SHORTTERM12
AFILMBY DESTINDANIELCRETTON
Incinemas November1st
96 MIN/ U.S.A./ COLOUR/ 2013
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Short Term 12
ShortTerm12 was thetoastofthis year’s Southby Southwest(SXSW) festival, winningboththeGrand
JuryPrizein theNarrativeFeatureCompetitionand theAudienceAward.
Toldthroughtheeyes ofGrace(Brie Larson),a twenty-somethingsupervisor ata foster-carefacility for at-risk teenagers,ShortTerm12 is writtenand directedby Destin Cretton.Passionateand tough, Graceis a formidable caretakerofthekids in hercharge,and in love withherlong-termboyfriend and co-worker, Mason (John Gallagher Jr). But Grace’s own difficultpast, and the surprising future thatsuddenly presentsitself, throwherintounforeseenconfusion,made all thesharperwiththearriv- al ofa newintakeatthefacility: a giftedbuttroubledteenagegirl withwhomGracehas a charged connection.
While the subject matter is complex and often dark, Short Term 12 findstruth, and humour, in unex- pectedplaces.
SHORT TERM12 – Writtenand directedby Destin Daniel Cretton.Producedby MarenOlson, Asher Goldstein,JoshuaAstrachan,RonNajor.Executive producersareFrederickW.Green,Douglas Stone, David Kaplan. DirectorofPhotographyis BrettPawlak. Edited by NatSanders.Productiondesign
by RachelMyers.Original Music by JoelP.West.CostumeDesign by MirrenGordon-Crozierand Joy
Cretton.
Synopsis
Outside a grouphomefortroubledteens,a 20-somethingmemberofthefacility’s line staff,MA-SON (JOHN GALLAGHER,JR.),shares a humorousstorywitha newmemberoftheteam,NATE(RAMI MALEK),just as theirsupervisor,GRACE(BRIE LARSON)pulls up onherbicycle.Butthefunis quickly interruptedby thetop-of-the-lungsyell ofa lanky youngboy,as hemakes a wild dash, attempting escape – notanuncommonoccurrenceatShortTerm12.Aninitiation ofsortsforNate,theycalmly chase aftertheboy,carefully and lovingly easing him tothegrounduntil his crazedenergysubsides. Masoncontinueshis story,as if nothinghas happened.
Aspartofthedaily routine,Graceawakens thefacility’s residentwise guy,LUIS(KEVIN HERNANDEZ)
witha squirt gun.Sheexplains toNatethattheirjob is neitherparentnortherapist– theyarethere
tocreatea safe environment.Thekids in theirchargearemeanttostay withthemfornomorethan
12 months, though many stay longer – until the county can finda place for them in foster homes or
elsewhere.
Ata “communitymeeting”betweentheteensand thestaff,Nateis introduced– and inadvertently insults thekids – drawingparticular rancourfromMARCUS(KEITH STANFIELD),anotherwisesoft-spoken, tall, black teenagerwhois abouttoturn18 and leave thefacility.
Afterthemeeting,Graceis toldby herboss, JACK(FRANTZTURNER)toexpecta newarrival, JAYDEN (KAITLYNDEVER), a teenagegirl whoseself-destructive behaviourhas leftherbouncingfromone group home to the next.Jayden’s father is a friend of a friend, Jack confides– and he commissions Gracetotakeespecially goodcareofher.
Upon Jayden’s arrival, Grace findsher to be a quiet, intelligent, smart-assed girl, ready to flauntthe
rules,as needed,tocope– and tosurvive. Graceis inexplicably drawntohernewcharge.
On herway homefromwork,Gracetakes a side triptoa clinic, wherea nurseinformsherthatshe
is pregnant.Gracehas nointerestin discussing any oftheavailable options– exceptabortion.She goeshometoherloving boyfriend– whowenowunderstandis Mason(as colleagues atShortTerm
12, theydon’tacknowledgetheyarea couple).Masonis busy cookinga homemadeMexicanmeal. Gracetells him nothingofwhereshe’s beenorwhatshe’s just beentold.
Aftertheyeat,thetworelaxonthecouch,quietly makingdrawings ofeachother– hersquite good, his notsogood.Awarmcouple,clearly in love,MasontriestogetGracetoopenup aboutwhat’s
onhermind,butsheis unable to.He notesthattheyhaven’thad sex in overa week,whichGrace attemptstoremedy– thoughtheirpassionate kissing stops abruptly whenGracepushes Masonaway with an unaccountable, reflexiveslap to the face, bloodying Mason’s nose.
