Creating and Presenting – Part B Exam

Examiners Report - 2010

Students who wrote excellent responses were obviously thinking about responding to the prompt as written. They used their understanding of the text(s) and concepts from their Context study to inform the ideas they explored within their writing. The less successful responses did not think critically about the idea that the prompt was communicating or ignored the prompt altogether. The more successful responses got to the core of the prompt instead of treating it like a text response. Students need to be reminded that there is an important distinction between the Context they have studied and the task they are required to complete in the exam – that is, to explore the idea that is represented in the prompt.

… the ideas of the prompts must be explored. It is important that students have an exact understanding of the core of the prompt.

Weaker responses tended to be either too broad and neglected discussion of the prompt, or consisted of pre-prepared responses that did not respond to the prompt directly at all.

While students are free to create a response that is an expository, persuasive or imaginative piece of writing, the piece itself must explore the nominated Context and respond to the prompt offered for that Context. In addition, the instructions are quite clear about the expectation of the connection of the response to the student’s nominated text.

The Crucible

Sample response from 2008 exam

‘In times of conflict ordinary people can act in extraordinary ways.’

This sample is an internal monologue from the perspective of one of the young girls in Salem. It is a sophisticated interpretation of all aspects of the prompt, with a strong command of style, vocabulary and writing.

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go. In part I was afraid, but mostly I thought that it was wrong. But Abigail can be really persuasive. ‘There’s nothing to worry about. It’s just sport is all,’ she says. ‘Trust me. No one will wise up to it, she says. ‘It’ll be fun,’ she says. And, foolishly, I believed her. I wholly believed in what Abigail told me. That night, when we danced under the cover of the trees and Tituba chanted her Barbados songs, I thought that it was fun. When I cast a spell to make William Smith love me, I knew that I wan’t really witchin’ him – I was only playing is all. And when Abigail drank the blood – a charm to kill Goody Proctor – I only thought it to be some kind of strange sport. ‘It’s just sport is all.’ We thought that we was having fun. But how fast our fun turned sour. And once our fun had gone bad we had to fix it for ourselves. We only thought about doing the right thing by us, didn’t worry none about the others. I don’t understand how we allowed ourselves to become so corrupt. Or why they did not see us for our fraud. I may not fully understand how we came to ruin everything – but we did...

There was Tituba. She was shaking. As she cowered down on her knees her hands trembled like she had caught some kind of fever. Tears poured down from her wild eyes. And there was Reverend Hale. He stood over her asking her questions. All that Tituba could answer was, ‘I love God with all by bein’’, and, ‘Bless him – bless God.’ Then out of the hysterical woman’s mouth came the name ‘Sarah Good.’ That was the moment. That was the beginning to all this deceit – all this evil. Those two words were about to destroy the people of Salem. Only we didn’t know it. We naively thought that we had saved ourselves in that flood of names. Goody Good, Goody Howe, Goody Sibber, Goody Hawkins, Goody Osborne. We kept on naming innocent names. We did it because when panic knocks you off your feet and fear tries to force you to stay down, you will do anything to get back up again. When trouble comes your way all that you want to do is stand up and walk away. And that’s just what we did. We walked away from the accusations of witchcraft, but only pushing others under suspicion. We couldn’t see that our lies were about to ruin Salem, only I should have seen it in Tituba’s face. As we blackened the names of so many pure women, Tituba’s face began to lighten. Tears that had once drowned her expression were now seeming to glisten. A smile had set on the spared woman’s face. It was the smile of the lamb that had just escaped the slaughter. It was a smile that we all shared. Aye, we rejoiced because we had saved ourselves from death. But little did we know that there would be a fate much worse awaiting us. I remembered hearing after Giles Corey’s death that someone had thought him admirable for upholding his words and asking for ‘more weight’. We too had asked for ‘more weight’ – only there was nothing honourable about our request. With every innocent name that we called upon, we could carry the weight of a neighbour’s death on our shoulders. Only, at that moment, we couldn’t feel the weight. We did understand the moment we was creating. We couldn’t see that the very words that had saved us would also destroy us.

As I gazed up at Goody Nurse, I realised just what I had done, what I had become. I stood amongst the crowd; joined them as they watched on. I found myself staring up at Salem’s most godly woman. The most pure woman to have ever graced Salem was standing on the gallows with a noose hanging by her side. And all that any of us could do was watch. There was something frightfully disturbing about the scene before my eyes. And as the rope was brought up over her head and left to rest around her fragile neck, I remembered the question, ‘Do you not know that God damns all liars?’ Rebecca Nurse was about to hand from her neck and I was responsible. Our testimonies – the ones so far removed from the truth – they was killin’ the people of Salem. I was now beginning to see the weightiness of our ruinous ways. I could feel the weight of the twelve dead resting on my conscience. Twelve dead and three more to soon join them. I could now feel what Giles felt – the life was being forced from me under the pressure of too much weight. We had allowed for our own obsession – our greed – to condemn the lives of innocent others. Aye, we had saved ourselves – our mortal selves. But of what good was it when we had first fed our soul to the Devil? As I looked up at Goody Nurse, I was not only looking towards the death of an innocent woman, but the destruction of Salem’s good spirit. A darkness was coming over Salem. A darkness blacker than any black magic that we could have ever envisioned. We had destroyed Salem with our dishonesty. Our actions had become poison. Our self-lust had turned neighbours against neighbours.

