2SAMUEL – LESSON 5

“A Friend for the Day of Adversity”

Kay Arthur, Teacher

There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother, and closer than a son. I don’t know, precious one, if you have ever felt the enormous pain of having a child of yours turn against you, reject you, talk against you, become your enemy. I have. I have been there, and I have been through it, and it is enormous, enormous pain. I don’t know if you have ever had someone in an organization, possibly where you were in charge, or a group where you were in charge, and had someone in that group who said they were your friend who tried to come against you, tried to draw others away after his or her own pursuit or desire. I don’t know if you have been there, but it does bring enormous pain. I know, because I have been there. Yet I can tell you that even when your family members turn against you, even when those who are working under you, or working with you, turn against you, there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. There is a friend, and His name is Jesus. He said to His disciples, in John 15:15, after He had been with them in the upper room on the way to Calvary, He stopped, and He said,“No longer do I call you slaves or servants…but now I call you friends.” We have a friend, and because we have a friend, no matter what comes our way, you and I can make it.

We want to look at 2Samuel 15. I simply want to give you an overview of what happens in each chapter. In Chapter 15, we have David leaving Jerusalem. In Chapter 16, we have Absalom moving into Jerusalem. And as Absalom moves into Jerusalem, you know that it is because he has won the hearts of the people, and because he is now declaring himself to be king. So Absalom moves into Jerusalem. Then in Chapter 17, we have Absalom pursuing David. We know that he pursues David on the advice of Hushai. In Chapter 18, Absalom dies. When Absalom dies it brings incredible pain and enormous grief into the heart of David. In Chapter 19, we have David mourning, David recovering,and David returning to Jerusalem. Let’s put it down; David mourns, David recovers, and David returns to Jerusalem, the HolyCity. In Chapter 20, when he returns the kingdom is no longer united, but the kingdom divides, because the tribes go against one another. They call people to leave David. So what does Joab do? Who is Joab? Remember, Joab is David’s commander. The kingdom divides, so to speak, and Joab unites the kingdom back again under David.

As we look at these friends of David and these enemies of David, I am going to keep going back and forth, back and forth, because I want to put together what each friend does. As we look at this, I want you to see that you can survive, no matter what happens to you. No matter what happens to you with your family turning against you, or no matter what happens to you with a friend or someone coming and usurping you, you can survive. I survived, and you can survive.

Let’s put down four things that caused me to be more than a conqueror. I think it is four things that caused David, in all of this, to be more than a conqueror. #1. You can survive because of thegrace of God. So as you see David leaving Jerusalem, and his son moving in, and Absalom pursuing him into the wilderness, and Absalom dying, and David mourning, recovering, and returning to Jerusalem, and then the kingdom divided and then reunited again by Joab, David survives. He survives because of the grace of God. But,#2. He also survives because of the loyalty and support and wise counsel of the friends who stood with him along the way. And I survived because of the counsel, and the support, and the loyalty of my husband and of my friends who stood by me. #3. He survived because he listened(not all the time)to wise and true counsel. #4. David survived because he was willing to hold it in an open hand. We are going to see that, as we go through, because David, as he is leaving Jerusalem, when they get ready to leave with the ark of the covenant, is going to say, “No, you take the ark of the covenant back to Jerusalem. If God so ordains, I will return to my holy habitation, and I will return and I will see the ark there—if God ordains.” So he survived because he was willing to hold the situation in an open hand.

Now let’s look at David’s heart,right here in Chapters 15 and 16, as it is ripped apart. Go 2 Samuel 15:6. “And in this manner Absalom dealt with all Israel who came to the king for judgment;”[Now what was he doing? When he would go out, he would tell the people, “Listen, come to me,” and he would kiss them, and he would say, “If I were king I would be more available to you, etc., etc., etc.”] “So Absalom stole away the hearts of the men of Israel.”[David has all this going on behind him, and David doesn’t even know it.]

I remember when my son, Tommy, (and he doesn’t mind me telling the story. I have permission, because he has come to the Lord, and he is so precious and so dear, and he loves his momma). Anyway, I think he loved me all the time. He just had to get over a bunch of junk from my past and the consequences that it had on his, and just some other ungodly influence in his life that he listened to that just built it up and built it up. But I remember when I would find out that my son, who worked for us, would talk about us behind our back. He would cut us down behind our back. And when you find that out, it just rips your heart out. You think,“God, God.” This is what happened with Absalom.