Thenextmorning’scommunitymeetingintroducesJaydentothegroup,wheresheannouncesshe has no interest in wasting time on the short-term relationships she expects to findthere.Later, the kids play whiffleball, though Jayden opts to keep to herself.In the game, Luis taunts Marcus, who retali- ates by hittinghim and knockinghim totheground.Gracepulls Marcusaside and speaks tohim
withremarkablecandor,notingthathe’s abouttoleave thefacility, thathe’s puttinghimself atrisk and thatshedoesn’twanttoseehim gotojail – a place whereherownfatherhas spentthelast ten years.MarcuslooksatGracewithregardand surprise – buthedoesn’topenup toher.
Back inside thefacility, Masontakes a turn.He asks Marcusif hehas any newlyrics he’dlike totryout onhim.Marcusnods,butwarnsMasonthatthere’sa lotofcussing in them.Masonsays hewon’ttell anyone.
Marcusraps witha startlingdepthoffeeling,rhymingabouttheabuse hesufferedatthehands ofhis mother– and leaves Masonspeechless. Marcusthenasks if, beforehis imminentreleasefromShort Term12, hecouldhave Graceshave his headforhim.
Gracevisits withJaydenin hernewroom.NoticingJayden’s artistic ability, Gracereveals thatwhen shewas a girl,shewould draw picturesofherownmother’smany boyfriends– somethingJayden has a surprising insight into,though,everthesmart-ass, Jaydenalso makes Gracelaughaboutit.
Graceand Masongive Marcusthehaircutherequested.Afterhis headis shaved, Marcuslooksdown at the floorand inquires if his head appears lumpy – if there are scars from the regular beatings he receivedfromhis abusive mother.Graceand Masontell him thattherearenoscars, thathelooks great. Marcus looks at himself in the mirror and cries openly, likely for the firsttime in years.
That night, Grace finallybreaks the news to Mason about her pregnancy – news which is, at first,met withshock...and thenexhilaration.Masonis excitedaboutthekinds ofparentsthatheknowshe and Gracewill be.
Thenextmorning,Graceis disturbed tolearnthatthehigher-upshave takenmany small dolls away from SAMMY (ALEX CALLOWAY), the quiet boy who ran wild a few days earlier (as the filmopened). This is apparently meanttobe a “lesson”toSammy, eventhoughthedolls werehis onlycomforting connectiontohis sister.
Jayden,meanwhile,is expectinga birthday visit fromherdad, but– as has perhaps beenthecase toomany times before– henevershows up.Jaydengoestoherroomand slams thedoorshut. Grace,Masonand Natehave toforceit open,in case Jaydenmightattempttohurtherself.No longerthedroll smart-ass, Jaydenlashes outatGrace,smashing a cupcakein herface.Theteam gentlysubdues her,Gracerespondingcalmly and skilfully and withas muchcareas possible, as Jaydenreleases hergriefand anger.
Knowingwhathas happened,thenormally stoic and toughMarcustells his house-matestocreate birthday cards forJayden,who,atthatpoint,is in the“CoolDownRoom”withGrace.
Grace sits quietly with Jayden in the Cool Down Room – and, after noticing Jayden’s self-inflicted scars, reveals toJaydena fewscars ofherown– telling Jaydenthestoryofhowshegotthem. Jayden is touchedand upsetand unleashes herangerand frustrationontheblow-up dogdoll that’s beenputin theCoolDownRoomexpressly forthatpurpose.Gracejoins Jaydenin poundingthe inflatabledog – and there is a bit of release for both of them.
Jaydensees thebirthday cards thatMarcusand herhousemateshave made forherand is touched by them. There are more cupcakes – this time with candles – and Jayden seems, for the firsttime, to be lettingdownherguardand allowing herselftobe a partofthecommunityatShortTerm12.
