Not Either/Or
Mark 5:21-43
Abelard, a 12th century philosopher and theologian, has an interesting place in our history for which he is generally forgotten. He was the first to construct a question-and-answer method for teaching theology, published in his book 'Sic et Non' (Yes and No). It was this approach which eventually paved the way for writing computer code, with its 1s and 0s, as the computer only had to recognize these two symbols. The next step for the computer was always yes, do this, or no, do that. The process was sometimes characterized as on, do this, or off, don’t do that.
It was in the 19th century that another theologian, the largely forgotten and unknown Soren Kierkegaard, wrote a treatise reflecting this pattern of choosing. It was a two book set. One was titled “Either” and the other was titled “Or.” In both books, Kierkegaard made the point that when people make a choice, they can go to extremes in their commitment to that choice. When this happens, instead of finding themselves, they lose themselves. The only remedy, he argues, to living fully into an either/or purpose in life is faith. Or, if you will, faith is not either/or.
The choices that Kierkegaard put forth were focused on pleasure – do we deny ourselves pleasure or so we seek pleasure; and ethics – do we act upon what is best for ourselves or upon what is best for society? Again, going to extremes leads to problems which can only be resolved through faith.
You don’t have to know who Abelard and Kierkegaard were to know that much of our life today, and much of the problems we deal with, can be understood as a conflict between two choices. Our challenges can be framed as a battle of “either/or” which, when taken to extremes, means that there can be no middle ground and a choice must be made. And if only one choice can be made, then there is necessarily a good and right choice, and necessarily a wrong and evil choice. I’m going to offer just a few examples of this conflict between either/or, and how faith is not either/or.
Is ministry planned, or does it come in the interruptions? I am reminded often of a story of a professor who used to get irritated when students would come to see him during his office hours. Didn’t they know that he was doing important work in that office – preparing tests, grading papers, planning lectures, writing up research? Either he had to quit posting office hours, or he had to make a new schedule that restricted when students could come see him. But one day he had a revelation – he was a teacher. When the students came by his office, they wanted to be taught. The interruptions were his work. He discovered that the only remedy to an either/or schedule is faith in education. Faith is not either/or.
Do we help those persons who have little to live for, or do we help those who have so much to live for? A number of years ago there was a new church start in Kansas City that had a mission to reach young families and children. And that is an important mission, but they may have trapped themselves with it. One day the youth group went to a local nursing home to do a program, and it so moved them that they wanted to make this a regular ministry of the church. When they went to the church council to ask for help with this ministry, they were told that they didn’t do old people. Either the church stayed focused on its mission, or they would risk losing their way. For several years, this congregation took in lots of young families and children, only to lose most of them a few years later. The only remedy to an either/or mission is faith in the value of all people in God’s love. Faith is not either/or.
Is parenting making choices for your children to keep them safe, or is it teaching children how to make good choices so that they can be safe? Some parenting guides recommend the use of either/or choices. The idea is to let the child think they are making a choice, while the parent still controls the outcome. You can either clean your room, or you can weed the garden – it is your choice. This model is also used by sales people to close a deal. Would you like to have it shipped, or would you like to take it with you today – it is your choice. The problem comes when we grow up thinking that we can only choose between the choices the world gives us, and our life is always either/or. It becomes a bigger problem when we then try to make our relationship with God and our neighbors either/or, forgetting that faith is not either/or.
In our reading for today, we have an either/or scenario. There are two people who need Jesus to heal them. One is the daughter of a powerful leader. The other is an unclean, unknown outcast. One is at the brink of womanhood, and it would be a tragedy if she died. The other is on the brink of death, and she wouldn’t be missed because she is as good as dead to them already. One has seemingly everything ahead of her. The other has most everything behind her.
A further complication that we sometimes miss is that both of these persons would be considered unclean, due to their illness. If Jesus touches, or is touched, by either one of them, he would not be allowed to touch the other one. If the outcast woman touches Jesus first, Jairus would be required by the law to forbid Jesus to enter his home, or his whole household would be considered unclean.
When Mark included this story, which is also found in the Gospels of Matthew and Luke, the readers then knew that Jesus can heal either the little girl or the woman, but he can’t heal both. A choice has to be made between these two extreme examples of privilege and powerlessness, between future promise and passed opportunities, between public tragedy and private agony.
Jairus was a lot like many of us today. He was willing to do whatever it took to get help for his daughter. He would wade through a crowd of the common rabble. He would interrupt a holy man on a journey. He would demand that the will of the holy man be set aside for his own will. This man will move heaven and earth because it is his daughter who is sick and needs help.
