Jane Schaffer Review
The Prompt: Analyze Cinderella’s view on her life with her step- family.
Answer: Match the sentences below with the type of sentence they are. Use your colored pens to draw your lines.
1. For example, she does all the cooking, cleaning, and sewing.
2. Cinderella leads a miserable life.
3. This shows that she feels taken advantage of by her selfish stepmother and stepsisters.
4. As a result, she is more than welcoming for a way out of her miserable surroundings.
5. This is important because her horrible life gives her a present, her fairy godmother.
A. Topic Sentence
B. Concrete Detail
C. Commentary #1
D. Commentary #2
E. Concluding Sentence
Put it altogether!!! Use your colored pens and write the complete paragraph together below once your matching complete.
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Can you Jane Schaffer???
With a partner, read and respond to the following prompt in an 8 sentence Jane Schaffer paragraph (that means 2 concrete details and 4 commentaries).
Prompt:
Gage Middle School is a good school, but even good schools have some problems. Choose a rule you think needs to be changed or eliminated, or a problem that needs to be solved at our school. State the rule or problem in your Topic Sentence and give your reasons why the change needs to be made through your concrete details and commentaries. Be sure your reasons are clear and explained.
Pre-Writing:
1. Pick 3 rules or problems that you want to fix, list them here
a.
b.
c.
2. Which one do you have the evidence to prove is a real problem at school? ______(this one will turn into your Topic Sentence)
3. With bullet points pick two concrete details and four commentaries to validate the reasons you chose that rule or problem. (Use your colored pens)
Concrete Details Commentaries
Rough Draft: Now put your paragraph together. Do not forget to use your colored pens for each sentence and include a strong Topic sentence and Concluding Sentence.
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Peer Edit: Swap your paragraph with a neighbor and have them answer the following about your paragraph.
1. Are all the sentences written in the right color (Blue-Topic Sentence and Concluding Sentence, Red-Concrete Detail, and Green-Commentaries)? Y___ N___
2. Does the topic sentence say what rule or problem they think needs to be fixed? Y____ N____
3. Are there two concrete details (facts) about the school that cannot be argued?
Y____ N____
4. Do they have 2 commentaries after each concrete detail? Y____ N____
5. Do there commentaries directly relate to the concrete detail before?
M Y____ N____
6. Do there concrete details provide their own interpretation of the concrete detail? Y____ N____
7. Is there a concluding statement a rephrase of the topic sentence that gives no new information? Y____ N____
**For any “No” answers make notes in their paragraph on how to fix it**
**Proofread and circle any spelling mistakes, do not fix them **
AVID Lesson Plan
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Dispatch: Jane Schaffer review paper (they have notes on this they need to use with questions, they also have the colored pens).
Correct Dispatch
Answer Key
TS-Cinderella leads a miserable life.
CD-For example, she does all the cooking, cleaning, and sewing. CM #1-This shows that she feels taken advantage of by her selfish stepmother and stepsisters.
CM #2-This is important because her horrible life gives her a present, her fairy godmother.
CS-As a result, she is more than welcoming for a way out of her miserable surroundings.
Final Writing of Paragraph: Give 5 minutes for them to put it together in paragraph form, using the colored pens. Students put this form in their AVID section.
Can You Jane Schaffer? Handout, work in pairs, give them 30 minutes to do pre-write and rough draft
Swap and do Peer Edit-10 mins
Then write final draft on separate piece of paper, turn in at end of period.
If time/HW: Handout Math Problem Jane Schaeffer paragraph.