(12) “And Absalom sent for Ahithophel the Gilonite, David’s counselor, from his city Giloh, while he was offering thesacrifices. And the conspiracy was strong, for the people increased continually with Absalom.”[Now who was this man that Absalom has called, and said,“Come and join me?” In the verse before, he has taken 200 unsuspecting men whose hearts are right before God and before David, and he has them marching along the highway with him, and they are unsuspecting. But they are marching along the highway, because what is Absalom doing? He is declaring himself king. He’s going to take over the throne. “We are going to have a coup.” But as he does this, he gets Ahithophel, and he tells Ahithophel, “You come to me.” And all we read here is who Ahithophel is. But I want us to go to 15:31, and I want us to look at him. “Now someone told David, saying, ‘Ahithophel is among the conspirators with Absalom.’ And David said, “O Lord, I pray, make the counsel of Ahithophel foolishness.”[Now listen, David is leaving Jerusalem. Absalom is moving in, so he is taking Ahithophel with him. Now who is this man? What makes this man so absolutely outstanding?]

Go to 16:23. “The advice of Ahithophel, which he gave in those days,” [not just the days that he was giving counsel to Absalom, but in the days surrounding all these events, or leading up to these events]“was as if one inquired of the word of God;”[In other words, when they went to God, and said, “God, what should I do?”, and God spoke to them,it was the same when they went to Ahithophel like getting the word of God, because his advice was so good, and it was so godly.]“so was all the advice of Ahithophel regarded by both David and Absalom.”[So Absalom realizes that here is a man who is wise. “Here is a man that gives great counsel, and if I am going to work this coup, then I am going to have to get a wise counselor with me.” So he goes, and he gets Ahithophel. Ahithophel has also been a counselor to David. So as he goes to get this man, you have David, all of a sudden, finding out. “Oh, my goodness, Absalom is coming into Jerusalem. Absalom has Ahithophel with him, and God, I am just praying that You will make the counsel of Ahithophel foolishness. God, You are my hope.”]

So when you are in a situation, and you have your friends turning against you, or you are having a coup of some sort, so to speak, what do you want to pray? You want to pray that God will protect you by taking counsel that others are going to give them that would help them achieve their terrible means, to make it foolishness. So even with Tommy, I would just pray, “O God, O God, let people see that what he is saying is not right. You protect me against this. You protect me. You are God.” So this is what David does.

As David leaves Jerusalem, how does he leave Jerusalem? (15:30) “And David went up the ascent of the Mount of Olives,”[As you look at this, if you have been to Israel with us, you know exactly what is happening, and you know exactly where you are, because if you were standing on the Mount of Olives, this is the Kidron Valley between you and me, and up here is the temple mount. But there is no temple yet, because Solomon is the one who is going to build the temple. But right over to the left side of all that is the city of David. So David leaves the city of David, crosses over the KidronValley (also called the Valley of Jehoshaphat), and he crosses over that valley, and he goes up the ascent of the Mount of Olives. As he goes, listen to him.] “and wept as he went, and his head was covered and he walked barefoot.”[He’s not riding a white mule which the kings would ride;he’s not riding a white horse, because a white horse means you are coming to conquer. He is going away in shame, so he is walking. He is walking barefoot, his head is covered, and he is weeping.]

Have you ever been there? Just walking away from everything, in a sense, just heart broken, your heart torn apart, because your child has turned against you? You almost feel, as you walk down and along, “Who am I, God, and how can I continue to minister?” There were times I remember going up to the barn, a two story hip-roof barn, and standing up there in that loft, and teaching, but my mind going over all the pain and the hassle that I had just had with my son, and thinking, “How can I stand and teach?” We didn’t know of any outward rebellion, or we would have had to change things. He came to Bible study, and he did all this and all that, but it was seething in there. And you think, “How can you go on?” Or, you are in ministry, and you find out that someone has come along, and is trying to take part of the staff away and establish their own ministry, and you think,“God, God.” You are, in a sense, weeping; your head is bowed, you are barefoot, but God is on His throne. God is on His throne. Listen, all those things, and you can see the joy on my face as I am teaching you all this, why? Because I am on the other side of it, and these things are true, but David is not on the other side of it. David is leaving Jerusalem.