ButJayden’s moodquickly shifts again and momentslater,shegoesAWOL.Sheheads toherfa-
ther’s house, with Grace in pursuit, but her father is not home and Jayden finallyreturns outside
whereGraceis waiting forher.Jaydencries and Gracecomfortsher.ThetworeturntoShortTerm
12, whereJaydenshares a children’s storythatshehas written.It’s a tale abouta sharkwhobe- friendsanoctopus.Theoctopusgives up pieces ofits body tothehungryshark,believing that’swhat is necessary in ordertohave a friend.It’s anoblique parable, butGraceis certainthatJaydenis sufferingabuse atthehandofherfather– and thatthis is theonlyway Jaydenknowstotell her.She asks Jaydenif herDad has everhurther.Jaydendoesnotanswer,buta tearrolls ontothepageof herstory.Gracethrowsanarmaroundher.
Masonand Gracejoina largegatheringofpeople ofalmost everysize,colorand age– fromeight monthsto80.Itis theanniversary party ofanolderLatincouple– Mason’s fosterparents.Mason makes a toast,thankinghis parentsforproviding a loving homeforhim,adding “Happy Anniversary, youguys.Everythinggoodin my life is because ofyou.”
Later, on the dance floor,Mason asks Grace to marry him – and she accepts.
Thecoupleis awakenedby anearly morningphonecall, bringingthenews thatGrace’s fatheris about to be released from prison. This is the firsthard moment of what will turn out to be a very dif- ficultday. At work, Grace learns that Marcus’ pet fish– the only soul in which Marcus feels he can safely confide– has died, and that Marcus thinks Luis is responsible.Grace tries to get Marcus to talk aboutit – butherefuses.
Graceis thencompletely stunnedtodiscover thatJayden’s fatherhas picked his daughterup and takenherhome.Believing thatJaydenis sufferingabuse atherfather’shands,Gracestormsinto
her boss’ office,and tells him in unsparing terms that Jayden should not have been sent home to her dad.Jackcutsheroffand tells herthatherjob is nottointerprettears,thattherearetrainedthera- pists whodothat– and thatsheis just line staff.Grace,furious,grabs Jack’s desk lamp and smashes it.Shereturnstotheresidenceatthefacility onlytodiscover thatMarcushas slashed his wrist.She wraps thewoundin a pillowcase, clamps it withherhands and,nearlybeside herself,cries forhelp.
Ina dazeatthehospital, Gracetells Masonshesimply can’tgoon.He triestohelp,and pleads with
Gracetosharewhat’s troublingher,butsheis onceagain unable to.
WhenMasonpushes her,Gracetells him thatshecan’tshecan’tmarryhim and thatshecan’thave his baby – and thatshe’s already made theappointmenttohave anabortion.Stunned,Mason walks away and tells Gracetodowhatevershewants… because heis done.
Grace sets off on her bike – and pedals fiercely.Suddenly, she is at Jayden’s house.She breaks in and stumbles ona baseball bat in thegarage.Shepicks it up and walks up thestairs ofthehouse. She findsJayden’s father, asleep in his bedroom, the television droning.She looks like she is about to wield thebat onJayden’s sleeping father’shead– whenheryoungfriendstops her.
The two instead sit outside, where Grace finallyreveals that she suffered abuse at the hands of her own father – and that she stood up in court and testified,putting her father in jail.She confidesthat this is somethingshehasn’tevertoldanyone– and thatshehadn’tevenbeenthinkingaboutit her- self, until shemetJayden.Andnow…shehas discovered thatsheis pregnantand faced withthe prospectofbecominga parentherself.Sheadmits thatshedoesn’tknowwhatsheis doing,butthat shejust wantedtohelp Jayden.
Jayden confidesto Grace the harm that she’s suffered from her father – this time much more explic- itlyThe two then finda good use for the baseball bat:smashing the windows of Jayden’s dad’s car.Itprovestobe anexhilaratingcatharsis – and wefeelthatthingswill begintochangeforboth ofthem.
GracereturnshometoMason,whotells herthatMarcusis goingtogetbetter,towhichGracere- sponds, “I thinkI am,too.”
About Short Term 12
Theworldofgrouphomesis notanunfamiliar onetoSHORT TERM12 writer/directorDestin Cretton.In fact, he loosely modelled one of the film’scharacters, Nate – an unsure newcomer to the line staff at thefacility – afterhimself.
