A couple of Jokes for the road………………………..
On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid sitting on his brand new bike.
The cop says to the kid, “Nice bike you got there, kid. Did Santa bring you that?”
The kid says “Yea, he did”
The cop says “ Well next year, ask Santa to put a rear reflector on it.”
The cop then proceeds to issue the kid with a $20 fine for a bicycle safety violation.
The kid takes the ticket and then as the cop rides off he says “By the way, that’s a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring YOU that?”
Humouring the kid the cop says “Yea, he sure did.”
The kid says “Well next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top!”
On one particular Christmas eve many year ago Santa was preparing for his Christmas run. Four of his elves got sick and his trainee elves were struggling to keep up with production, so he was under real stress. One thing was happening after another and then Mrs Claus announced that her Mum was coming to visit for Christmas. This stressed Santa even more. When he went out to harness his reindeer, he found that three of them were lame, two were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence. More stress. Then when he went to load the sleigh, the toy bag ripped spilling toys all over the place. This was turning into a horror night.
In frustration Santa went inside to have a coffee and a strong shot of Whiskey, only to find out the elves had finished the Whiskey and the coffee pot was broken. Just then, the doorbell rang. Santa answered the door to find an Angel standing next to a beautiful Christmas tree. The Angel said to Santa. “Good evening, Santa. Isn’t it a lovely evening? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn’t it a lovely tree? Where would you like me to put it?”
Thus began the tradition of the little Angel sitting on top of the Christmas tree.
Lions Xmas Party Tuesday, December 12th
Hauraki Plains Centenial Centre 6.30pm
BYO
Apologies to Frank by Friday 8th December at 6.00pm
Invocation – Gray Townshend
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PRESIDENTS REPORT
Merry Christmas Fellow Lions
My thanks to all Lions for their year of service.
Our year will wind up with our Christmas Tea Night on the 12th at the College and the Santa parade on the 14th, then we will all be able to relax and enjoy the start of the festive season.
With the weather so hot now, cooling off in a pool with the odd cool beer or two, will be a great way to wind down the year.
Garry Macintosh is home now and visitors welcome to call.
So that is it from me for this year and I wish everyone a very merry Christmas, a happy holiday and my best wishes for a prosperous New Year.
Cheers,
Keven
ACCOUNTS
Administration $2,126.11
Convention $783.52
Charitable Trust $10,446.40
Notice Saver $3,147.73
NEWS FROM DIRECTORS
Help is required at the Ngatea Christmas parade on Thursday, December the 14th. We need Lions helping out on the night with both our Christmas float and the activities at the domain afterwards. See Alex at the Christmas Dinner if you are available. Alex also needs about half a dozen soft toys and some fencing reels for one particular activity. Please contact him if you have any. Thanks.
The Family Fun Day committee has met and planning is underway. We will need plenty of help on Sunday, March the 4th next year, so please put it on your calendar.
Lions Christmas function is on Tuesday, December the 12th. 6.30pm at the Hauraki Plains Centenial Centre on Haywards Road, Ngatea. A full buffet style dinner for $40. Some beer and wine provided but otherwise BYO. Please let Frank know about apologies before 6.00pm on Friday, December the 8th. If you don’t put in an apology, it will be assumed that you and your partner will both be attending. Frank needs accurate numbers for catering. Raffles win be on offer as well. Thanks.
Dinner meetings next year will be the normal February Shoot and the Bowling in March.
Paeroa Battle of the Streets. Sunday 18th February. We will be doing our usual jobs that weekend so please keep it free.