Choose Forgiveness Over Bitterness

Hebrews 12:15 - Ephesians 4:32

Intro: What is the worst sin that a Christian could commit?Murder? Adultery?Homosexuality? Incest? What would it be? Although these are awful sins, and manyothers might be noted, which would be the worst? God's Word makes it clear that from God's perspective there is no distinction made concerning sin. James tellsus that the smallest infraction of God's law is the same as breaking all ofGod's law.James 2:10, “For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.” So from the Lord's viewpoint sin is sin. But with that in mind, we also need torealize that some sins have greater consequences to us here than others. Jesustold us that if we hate someone in our heart we are guilty of murder, but no onehas been sent to the electric chair for hating another person. So, let's rephrase the question. Instead of asking what is the greatest sin that a Christian can commit, we need to ask what is the most destructive sin that a believer can commit. In my experience, the most destructive of all sins is bitterness. Bitternessdestroys people, families and churches. Bitterness is an attitude that refuses to forgive offenses. Like a cancer, it grows until it destroys everything around it.

Turn to Hebrews 12:15. Now go toEphesians 4:32. The opposite of bitterness is forgiveness. Forgiveness is an attitude that honestly acknowledges an offense and then dismisses it on the basis of God's forgiveness of us.Bitterness holds on to an offense, but forgiveness brings release. So this morning the challenge is to choose forgiveness over bitterness. How can we do that? What if the hurt is deep and the pain is great? We can choose to forgive when we understand the basis for forgiveness.

I. The Biblical Basis Of Forgiveness

A. We Did Not Deserve God’s Forgiveness

1. Romans 5:8 tells us that 'while we wereyet sinners' Christ died for us.”

2.What seems logical is often contrary to the Word of God.

3.Many folks believe that only good people will go to heaven...WRONG!

4.The reality is that only bad people will go to heavenbecause there are no good people.

a.Mark 10:18, “And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou Me good? there is none good but one, that is, God.”

b.Romans 3:10, “There is none righteous, no, not one:”

5.We need to understand that we are not forgiven because we deserve to be forgiven; just the opposite is true.

B. God’s Forgiveness Is On The Basis Of Grace, Not Our Works

1.Nothing that I do or do not do can ever earn God's forgiveness.

a.Romans 5:1, “Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Chris” You may remember that two weeks ago I said this about justification. Once sinners have placed their faith in Christ, God declares them righteous. New believers have peace with God because all sins, past, present and future are forgiven.

b.Romans 4:4-5, “Now to him that worketh is the reward not reckoned of grace, but of debt.But to him that worketh not, but believeth on Him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted

for righteousness.”

2.If we could do anything to earn God's forgiveness, then forgivenesswould not be a gift but an obligation or debt that God would owe to us.

3.We have been declared forgiven by God simply because of our faith; our trust in Jesus Christ.

C. Let's Make The Application

We are commanded to forgive others even asGod has forgiven us.How has He forgiven us? He has forgiven us when we didn't deserve it and on the basis of grace, not works. He did not expect us to do anything to be forgiven. All we had to do was truly believe that the Father sent the Son to die in our place; that He shed His blood to wash away our sins. Having done that, our sins are gone! Praise God!

II. Joseph: A Great Example Of Forgiveness

A. Family Relationships Provide AGreat Potential For Bitterness

1.Joseph was Jacob's favorite son; he made that very clear when he had a beautiful coat of many colors made for him and did not do so for his other children.

2.Joseph's brothers were a little bitter over the way their father treated him.

3.Their bitterness grew into hatred which developed into action against him.

a.They plotted to murder him.

b.They wound up selling him into slavery.

c.They lied to their father about what happened to him.

4.That seems extreme, but we hear of family members killing their whole families all the time. Usually bitterness takes a less

violent expression such as two familymembers who have notspoken for years. Which ever form it takes, bitterness destroys families.

B. God Was At Work In Joseph's Life

1.Through a series of God orchestrated circumstances, Joseph became the Pharaoh’s right hand man in Egypt.

2.The famine in the land caused Joseph's brothers to come to Egypt insearch of food.

3.The man they had to deal with was none other than their long-forgotten brother Joseph.

4.When Joseph revealed his identity to them they were frightened at what would happen. They though for sure that Joseph would pay them back for their treachery and hatefulness.

C. Joseph Was Ready To Forgive His Brothers

1.He recounted to them how that God had brought all things together forgood.

2.What his brothers had done was wrong, but God took the wrong and used it to accomplish His will.

Genesis 50:20,“But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.”

III. How To Choose Forgiveness Over Bitterness

A. Acknowledge The Hurt

Forgiveness is not the same as denial.Sometimes we try to deny that we are hurt by someone.We may distance ourselves from certain individuals and act like nothinghas happened. But that isn't forgiveness...Joseph told his brothers, "You thought evilagainst me..."He knew they meant to hurt him. If we do not

acknowledge the offense, then we cannot prepare ourselves to forgive.

B. Do Not Leave God Out Of The Equation

Often our first response will be 'Why did this happen to me?'Our focus is on ourselves and the pain that we feel over the situation.We need to realize that God is not oblivious to what is happening to us.We should consider and ask ourselves what is God trying to accomplish through this event?God can take the worst things that happens to us and use them for His eternal purpose in our lives and so we should always look for God’s hand in every situation. Bear in mind that I am not saying that God causes people to hurt us, but that He takes those times when we have been hurt and uses them to teach us and cause us to grow to be more like Christ. Turn to Romans 8:28. This verse doesn't mean that everything that happens to us will be good;it means that God will use it for good. He will use it to bring about His purpose. The good and also His purpose are the same: conforming us to the imageof His Son which we see in Romans 8:29.

C. Acknowledge Our Own Sins Receive God's Forgiveness

Remember we are to forgive as we have been forgiven.We need to receive God's forgiveness before we can begin to truly forgivesomeone else.Our willingness to forgive others is an evidence that God has forgivenus.The choice is ours. We can choose to remain bitter over what has happened in ourlives or we can choose to forgive. Think what it would have meant if Joseph had chosen bitterness. What about you this morning? Are there hurts that you have denied.Offenses which you have held on to?

Acknowledge them...release them...and beginto experience the freedom that comes from choosing forgiveness over bitterness. I want to close with a few quotes.“

Forgiveness is God's invention for coming to terms with a world in which, despite their best intentions, people are unfair to each other and hurt each other deeply. He began by forgiving us. And he invites us all to forgive each other."

-- Lewis B. Smedes

"We forgive freely or we do not really forgive at all."

-- Lewis B. Smedes

He that cannot forgive others, breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass if he would reach heaven; for everyone has need to be forgiven." -- Lance Morrow

So what about you? What are you going to do today with the hurt you have experienced in your life? Are you going to cling to it until the bitterness in your soul turns into a cancer which destroys you? Are you going remain shackled to that pain that has kept you down your whole life? Or are you going to free yourself of the constraints that weigh you down by forgiving those who have hurt you and forgive yourself for hating them? Turn to Philippians 3:13-14. You can not go forward until you have dealt with the past. No matter what has happened to you in your life, you are responsible for who you are today. You are responsible for your actions right now.Let go of all of that stuff today.

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