Let me just show you David’s heart. (15:25) “The king said to Zadok, ‘Return the ark of God to the city.’”[He’s talking about the ark of the covenant, because the ark of the covenant held the ten commandments, held the tablets of stone, and the ark of the covenant was where the shekina glory would be over it. It was the symbol of the presence of God.] (25)“The king said to Zadok, ‘Return the ark of God to the city. If I find favor in the sight of the Lord (if it turns out for good), then He will bring me back again, and show me both it and His habitation. (26) But if He should say thus, ‘I have no delight in you’, (now watch what he says) behold, here I am, let Him do to me as seems good to Him.’” [Oh, doesn’t that speak highly of David? “God, I trust you.” Why? Because God was his God, and he knew who He was; and he knew that God could be trusted, and that His sovereignty ruled over all. Now as he leaves Jerusalem, he is weeping unabashedly. The people join him.] (30b) “Then all the people who were with him each covered his head and went up weeping as they went.”

As he leaves Jerusalem, who is going to stand with David? Who is going to be his friend? Who is going to be his counselor? Who is going to be his enemy? I want to look at these people, but before I do, I want to give you a few Scriptures about friends, just so that you have them. I know that if you did your homework last week, and you got to Day Five, and you worked on friends, that you probably put all these things down—but it was last week. So let’s do a little refreshing here. Psalm 15 asks a question. (1)“O Lord, who may abide in Your tent? Who may dwell on Your holy hill?”[In other words, who can come into your presence, God? In Psalm 15:2-3, he answers it.](2) “He who walks with integrity, and works righteousness, and speaks truth in his heart. (3) He does not slander with his tongue, nor does evil to his neighbor, nor takes up a reproach against his friend;”[In other words, if you are going to live with God, and Jesus says, “Now you are my friends,” then we have to be true friends. We can’t come along and take up a reproach against a friend. You say, “But what if that friend is wrong?” Well then, in love(Faithful are the wounds of a friend, and deceitful are the kisses of an enemy;), so we will go, and we will share, but we will not take up a reproach against a friend. We will find out the facts. We will do what we are supposed to do.

Go to Psalm 41:7. (And there are many other verses that we could look at.) (7)“All who hate me whisper together against me;”[We are going to see Shimei. He didn’t whisper against David; he shouted, and he yelled, he threw stones and he cursed.]“All who hate me whisper together against me;”[Have you ever walked into a room and saw a group of people together, and all of a sudden,______(silence)? What are you thinking? “They are talking about me.” This is what David is talking about here.] “Against me they devise my hurt, saying, (8) ‘A wicked thing is poured out upon him, that when he lies down, he will not rise up again.’(9) Even my close friend in whom I trusted, who ate my bread, has lifted up his heel against me.”[So you know the pain that he felt.]

Proverbs 17:17 says, “A friend loves at all times,”[Even if you see somebody going over a cliff, you’re going to love them all the way, until they go over the cliff. When they fall off the cliff, where are you going to be? At the bottom—to help them up.]“and a brother is born for adversity.” [Now, does David have any brothers during this time? Are there any friends that are there to be his brothers in this day of adversity? Yes, he has them, and we are going to see them (and it is wonderful).]

Go to Proverbs 18:24 says, “A man of too many friends comes to ruin (he can’t keep up with them all), but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”[Maybe, as you are listening to this, you are feeling very lonely, like you don’t have a friend, and you are hurting because of that, precious one. Well, just know this; go to God, and ask God to give you a friend. But also, maybe you need to ask God to show you who you should befriend, because that is a ministry in itself, to come along and be a friend to people.]

When I go to the National Religious Broadcaster meeting, I remember my first days there, and I remember when I didn’t know anybody or anything. Whenever I go there, I pray, “Lord, just show me who You want me to encourage, and who You want me to talk to.” This time when I was there and just walking through the display area, this guy just grabbed me. I had met him, and he was sitting all alone at the NRB in Nashville, at OpryLand, at the hotel. I was eating with some people, and I went up to the buffet, and got something. I saw this young man sitting there all by himself, so I smiled at him, and he smiled back at me. On the second or third trip, I thought, “I am going to go over and introduce myself to him.” So I went over and introduced myself to him. This was his first time at the NRB, and he didn’t know a soul, and he felt so defeated, because he wasn’t getting anywhere. He had come because God had laid on his heart the burden of having a television station—working full time, but having a television station. He needed some connections. I asked him if he would come over and sit at my table, and we started talking. Now, three years later, he is on 24/7, around the clock, and God is using it, but he told me when he grabbed me, “That was the beginning. You helped me. You connected me to the right people that could help me.”

Another one was a little couple. You could tell that they didn’t have much means, or anything. You looked at them, and you knew that they were probably foreigners. They were a Romanian couple that had this vision for television for Romania. I became friends with them; I put them in touch with everyone, put them in touch with Joe, and Joe got them in touch with others. They left here with equipment, and cameras, and everything. It was just awesome what God did. We need to be a friend, and we need a friend.