Definitions of an Ally

Being an Ally is the process of working to develop individual attitudes, institutions, and a culture in which people feel they matter. This work is motivated by an enlightened self-interest to end oppression.

J. Jay Scott and Vernon Wall

An Ally is someone who actively supports and defends the rights and dignity of individuals from social groups other than their own, especially when these individuals are not present or otherwise unable to represent themselves.

New Perspectives

An Ally is a person who is a member of the ‘dominant’ or ‘majority’ group who works to end oppression in his or her personal and professional life through support of and as an advocate with and for an oppressed population.

Jamie Washington and Nancy Evans

Qualities of an Ally

An Ally:

  1. Has worked to develop and understanding of the needs of gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender.
  1. Chooses to align with gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender and respond to their needs.
  1. Believes that it is her/his self-interest to be an ally for the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community.
  1. Is committed to the personal growth required of an ally.
  1. Is self-confident, strong willed and secure in her/his own sexuality.
  1. Has a good sense of humor.
  1. Feels pride and appreciates the successes of one self and the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community.
  1. Expects support from other allies as well as the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community.
  1. Is able to acknowledge and articulate how patterns of oppression have operated in their lives as well as recognize and create an awareness of similar patterns in the lives of gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgender.
  1. Must be realistic, optimistic and still expect some setbacks but not use them as an excuse for non-action.
  1. Is willing to face other’s assumptions, right or wrong, about their sexuality.
  1. Realizes that she/he as well as the members of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community have a clear and defined responsibility towards change and that levels of change may not be equal or even reciprocated.
  1. Knows that, as a heterosexual, an ally holds the power necessary to initiate change toward personal, institutional, and societal justice and equality.
  1. Recognizes that she/he is responsible for humanizing or empowering their role in society particularly with response to gays, lesbians and bisexuals.
  1. Promotes a sense of community with the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community and teaches others about the importance of outreach.

Adapted by K.J. O’Bryant, ACUHO-I Intern, Iowa State University, from “Common Language” by Vernon A. Wall

Benefits of Being an Ally

  • You open yourself up to the possibility of close relationships with an additional 10% of the world.
  • You become less locked into sex role stereotypes.
  • You increase your ability to have close and loving relationships with same-sex friends.
  • You find security in your own sexuality.
  • You develop a stronger sense of self-worth.
  • You have opportunities to learn from, teach, and have an impact on a population with whom you might not otherwise interact.
  • You may be the reason your son, daughter, sister, brother, minister, doctor, lawyer, teacher, mother or father finally decides that his/her life is worth something and that she/he does not need to depend on chemicals or other substances to get through the day.
  • You may make the difference in the lives of adolescents who hear you confront antigay, antilesbian or antibisexual remarks that make them feel as if they want to drop out of junior high, high school or college. As a result of your action, they know they have a friend to turn to.
  • You and your support may be the factor that keeps someone who is gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender from ending his/her life because of the oppression and depression surrounding his/her life and sexuality.

The Four Developmental Levels of Being and Ally

  1. Awareness

Explore how you are different from and similar to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. Gain this awareness through talking with gays, lesbians, bisexual and transgender people, exploration of gay culture through literature, film and art, attending workshops, as well as self-examination and security in your own sexuality.

  1. Knowledge and Education

Research policies, laws, practices, and movements and how they affect gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgenders. Educate yourself on the language and symbols that define the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender communities and cultures.

  1. Skills

Develop the skills necessary to communicate and distribute your new found knowledge of the gay, lesbian and bisexual community to others. Attend workshops or presentations, take classes on speech and communication, role play with friends or peers and find support through these and other connections who can provide feedback on your ideas.

  1. Action

This is perhaps the most frightening and challenging step but it is not enough to just be informed. You must begin to effect the lives of others and make changes, both social and institutional. You must challenge yourself and others in the beliefs and stereotypes surrounding gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transgenders. Without action, change will never occur.

From “Becoming an Ally” by J. Washington & N.J. Evans in Beyond Tolerance; Gays, Lesbians and Bisexuals on Campus, N.J. Evans & V.A. Wall (eds.) 1991.