There Once Lived a Chubby Boy Who Was Called Frank

Frank and the Three Bears

There once lived a little chubby boy called Frank.

He admired pink dildos and often went into the wild woods to collect them.

One day, Frank saw a purple dildo. He tried to pick it up, but the purple dildo ran away from him. Poor Frank, who just wanted to add the rare dildo to his collection, started to run after it. Soon, he was so far away from home than he had ever been before.He was lost.

He hurried on, hoping to meet someone who might be able to tell him how he could get home before his mother finds out he had disappeared.

On and on he wandered in the woods and finally in a particularly lonely spot he happened onto a neat little house. It was really the house in which lived the three bears – Daddy Bobear, Mommy Gerardabear, and their son Teddy-Ray – but Frank did not know that…

The little boy went up to the door and knocked.

No answer.

He knocked again.

No answer as well.

And so, he opened the door and went in. He was very tired and hungry from chasing that evil dildo.

Little Frankie looked around, and saw a little table set with a scary red tablecloth with guns, and on the table were three bowls – a big tough bowl, a cute pinkie bowl, and a little hairy bowl. These three bowls belonged to Daddy Bobear, Mommy Gerardabear, and Teddy-Ray.

Frank picked up the spoon, which was in the big tough bowl, and tasted the tofu with honey belonging to Daddy Bobear. It was hot, much too hot for little puffy Frank.

The little puffy Frank then turned to the cute pinkie bowl, and tasted the tofu with honey that belonged to Mommy Gerardabear. It was much too cold.

But there was still another bowl, and Frankie dipped his spoon into the tofu with honey in the little hairy bowl, the one belonged to Teddy-Ray. How good was the tofu with honey smelled! Frank tasted it. It was just right, and so he ate and ate and ate until there was not a bit of tofu with honey left in Teddy-Ray's bowl.

After having eaten, Frank wandered into the living room to sit down. There along the wall stood three chairs – a big tough chair, a cute pinkie middle-sized chair, and a little hairy chair with human face on it.

He tried the big tough chair, which belonged to Daddy Bobear, but it was much too high for the little puffy Frank.

Then he tried the cute pinkie middle-sized chair, which belonged to Mommy Gerardabear, but it was much too wide, even for such a puffy boy.

There was still a third chair, the one that belonged to Teddy-Ray. It was cozy little hairy chair with human face on it, which seemed so real to little Frankie. It looked like a very good chair for a tired puffy boy to rest in.

Therefore, Frank sat down in Teddy-Ray's chair. It was just right, and he sat so hard that he broke it. The chair squealed like it was alive, and Frank got quite a surprise when he tumbled to the floor, but he immediately picked himself up, decided he would go upstairs, and look around. He was quite sleepy right now, and maybe he could find a bed upon which to lie down.

Then puffy Frank climbed the stairs to the bedroom, and there found three beds – one for Daddy Bobear, one for Mommy Gerardabear, and one for Teddy-Ray. They were all smelly and dirty.

Frank lay done on Daddy Bobear's big tough bed, but it was too tough for him and he got scared of its toughness.

The he tried Mommy Gerardabear's pinkie middle-sized bed, but it was too much soft. Frank felt sad about it, because he really liked pinkie items.

There was still a third bed – Teddy-Ray's bed – with curly fur on it. Frankie tried to lie down in this bed, it was just right, and so he curled up and soon fell asleep.

Now, while Frank was sleeping, the three bears came back home from their walk.

They were very hungry and went at once to the kitchen to eat their tofu with honey.

Daddy Bobear picked up his spoon and was about to begin eating when he suddenly growled in his big tough voice, "somebody has tasted my tofu with honey! Mommy Gerardabear, sugar, I knew it was a bad idea to make vegetarian food."

When Mommy Gerardabear saw her bowl, she said in her girly voice, "and somebody has tasted my tofu with honey, too! Teddy-Ray, darling, what's wrong?"

Teddy-Ray saw his empty little hairy bowl, and began to cry. "Somebody has eaten my tofu with honey, and now I have nothing left to eat!"

Then the three bears went into the living room to sit down and rest.

Daddy Bobear noticed that his tough chair had pulled out of its usual position.

"Somebody has been sitting in my chair!" he grumbled in his tough voice and sat on the big chair.

"And somebody has been sitting in my chair!" cried Mommy Gerardabear.

Teddy-Ray began crying harder than before. "Somebody had broke Mikey!" he sobbed.

Teddy-Ray has no chair to sit on. Mikey was broken.

After Daddy Bobear tried to calm Teddy-Ray down, the three bears decided they would go upstairs to rest. They would take a short nap and then think of a way to fix Mikey.

As they entered the bedroom, Daddy Bobear glanced at the big tough bed. “Somebody has been tumbling in my bed!” he growled

"And somebody has been tumbling in my bed!” Moaned Mommy Gerardabear in her turn, and messed her pinkie bed again.

All this time Teddy-Ray had been staring hard at his own furry bed. Finally, he found his voice and piped up, "somebody has been tumbling in my bed, and there he is!"

At the sound of Teddy-Ray's voice, the puffy boy woke up. He sat up and, trying to understand where he is. Then it hit him. He was at the three bears' house!

Frank sprang out of Teddy-Ray's bed, and dashed down the stairs. However, his way was blocked. Mikey was standing at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for him.

"Mikey?! What are you doing here?" Frank asked him nervously.

"You fucking broke me dude, I'm not a chair! Now my back hurts like hell, thanks to you," Answered him Mikey furiously.

"But… what are you doing here? Isn't it the three bears' house?"

"Well, it is, Frank. Where else do you want to live, in a tent?"

"So why are you here, they'll eat you if you stay!" Frank said.

"What's wrong with you today? Bears don't eat other bears," giggled Mikey.

"You're a bear, then?" he asked, frightened.

"Duh! If we're My Chemical Bears, we must be bears," explained Mikey.

Frank woke up in his bed. It was 5 AM. He never wakes up so early. Damn.

He got off his bed and walked down the stairs to the kitchen. That dream was far too odd for Frank and it made him hungry.

When he got to the kitchen, he saw the fridge's door wide open. When he turned to look the other way, he saw a big bowl full of tofu with honey, and Gerard sitting there and eating in his stupid bear costume.

All was well.