“After I graduated from college,” from Point Loma Nazarene University in San Diego, ”I couldn’t find work,and a friendofminementioneda grouphomefortroubledteenagersthatwas hiring,”the director recalls.On his firstday, a seemingly nice kid had a lovely chat with Cretton – and then blew up and threwa chairathim fromacross theroom.“Itwas by far,oneofthescariest experiencesI’ve ever had – at first.I was really afraid of doing something wrong and messing up these kids more than theyalready were.Butaftera monthorso,I fell in love withit.”He stayed onfortwoyears.
Itis anexperiencethatstuckwithCretton,evenas theHawaiian native was gettinghis Master’s Degreein Film and NewMedia fromSan DiegoStateUniversity.There,a fewyears later,hecre- ateda 20 minuteshortforhis thesis project,titled “ShortTerm12” – based onhis experiencesatthe
home. The filmwent on to win the Jury Prize at Sundance in 2009 – and prompted Cretton to make a feature version.“I was kind of a novice filmmaker,and somebody told me that if you were going to Sundance,you’dbetterhave a featurescript ready.SoI wroteone.”Thatscript eventually foundits way to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, where it was one of fivescripts in 2010 to win theNichollFellowship. “Thatwas a big stamp ofapproval,” hesays.
Theshorthad featureda male, namedDenim,as thelead supervisor ofthehome’s“LineStaff,”the home’scounsellorswhotendtothekids eachday. Butforthefeatureversion,Crettondecided to switch thingsaround,creatinga newcharacter,Grace,in thesupervisor’s role.
Castintherole wasactressBRIELARSON,ofwhomCrettonwasafan–notonly forthesearingemo- tionalrolesheplayedinOrenMoverman’s“Rampart”(asWoodyHarrelson’seldestdaughter),butfor hercomedicworkon“UnitedStatesofTara.” “She’sjustsorawandspontaneous, evenincomedy scenes,”thedirectorsays.“Shealwaysfeelslikeshe’sshootingfromherinstincts,asopposedtosome kind ofpre-planned,rehearsedperformance.”
Larson,whowasfilminganotherprojectinGeorgia,wassentthescript,andimmediatelyconnected. “Within10pages,itwasjustarolethatreallyspoketome,”theactresssays.“Ifeltithadalotofgreat architecturetoit,and was just a big space formetoworkand play with.”Sheand Crettonspokevia Skype,and,saysthedirector,“IsawGraceveryquicklyinher. Shewasreallyfunny,butshealsohad somethingaboutherthatwasextremelythoughtful.Shewouldstopandthinkaboutthings,anditwas inthosemomentswhereIsawacombinationofintensityandlightness,andIknewshewouldkickass as Grace.Andshedid.”
Theactressimmediatelydoveintodevelophercharacter,thedirectornotes. “Sheworkedhertail off toget underGrace’sskin,anditwasajoytowatch.Sheaskedsmartquestionsanddevouredas muchinformationasshecould,tobecomeanexpertnotongrouphomes,butonGrace–andthe different thingsshecouldbefeelingateverymoment. It’sthereasonherperformanceisbelievable and realistic – she had a specifictake on everything for her.She never does the same thing twice.”
Graceis,athercore, complex,duetotheabuseshehassuffered,whichisnotrevealedtotheaudi- ence–noreventothoseclosesttoher–untillateinthefilm,aqualitythatLarsonfoundmostappeal- ing.“Forme,thebestpartaboutanycharacteristheirsecret,”sheexplains.“Andtodoanentirefilm aboutsomeonetryingtokeepittogetherbecauseofasecrettheyhaveeatingawayatthemisreally fascinating tome.”
Keepingthesecreta secret,while giving theaudienceenoughtoknowthere’sindeedsomething hidden, was a terrificchallenge for the actress. “I found it incredibly refreshing to explore – espe- cially in a movie whereit’s moreaboutthethingsthataren’tsaid thanwhatis said.Storieslike that stay withyoulonger,because theystrikeanuncomfortablechord– theyhelp theaudiencefeelthat whateverit is couldeasily happenin reallife.” Adds Cretton,“Graceis continually walking theline of being extremely vulnerable and being an extremely strong woman.And that’s difficultto portray.”
