusing an offer of help simplydeprives another person of an opportunity to give. It’s saying that their gift has no value to you.

Refusing to receive is usually about personal pride (ego).

Element 4

Establish congruence in a life coaching role

What congruence is and how to utilise it to aid goal achievement

Congruence means that a person thoughts, words and actions are in alignment with each other.

When a person is congruent and acts as if they have no doubt, this is referred to as The Law of Attraction.

Congruence in financial affairs may include:

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Congruence in appearance may include:

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Congruence in relationships may include:

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Ways congruence can be established

The process of establishing congruence, in every area of life, is the same as a physical and mental spring-clean. And, just as when you paint a room and then notice how shabby the carpet looks, the more a person progresses, the more they’ll find there is to be done.

Don’t be overwhelmed by the prospect of this perpetual spring-cleaning—there is always a way to find the time, and to reduce stress in the process. And, ultimately, the reward is much more time and energy.

Create a space for what you want

This exercise may take a lot longer than a week to complete, so when working with a client break it down into compartments. You may have a client clean out one room, or one drawer, depending upon their situation.

There are many benefits to creating order in one’s life:

Order contributes to feelings of calm and relaxation.Looking at mess or a lot of work to be done creates unnecessary stress.

Order enables one to have more time. People, who live in constant mess or chaos, spend a large amount of their time looking for things.

Order provides a space to allow more of what is really important into our lives.Sometimes a person says they want more friends but there is no time in their life to spend with friends. If a person wants more money, establishing order for paying bills and record keeping reduces stress around financial decisions. Knowing that you always have enough money to pay bills makes it easier to believe you can achieve larger goals.