Surrealist Award! in the Running, So Far: Dustin S Toaster Poem and Jimmy S Pen Poem

Surrealist Award! In the running, so far: Dustin’s toaster poem and Jimmy’s pen poem.

Interesting Samples from Class Work

1.

“I’m smarter than gum” (Michaela’s story—see this piece for its goofy, well-written weirdness!)

2.

“The gentle breeze runs through my hair,

it smells of carmel…”

(Janel’s “With My Heart”—interesting, surprising, and sensory word choice: CARMEL wind!)

3.

Now I’ve seemed to find my way

And still I’m all alone

Now I think I know my worth

It’s very close to none. (Jackson’s “Lost and Alone”—nice example of partial rhyme)

If you only had one breath

One breath left on Earth (Jackson’s “One Breath”—more soft, partial, or slant rhyme)

4.

Hearts are still broken from words left unspoken

And my wrists have bled from the tears that I’ve shed (Jimmy’s “Today is the Day”—internal rhyme)

5.

“You are mysterious, muscular, murky, and dull”

(Dustin’s toaster poem—great musical line)

Example of BAD WRITING:

Example of easy & dull end-rhyme, wooden (excessively regular), sing-song rhythm, and syntactical inversion (straining after the end rhyme):

As I went down the trail I heard a loud bee.

When I turned the first corner a deer I did see.

To the top of the mountain I hiked sure and slow;

To the glories of nature I do love to go.