Creatingthathiddendarkness was partofa day’s workforLarson– actually 20 days’ work– some- thingshehad tolearntomanage.“I thinkthis was actually thelongestperiodformeofplaying
someonewho’sgoingthroughsomedarkness fora very longperiodoftime,”sherecalls.“I’d goin a cornerand drinka lotofblack coffeeand getmyself feelingreally ill and say, ‘I’m goingtothepit.’” Thetrickwas in notstaying there.“I actually founda nicegrooveofbeingable toswim in thedeep endand thenreturntoshore.Ittookmeawhile, butI realizedthatjust because yourcharacter’s goingthroughhell, it doesn’tmeanyouhave toputyourselfthroughhell, too.Youdothework,then youcomehome,cookdinnerand watch‘TheSimpsons’ and rememberwhoyouactually are.”
Playing oppositeLarsonas hergentle,supportive boyfriendand colleague,MASON,is JOHNGAL- LAGHER,JR,oneofthestars ofHBO’S “TheNewsroom”and a Tony-winningactoronBroadway
for“SpringAwakening.”“I readDestin’s script in onesitting,and countedseven scenes thatjust broughtmetotears,”herecalls. “I’ve neverhad thatkind ofphysical reactiontoreadinga script. Thattoldmerightaway thatthis was somethingreally special, somethingthathad a lotofheart.”
TheroleofMason– warm,kind,understandingand supportive,butwitha goodsense ofhumour– was
a particularly good fitfor the actor. “I read it and said, ‘I know who this guy is, and I think I could have a lotoffunwiththis.”NotesCretton,“Johnis thatway onand offscreen.He’s nice,caring, witty,patientand charming– everythingMasonis, bothwiththekids in thehomeand in his relation- ship withGrace.Itwas aninstantchoiceforme.Plus,wewereSkyping, and,atthetime,hehad this big beard,and I saw thatand just knew,‘Ah– that’sMason.’”
Masonalso neededtobe a goodstoryteller– heregularlykeeps his colleagues raptwithsometimes hard-to-believestoriesofhis life and work.“That’ssomethingI had seenhim doon‘TheNewsroom,’” Cretton recalls.Adds Gallagher, “That’s one thing that jumped out the firsttime I read the script.I love storiesin any form.Andon‘TheNewsroom,’everybody is forcedtomemorizetheselongpas- sages ofdialogue,and just spew themoutwithoutany hesitation.Andbesides, Masonloves the attention.”
Thehumorousaspect ofthecharacteris noaccident– in fact,it’s necessary,Crettonsays.“Humoris very mucha partofthereality ofthegrouphomesetting– it’s partofsurvival there.He’s kind ofan anchor,in a lotofways, fora lotofthemayhemthat’sgoingonaround,bothwiththingsgoingon withthekids and withGrace.”Gallagher agrees.“It’s somethingthatI noticedwhenI wentand
visited oneofthegrouphomes.Theline staff keepit very light– nothinginappropriate,buttheyjoke withthekids, trytokeepa friendly,happy, easygoingenvironment.”
Masonis anythingbutthegoofball hesometimesportraysin his roleatthehome.“Johnand I talked aboutit early on,”thedirectorexplains. “Masonknowsthathe’s takingontheroleofthebumbling, goofyguy– butheuses it.He’s notclueless, heknowswhathe’s doing.It’s notanescape from reality – heuses it todeal withreality.”Adds Gallagher,“He’s happy toplay theroleofthejester,if it canbe used positively and effectively. He’s able touseit todiffuse situations in anappropriateway beforetheygetoutofhand.”
Partofwhy Masonseems, forthemostpart,fairly unrockable,is his upbringing,revealed whenheand Graceattendhis fosterparents’30thanniversary party – a party packed withsimilarly gratefulfoster childrenthecouplehave raised. “I wantedtomakesurethatwesaw anexample ofthefostercare system trulyworking,”says Cretton.“It’s a system thatis really beautiful attimes,and that’snot normally portrayed in filmsor on television. It’s important for people to see that aspect.”
Theidea forgiving Masonthatkind ofbackgroundcameearly in thewritingprocess.“I asked my- self, ‘Why would Masonbe workingin a place like this?’It’s notincredibly uncommonforpeople whoworkatthesefacilities tohave somekind oftietothefostercaresystem themselves orhave similar backgroundstosomeofthethingsthekids aregoingthrough.”
Mason’s goodnaturecomesoutoftheloving worldhehappeneduponsometimeearlierin his life,
in theformofhis Latinofosterparents.“It’s hardtogetMasondown,”says Gallagher.“Hefoundhis way, as a child, in and out of facilities like Short Term 12, never really findinga family or any self worth, until hefoundthem.I thinkheknowshegota secondchance,and it’s somethingthat’smade him an eternaloptimist.”