We had removed God’s love and loved contempt in its place. I was now beginning to understand the truth in what an enlightened man had said of our actions - that through our lies we were ‘pulling Heaven down and raising up a whore.’ And what frightened me the most was that there would be no soothing lullaby to awaken us from this nightmare. A troubled feeling swelled within me. We were to blame for this torment. I was responsible for this pain. I had let myself become the flame under the crucible of Salem. And as Rebecca Nurse fell and the noose tightened around her neck I realised that she – the one accused of being a witch – was not damned. Nay, Goody Nurse was not the damned – I was.

Expository Response – A Process

A plan

1.  The prompt - Is the question on which you focus your writing. You don’t have to agree with the prompt

2.  Brainstorm the key terms and “big ideas” from the prompt. Develop questions that explore and define the prompt. This may give you different angles and perspectives.

3.  Each question can form the basis of a paragraph.

4.  Develop your “big ideas” in each paragraph. Find examples from the short stories and witness to explore and support those ideas.

5.  Consider your point of view on the prompt. Do you agree / disagree / partially agree? This will give you a central point of view to express in your writing.

6.  Consider the FORM, AUDIENCE and PURPOSE

7.  Incorporate ideas from the texts:

8.  The focus of each paragraph is one of the “big ideas” generated in your brainstorming. You explore and discuss this idea in some detail. However, you also need to provide examples to support your discussion.

“When conflict arises, it is impossible not to take a side. Everyone has a role”.

Break down the Key terms and ideas

·  How does conflict arise? Begin?

·  What does it mean by taking a side? Getting involved? Contributing to the conflict? Exacerbating the conflict?

·  Can you avoid becoming involved?

·  Conflict is defined by incompatible positions that force individuals to take sides.

·  Conflict can rarely be contained and it inevitably spreads beyond the original dispute.

·  The middle ground can be the most dangerous place in a conflict because both sides may regard this position with suspicion.

Plan the paragraph

Idea – topic sentence / Supporting material / Concluding sentence
Conflict is defined by incompatible positions that force individuals to take sides. / John Proctor is eventually forced to take a side in a dispute that he has no taste for. Early in the play, he attempts to avoid taking a side by claiming: “ I have a crop to sow and lumber to drag home”. This is futile and he be comes involved in the town conflict.
Historically, Afghanistan has been defined along tribal and cultural factions. The ruling Pashtun majority, from whom the Taliban evolved, view the ethnic Hazara as second class citizens. Their positions are incompatible, therefore the Hazara are forced to defend themselves against the brutal regime that seeks to destroy their people and culture.
Idea – topic sentence / Supporting material / Concluding sentence
Conflict can rarely be contained and it inevitably spreads beyond the original dispute. / The initial dispute between Reverend Parris and some members of the community lays the foundations for the other conflicts that dominate this play. The conflicts that they encounter involve religious beliefs, personal animosities and superstitution.
Conflict inevitably impacts upon innocent people. The consequence of years of conflict in Afghanistan has produced problems that require global solutions to resolve a humanitarian crisis of dislocated people who seek asylum in countries like Australia, free from war and conflict.
Idea – topic sentence / Supporting material / Concluding sentence
The middle ground can be the most dangerous place in a conflict because both sides may regard this position with suspicion / At the beginning of the paly, the character of Rebecca Nurse seems like a respected figure of wisdom. However, she is eventually accused of witchcraft. Hale’s reluctance to see her executed shows that he recognizes her as a source of reconciliation. Rebecca pays the ultimate price for being a peacemaker.
The war between the Russian backed government forces and the mujahedin inevitably impacts upon the civilians who attempt to avoid taking sides and who long for peace. Young men of fighting age who avoid joining the armies are regarded suspiciously by both sides as supporting the enemy. Najaf and young men spend their boyhoods avoiding the recruiters to the point where Najaf describes it as a national sport.

Introduction

One of the great myths of conflict is that it can always be contained. Whether it is encountered in the personal or political sphere, conflict will often spread beyond the main combatants. History demonstrates that wars escalate in a world where connections between individuals and states are so complex. An argument between friends will generally force those on the perimeter to choose sides. Conflict by its very nature creates divisions. Even when conflict is internal, it rarely remains so. When a dispute begins, the world is viewed in black and white terms, with no middle ground. Attempts to reconcile differences are often misinterpreted as unspoken support for one side or the other.