An Explanation of Needs & Wants/Desires

Ultimately, one of the most profound issues in healing our relationship to money is being willing to enter into a conversation about needs vs. wants. This subject can be deceptively simple. However, many people are not clear about what they need vs. what they want. So the end result is that they spend a lot on their wants and neglect their needs. And some people neglect both sides, assuming it’s not possible to get their needs AND their wants met.

My mentor, Karen McCall, writes that when we spend money on our wants before our needs, it is like we are putting up pretty wallpaper in a room that has faulty wiring sticking out. Think about that image. Here are some other examples:

We buy lots of plants at the plant sale instead of having the front porch fixed.

We spend money on fancy clothes, but neglect our teeth.

We spend money on the new master bathroom, but neglect our retirement funding.

Did you notice the word neglect? What are you neglecting? What are you ignoring that makes you feel depleted or deprived? Deprivation is the opposite of fulfillment, and I want you to feel fulfilled. And when you meet your true needs first, you feel fulfilled. You have to know what your needs are in order to be able to meet them.

Here is what I recommend — grab a piece of paper (or open the tab on your Money Minder: Worksheets > Needs & Wants/Desires)and start creating a list of needs and wants.Just start writing - don’t worry if it’s a need or a want, there’s no wrong way to do this. To help you brainstorm, think about these four areas: stuff, services, experiences and feelings.

Stuff - What stuff do you need or want? Boots, a new couch, a better computer, more jewelry, a nicer dining room table, a house…

Services - What services do you need or want? I want monthly professional hair coloring, weekly house cleaning, dental work, to replace the cracked windshield on my car…

Experiences - What experiences do you want or need? I want to travel more, I want to go mountain climbing, I want to go to a musical, I want to join that club or group, I want to go on a retreat, I need to belong to a community, I need to meditate…

Feelings - What feelings do you need or want to have? I want to feel more secure (that might mean more savings), I want to feel more attractive (throw the personal trainer on the list), I want to feel more confident (there’s the hair straightening andnewjacket)…

Lastly, answer this question - What are you tired of putting up with?

Now simply sit with your list and start moving the items to Needs or Wants/Desires. For each item, simply ask yourself, “Do I need this or do I want this?” Is this necessary or would this be nice? Will I feel more fulfilled and right with the world with this? Remember, needs sustain you and wants entertain you.

Read your lists often – they can be helpful when planning a shopping trip or other times when you have an urge to spend money. Each month, your goal is to tend to your needs first, and then sprinkle in a few wants. Think of creative solutions to your needs – think outside of the box for ways to meet your needs for less, little or no money. You can do this. When you meet your needs first, you experience a deeper sense of satisfaction than the instant gratification of wants.