Thatquality makes him invaluable toeveryonearoundhim,Crettonsays.“Oneofthebig themesof this movie is findingways to break cycles, and to believe that you can.Just because your parents treatedyouin anunacceptable way, doesn’tmeanthatyouhave toturnoutthatway and dothe
same thingstoyourkids.”Masonis a glimmerofhope,notonlyforthekids, butforGrace.“Heshows thatyoucangothrougha messed up past, and comeouta fairly healthypersonontheotherside. He understandswherehecamefrom,and has dealt withit ona certainlevel.”
Graceand Masonaretrulysoulmates.“They’rekindredspirits,” says Gallagher.“Theybothcome frombrokenhomesand weredealt prettyunfairhands as children.Andsothat’ssomethingthat brings themtogether,having gonethroughtraumaticexperiencesin theiryounglife.Andnow, they’readults, and areable tohave someonethatknowswhatthatkind ofstruggleis like.”
Theactorsbegantoexplorethecouple’s relationship notlongbeforeshootingbegan,whenCret- tonsentthemoutona fauxdinnerdate.Gallagher recalls, “Hegave us anenvelopefull oflittle questions and games and conversationpieces. Throughoutthemeal, everyminuteorso,Brie would reachin and takeoneout.”Thequestions would be,forexample, “HowdoyouthinkGraceand Masonmet?”“Wewould talk it out.Sobeforeweevengotonset,Destin had already given us these toolstostartbuilding a foundationand a historyand a backstoryforthesecharacters.”
Thetwolive a simple life – thekind $12 anhourcounsellingjobs canafford,butonewhichtheycher- ish, and one which they spend all day keeping a secret “at the office.”“Their home life is almost like a completely differentmovie,whichis somethingI love,”Larsonsays.“Yougettoseethemostun- glamorous,unromanticparts ofa relationship.Themundanethings– cookingdinner,sleeping next
toeachother,brushingourteeth.Destin chosesuchinterestingperiods oftimetoshow.Butit made it clearthis is a relationship that’slived in.”
Arelaxingeveningin thecouple’s apartmentcanconsist ofsomethingas simple – and intimate– as makingdrawings ofeachotherwhile seated onthesofa.“Thatwas actually oneofmy favouriteparts of the film,doing those drawings,” Larson recalls. Gallagher was dispatched to a nearby CVS to grab somepaper and crayons,and theninstructedby his directortoattempteightdifferentsketchesof Mason’s sweetheart(all ofGrace’s drawings in various scenes in themovie,including this one,were done by Cretton’s girlfriend, Nikki Chapman, herself a talented artist).As seen in the film,most of Gal- lagher’swere...notsogood.
“I asked John,‘Areyoutryingtobe bad?’” Larsonlaughs.Each take,theactorwould showhera differentsketch,in ordertogeta differentreactionfromhis scene-mate.“I still have oneofthem.I keptone.”
Thecouple’s closeness is oftenseenin times whenGraceis seemingly in themiddle ofa hellish situa- tionatthegrouphome,whenanappropriately-placed quip fromMasoncanbe exactly whatshe needs.Whenoneofthekids, forinstance,has a meltdownand smashes a cupcakeMasonhad made intoGrace’s face,heonceagain is able todisarm thesituation,enquiring,“Sohow’smy cup- cake?”eliciting a smile fromhis girlfriend.
“That’sthebeautiful balance ofthatrelationship,”Larsonnotes.“Ifshegetsstuckin themud,heis so goodatpulling herback toreality and groundingher.Whenthingsgetoutofcontrol,he’s theone that’spulling herback tocenter.”
“I thinkhematuredbeforeshedid,” says Cretton.“He’s able tolookatherand knowwhatshe’s thinking.Ithelps hersnap outofit,and keeps herfromspiralling downin whatcouldotherwisebe ter- rible situations.”
Mason’s warmthand kindness arestill nomatchforthescars leftoverfromchildhoodabuse.“He wants tobe thereforher,butshecan’treally allow herselftobe vulnerable,”Gallagher explains. “Shewill gointoherheadand getstuckthere.Andit puts a strainontherelationship.”