Asking Jesus for help doesn’t have to be this dramatic. Jesus already loves us and wants us to be whole. Jesus agrees to go with Jairus and heal this girl. It looks like the prayers of Jairus have been answered, and there is reason to hope that all will be well.
But before they can even get started, Jesus is touched by this unclean, unknown outcast woman, who also needs to be healed. There is a sense of the crowd wanting to bend the rules about uncleanliness in this case. If no one admits to seeing the woman touch Jesus, then there can be plausible deniability that she actually did touch him. And if the crowd agrees, then Jesus is still clean, and he can still go and heal the little girl. And if Jesus heals the little girl, it is likely there will be a party thrown for Jesus and they will get to be part of the celebration.
Even the disciples think there is much to lose and nothing to gain by recognizing that the woman has touched Jesus. But this is where we find a wonderful little twist in the story. We have already seen that Jairus will do anything to get help for his daughter. We know and understand that feeling to do whatever it takes to take care of our children.
And that is exactly what Jesus reveals in this moment – that God the Father will do whatever it takes to take care of God’s children. Jesus knows that this woman is a daughter of God, and he has come to be among us to do whatever it takes to help us know that we are God’s children.
Jesus knows, as we can affirm, that it is of little help if this woman’s body is healed, but she is then still treated as an unclean, unknown outcast who is as good as dead to the community. It is not enough to heal her body. Jesus has come so that her heart can be healed, as well.
So Jesus heals her body, and then he makes her visible to the community. He calls her “daughter.” The point is made: she is just as important to the community and to God, as the little girl is to her father Jairus. She is not unclean – she is forgiven and healed by God. She is not unknown – she is a daughter of God. She is not an outcast – she is a member of this community and of the family of God.
This is good news – for the woman, and for us today. But the story isn’t over. The crowd is still thinking that they are living in an either/or world. Either the woman is healed, or the little girl is healed. And since the woman has been healed and restored to the community, it must mean that the little girl must die. A choice has been made, and there can be no middle ground.
And it looks like the crowd is right, because when Jesus gets to the house, they are told that she is dead. They believe that there is no hope, no possibility left, no reason to bother Jesus any longer. They didn’t get what they wanted. Even if Jesus could have helped them, he didn’t. So the crowd believes there is no reason to keep Jesus around.
How many times have people found themselves in this same place? We didn’t get what we wanted. Jesus didn’t help. What’s the point in believing anymore? Either Jesus does what we want when we want it, or Jesus is not our savior.
But Jesus knows that faith is not either/or. The grace and power of God is not reserved for either end of the spectrums of power, or position, or potential. God does not favor one group to condemn another. Even when the Israelites were the Chosen People, they were chosen to be a light to the Gentiles, to show the world how to live as God intends for all of us.
So Jesus doesn’t listen to the wisdom and consensus of the crowd. Jesus doesn’t accept their judgment of the situation or their judgment of him. Jesus doesn’t fall into the trap of either/or. Instead, Jesus speaks to the girl, and she gets up and walks around. At the very least, Jesus has healed the little girl. If the crowd was right, then Jesus has raised her from the dead.
This passage shows us that, in the kingdom of God, the choice was never either the little girl or the woman. It was always both the little girl and the woman, through the grace of Jesus Christ. And we could live into the kingdom of God on earth as it is in heaven if we just remembered that. The kingdom of God is not either/or, but by the grace of Jesus Christ, “both/and.”
The kingdom of God would come if we would, in the grace of Jesus Christ, stop trying to divide the world into “those whom God loves” and “those whom God does not love.” Instead, the grace of Jesus Christ is available to all of us.
Perhaps there is a need in your life right now, and you haven’t asked Jesus to heal you, or to help you, because you think that life is always either/or. Either you bear your cross, or you aren’t faithful. Either you toe the line, or God won’t love you. Either you earn God’s favor, or God has chosen not to bless you. The good news is that faith is not either/or. Through the grace of Jesus Christ, it is always both/and.
So I want you to take the next few moments as we sing to ask God for healing, or strength, or forgiveness, or whatever else it is that you need to be made whole in the image of God revealed in Jesus Christ. You can come to the chancel rail to pray, or you can offer your prayer where you stand, but let Jesus bless you today.
And if you don’t know what you need, then let the Spirit guide you, as we sing together now our hymn as a prayer: Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing. (UMH 400)