Talk for Dad’s Funeral—April 3, 2009

[by Daren’s son, Daren Kurt Young]

It’s truly heartwarming to see so many of Daren’s friends, family and neighbors here to honor him today. On behalf of my siblings and me, we want to thank you for being here and for the special place each of you had in Dad’s life.

Most of you know that I am named after my father. One of my life’s greatest honors and responsibilities has been to share his name. Daren was quite an unusual name when it was chosen for him back in 1922. In fact, he received this name because my Grandma Young discovered it in a short story in a Saturday Evening Post magazine she had been reading during her pregnancy with Dad. The main hero in the story was named ‘Daren’ and Grandma really liked how it sounded; so that’s how he got his name.

Grandma may not have realized this, but the name ‘Daren’ in Irish and Welch tradition means ‘He who upholds the good.’ In Old English and Gaelic languages, Daren means ‘great’ while it also is defined as ‘precious gift’ in Greek and Persian. I think every one of these definitions applies equally well in defining Daren’s character. For those of us who knew him, Dad was each of these things and more.

Dad makes note in his personal history that his name was singularly unique during his childhood, and for many years in his early adulthood he rarely if ever met any other Darens. But by 1960 the name and all its variations had become quite popular. That may have been one of the reasons he and my mother decided to call their youngest son Daren, as well. But Mom and Dad also decided not to make me a ‘junior,’ but instead gave me a different middle name of Kurt with a ‘K’, only slightly varied, from my father’s Curtis with a ‘C’.

To identify us, my relatives and neighbors came to know me as Daren K. and Dad as Daren C. In fact, most of my cousins still refer to me as Daren K. But by adolescence, I decided I was tired of being referred to by an initial, and decided to drop the ‘K’ all together. Part of this may have had to do with the fact that my sister Annette liked to call me Karen Day instead of Daren K. to tease me.

Dad and I also had to put up with the many variations of our name that came about because of the 1960s television series “Bewitched,” in which the husband of the title character was also named ‘Darren’. And because this Darren’s mean-spirited mother-in-law, Endora, deliberately called him everything from ‘Derwood’ to ‘Dabwin’ rather than his real name, Dad and I got called these names, as well. For those of you too young to understand this cultural reference, just ask your parents to explain after the service.

During those years before I moved out of Mom and Dad’s home, Dad and I also had the typical confusion of mixed-up mail and phone calls because of having the same name. Dad and I also had to tolerate having our name misspelled almost constantly by those who didn’t know better, since other spellings had become far more common than ours of D-a-r-e-n. We both got very used to saying “only one ‘r’ and then an ‘e’” to clarify the spelling.

But Dad and I share more than just a name. I attribute much of the person I am today to the many other things I have in common with my father.

Of course, I used to love to kid Dad by telling him that some of the things we share were those he contributed to me through his half of my genetic make-up including lousy eyesight, disagreeable digestive system, and high cholesterol. But there are countless other things I inherited from Dad that I will always treasure.

Dad had an incredible sense of fairness and equality. He always felt that people should earn things because of their own abilities and hard work, not because of who they are or who they know. Dad knew that some of the greatest satisfaction in life comes from serving others and giving of one’s self. He had a keen eye for detail and was a perfectionist in everything he did… if he couldn’t do something well he wouldn’t do it at all.

I also know I received my artistic talents from Dad. If anyone remembers the amazing technical craft of his bulletin boards and posters that graced his 5th grade classroom at Park School, or the beautiful handiwork of the almost life-size nativity figures he made to decorate the front of our home in Spanish Fork at Christmastime, you will agree that Dad was quite an artist.

Some of my other childhood memories of Dad include numerous fathers-and-sons outings as well as the many hours he helped me in scouting. This includes the spectacular race car he helped me design and make for the Pinewood Derby. My car didn’t win the race, but it sure did look good! Because my Grandpa Young who was an avid fisherman had promised to teach me to fish but was unable to fulfill that promise before he died, my dad stepped in and took me fishing in Grandpa’s place. I can remember those late nights searching for night crawlers in our lawn, and those early mornings leaving before dawn to hit the best fishing spots up the canyon. I can also remember those endless hours of casting and reeling and waiting for a fish to bite. That’s another thing both Dad and I have in common—neither one of us really liked fishing all that much, anyway!

When I was a teenager, I went through a rather difficult and rebellious phase. Dad stood by me through all of that. Because of some professional father-and-son counseling he and I had at the recommendation of our church leaders, Dad and I became good friends, as well. I will always remember our good times going to BYU football games together and our other bonding activities, and the camaraderie that developed as a result.

One of the last things I was able to share with Dad was time. Since he first became ill at the beginning of February, I was able to be with Dad for at least a few hours almost each day he was in the hospital and rehab. And during the last two weeks of his life, I got to spend most of every single day with him even though he may not have always known I was there. As communication became more and more difficult for him especially at the end, it was still such a blessing to be there beside him and assist him in any small way I could. When I arrived on the day before he passed away, he looked up at me and said “Howdy Doody!” to which I replied “Howdy Doody, Daddy!” That gave him a chuckle and a smile and he then proceeded to hum a song to me for the next several minutes. Those were the last words Dad was able to say to me, and what a wonderful way to remember him.

I was with Dad when he passed away last Friday afternoon. I was honored to be by his side when he left this mortal existence and reunited with those on the other side, including his dear wife Ruth, his daughters Nancy and Lynda, and his siblings and parents. I’m going to miss Dad dearly, but know he lived a good and honorable life and one which I can only hope to aspire to live. I am so grateful I have been able to share so many things with my Dad, especially his good name.

Before I close, I want to publicly thank my partner, Steven, for all the love and kindness he showed my father during his final weeks of life. You’ll never know how much that means to my siblings and me. I also greatly appreciate how both my parents always made Steven feel like such an important part of our family.

And I would also especially like to tell all of Daren’s friends, neighbors and the staff at Cove Point Retirement Center just how much he and my mother appreciated your friendship and support during their last few years with us. I’d like to read a very sweet note from one of his good friends and neighbors there delivered to our family shortly after Dad’s death. This note sort of sums up Mom and Dad’s experience at Cove Point:

“Dearest Family of Daren Young,

My heart aches for you at the passing of Daren, your loved one.

I’m sure I could express the feelings of all of us who knew Daren and Ruth at Cove Point Retirement Center in saying that Daren and Ruth touched their lives with goodness and our Savior’s love with their great examples.

While we grieve for both of them, we are happy they are together again, enjoying their loved ones on the other side of the veil.

May our Father in Heaven grant all of you peace and comfort and His most beautiful blessings always.

Sincerely and all my love,

Naomi Reynolds”

Daren truly was a great man, one who always upheld the good, and was a precious gift to each of us fortunate enough to know him. Our thanks again to all of you for being here today and for joining us as we honor and remember Daren for the wonderful influence he was and will continue to be in each of our lives.

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