Rabbi Lefton’s notes from 2016

Remembrance and Butterfly Release Ceremony

Relationships with family and friends are everything. We say L’Chaim in Judaism, to Life- and we mean it! We think of, celebrate and care for those we love. We share so much with family and those in our lives! The hugs and kisses, the stories, learning from each other, observing the holidays….the simchas, happy times, and the sad times as well. There is nothing harder than losing someone we love.

We gather today, to support each other and release a butterfly of love, hope, and remembrance.

There are so many ways to remember in Judaism, We sit Shivah, say Kaddish, light candles, gather to remember. No one can do it for us; we have to have our own moments of tears, quiet and remembrances. Do you remember something distinct about your loved one – Maybe a certain scent (My Grandma wore the old time classic perfume Shalimar), saying or a song; or trip you used to take? Maybe you think about games you used to play together, the smell of foods for the holidays, family times together. All the laughter, the love and the tears.

As a rabbi, I have officiated hundreds of life cycle events; and many times when I am with a family mourning, at a cemetery, I look up and see a butterfly. A butterfly on a shoulder, floating around in the grass, all too often the butterfly makes its fluttery appearance. Colorful, graceful, free, floating and flitting around a sad moment with elegant presence and purpose. I think to myself, I know the purpose of this butterfly, the butterfly represents the soul of the loved one we are here to remember. I wonder if anyone else notices – the loved one is watching from Olam Habah, from the heavens above.

The butterfly is a symbol of remembrance. There is an old American Native American Story that says if a person whispers a wish to a captive butterfly and then releases it, the message will be sent to the “Great Spirit” and the wish will come true. The Monarch Butterfly is widely recognized as the symbol of remembrance. Images of Butterflies were found in prayer and poetry during the time of the Holocaust and on concentration camp walls—Drawings and carvings were found by the children and adults.

The butterfly symbolizes the transition between life and death. The caterpillar forms a chrysalis and prepares to leave life as he knows it, to become a lovely butterfly.

May the butterfly represent for you, all that is beautiful in life.”

By Rabbi Deborah Lefton May, 2016

“The footsteps of human beings are directed by G-d (Psalms 37:23). Wherever we go, we have a mission to accomplish. Like butterflies, we can help others and accomplish good things everywhere we go, even when we are having fun.